Drowning~ Dazai Osamu x Reader (F)

Memories flood in like a nightmare

"Please tell me the truth." My quiet plead could only be heard by the two of us, pain evident in my tone. "You're pathetic." I look up the tears in my eyes threatening to spill, but no I wasn't going to further confirm his statement. "You actually believed I loved you?" Dazai's eyes show a look of pure malice and amusement. So Mori wasn't lying. Dazai has been cheating, he never loved me. Great the one fucking thing that asshole Mori didn't lie about. I look back up at Dazai and turn straight around and walk out of the door, leaving him in his own room alone. Fuck him I don't need him, or atleast I'll try to tell myself that.

Truth is I obviously can take care of myself and I have always been strong with or without him. The problem is I love him.

The next morning he was gone. Without a word, without a trace. Not a single piece of evidence leading to where he went or how he left. Fuck. I'm alone now I may as well cry. Over the sound of my own dispair I heard a knock on my door. "Hey (Y/N) it's Chuuya" His voice was softer and warmer than usual. I stood up and walked to open the door. "Hey" he quickly hugged me carefully. "Fucking hell I'm going to kill him (Y/N). I'm actually going to kill him." Chuuya's face is still hidden in my neck. Though the two have always had a rocky relationship they did always trust eachother, somewhere in their hearts they know they care for eachother. "Yeah well if you get the chance call me I think I'd like to join you Chuu." I let out a sad chuckle hoping to lighten the heavy mood. His bitter laugh fills my ear, "Yeah I'll let you know we can pop open a bottle of nice wine and kick the shit out of him." I laugh at the thought. Of course neither of us want to hurt him well atleast I don't I can't speak for shorty over here. "Hey let's go to the bar" he nods his head "sure"

A hour and about 20 shots later. "Fuck Chuuya I really hate that bitch." "Mhm" is all I hear in response from the redhead who is pretty much knocked out at this point. "Like what if we track him down and kick his ass." "Mhm"

Another 3 shots later. "Chuuya I love him why did he leave me?" I sob obnoxiously. Snore. Okay so he's out. "I wasn't good enough." Okay I know in my head I was better than good enough but still After carrying chuuya home I bring him into my dorm. "Alright buddy you're staying over tonight I need to make sure you don't die of alcohol poisoning." I move him to one side of the bed and take his shoes off, moving to my side and doing the same.

"Night Chuu, thank you for everything." I turn away from him and lay on my side. Snore. I giggle slightly how is he able to fall asleep so fast every time.

I wake up with a pounding headache I sit up and look fo Chuuya getting worried when he's not next to me in the bed. "Chu-" Ah so that was the noise I heard last night and in my alcohol haze decided to ignore. I laugh heading over to the other side of the bed and bending down to the floor. "Oi Chuuya wake up" I shake him and receive a groan in return. "Holy shit what happened last night, I feel like I've been hit by a semi-truck" I laugh "light weight" he turns his head to look at me with a big pout on his face. "You had 9 shots and you were out." I start laughing even harder "huhh no way (Y/N) I'm no t a light weight!" I stand up and walk away still laughing. "OI WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?" I roll my eyes "hangover cure"

I brew some coffee and some tea unsure of which will be better right now. I go to get the mugs out of the cabinet a frown goes over my face. Our mugs. The matching mugs that Dazai had gotten us when I started to sleep over more frequently. I hear shuffling behind me so I blink a few time to rip of the tears that were threatening to form. "Coffee or Tea?" I flash my dear friend a big smile. "Wine" I roll my eyes "No Chuu I'm making you some coffee." I get a hum in response and he goes and leans on the small two person table in my kitchen. I push the matching mugs to the back of the cabinet, grabbing two plain black ones. I bring my tea and his coffee over sitting down in the chair as he follows soon after. I hand him the tea "here you go" he smiles "thank you (Y/N)" I nod and drink my tea.

Our headaches slowly fading away and Chuuya's phone ringing off the hook brings us back to reality. "Hey that might be Mori you should answer Chuu" he groans "Hello boss." Ew so it is Mori.

CHUUYA POV(OMG)

"Chuuya put me on speaker I would like both you and (Y/N) to hear this." Ugh great I roll my eyes and click the speaker button. "Alright Boss you're on" he chuckles his disgusting arrogant chuckle. I can practically hear his smirk through the phone. "So the demon prodigy has left the Port Mafia, he's a traitor." I look at (Y/N) who just looks like she trying to keep her cool and appear unbothered. God I'm going to kill that asshole Mackerel for what he's done to her. "Well I would send the two of you to kill him but unfortunately we need to keep him around atleast for a little bit longer." I'm so close to just hanging up on him right now, of course I respect him but I really don't think (Y/N) needs this shit right now. "Chuuya take me off speaker now." Seriously all he wanted to do was taunt her. I take him off speaker "What do you need boss?" "I have a mission for you."

BACK TO NORMAL POV

Chuuya finishes up on the phone. "Hey (Y/N) I've got to go I have a mission in an hour." I nod "Okay Chuu be safe" he leaves my dorm waving me off "Thanks for everything (Y/N)" I laugh yelling a quick "No problem Chuuya!!" And with that he's gone and I'm all alone again. I lay down on my bed throwing the pillow Chuuya used last night over my face so I could scream. Hey- what was that crinkle noise? I feel a small lump in the pillow case. I pull out a small crumbled up piece of paper straightening it out I see a letter in Dazai's handwriting.

"To my Dearest love
Please dont cry, I love you and I never did or meant any of the things I said to you that night. That being said I broke my vow, my vow to never ever hurt you under any circumstance. You deserve better than me, you always have. I'm so sorry I have to leave, my love for you is endless but for you and me it's best if I leave. On the topic of leaving I know a guy who can get you out of the darkness, he can help bring you into the light just as he has done for me. My only hope is one day we will see each other again. If this does not happen my love, please try to forget me and move on its what's best for you.
With love,

Your Dazai Osamu

That's it. My decision is made. I have to call Chuuya but quickly I need to quit my crying. I collect myself and my things as I call my best friend. I've been waiting for a chance like this for years. Dazai and I have even made plans together but alas he left without me. With Oda's death I understand it, he was a best friend and brother figure to me as well. In the years I have known Dazai I honestly expected him to run out on me sooner, it's just in his nature to lie and manipulate for this reason I am not mad at him. Finally after calling twice Chuuya answered the phone "Hey (Y/N) I'm kinda busy right now what do you need" Ah that's right he's on his way to his mission right now. "Chuuya I love you so much you're family to me. I'm so sorry....Goodbye I hope to see you again." I wait a second before hanging up "WAIT-" I click the button and break the phone. Gathering the last of my belongings. I grab the mugs, some money and the note and im off.

"(Y/N) HEY" my eyes open someone's shaking me. Vision blurry I look to my right. Osamu? Wait I was dreaming. No, not dreaming remembering.