Street Vegans

Chapter 10

"Ring a ding ding mother fuckers! I hope you're up! You make good on your promise or does the little one get to gut blondie over here like a fish?" Shouted a disembodied voice from the sky.

The boys immediately bolted up, Chad screeching like a pterodactyl. 

"Why!! Why are you like this?!" Chad shouted back, not yet registering what the God said. 

"My apologies. I’ve tried to contain him," came a deeper, much calmer disembodied voice. "Though at least you don’t have to deal with his T-posing."

Chad and West exchanged disgruntled looks, not even sure what to make of the comment.

"Anyway, back to business. Answer the question fribble!" Said the first voice again.

Chad took a second to think (surprisingly) before deciding to give up, lest his brain start smoking. "Okay listen here asshole, I have no clue what you’re saying or what time period you’re apparently living in, but if you could try that again in English that’d be great." Chad quipped, before looking over to make sure West was still on the roof with him.

The tired boy was, in fact, still right beside him. He seemed not to be paying attention anymore.

"Yes well if you could try that again without the attitude that’d be great," mocked the voice. "And for your information, I happen to like the 90's."

"Bawlin' gossip dawg, but I still have no clue what your question was about 90's asshole."

"My question was about your goal here?" the voice bit back. "You know, befriending our followers, being less of a huge dick. Is that ringing any bells or do we get to take the blonde one now?"

Horror washed over Chad’s face as he remembered just what was at stake. 

"Wait, wait, wait, we never agreed to that, you’re the ones who came up with that!" Chad justified, once again trying to deny the possibility of losing his best friend.

"Well we offered to kill your parents, but that wasn’t effective enough."

"Well that doesn’t mean you get to kill West! Who died and made you King because last time I checked my dad was the King!" Chad retorted childishly. 

"Yes well I’m the King of the universe so shut up," the God responded before blowing a raspberry.

There was a sigh. "Way to be mature about this," the second voice piped in again.

"You shut up whoever you are! I am the maturest of mature people and you can’t take West! Just take my parents instead, or wait, no! You can have my favourite beanie," Chad cried, taking the red beanie off his head, dropping his bank cards in the process. "It’s a really nice colour and soft." The boy tried, starting to tear up.

"Well it’s great that whoever’s doing your laundry knows how to use fabric softener, but that’s of no use to us. Either prove that you’ve made up for your assholery or give us the blonde kid."

"No, you-you can’t have him! He’s m-my best friend and I wo-won’t let you take him!” At that point Chad was full on bawling. 

"Chill out broski, you can make other friends or something, there’s nothing special about this one."

A light "dude, ouch" came from West.

"He is right," the second god responded. "You humans are quite expendable."

That however did not console Chad who started sobbing inconsolably, dropping his beanie in the small pile of bank cards. West placed a hand on Chad’s shoulder before he was pulled into a hug by the crying boy. The blond ran a hand through his friend’s hair comfortingly as he continued to snivel and mutter incoherent pleads into the former’s hoodie. Not even five minutes into Chad’s emotional breakdown, the calmer disembodied voice spoke up again.