Josie's Journey

Time Is Fake Anyway

A doctor walked in. "Good morning miss Josie. I hope you're starting to feel better. We know you're going to be alright. Just breathe and we will continue the Benadryl and breathing treatments until you've seemed to recover from it all." Dr. Cooper said, reading her chart. "Well, I see you've been here quite a few times recently."

He checked her medications on the IV pump and updated the rate of her fluids.

Elaine looked at Josie who kept dozing off. She was nodding, slowly laying her head onto the side of the pillow, clutching the pillow over her soft blankets. She felt uncomfortable and didn't want to move for a long time. It was too painful to move anyways. They have given her four doses already to try and stop the reaction, the third one working a charm! They had also given her a solumedrol drip to help her immune system. They soon find out she has a kidney infection. They started on fluids and antibiotics. They also place a catheter, so she wouldn't have to get up and move around. She had to say where the doctors could keep her stable.

She was scared that her kidney was going to be bad and that she'd need another transplant. That was the scariest thing that ever happened. She was struggling hardcore with her anxiety and depression. It was difficult for her to understand what was going on.

The doctor came in and out, trying different medications over and over again, finally getting the antibiotics to work for Josie's kidney. It was finally getting better. It took two weeks to get her back to normal.

Josie could finally feel like she could breathe after numerous breathing treatments and doses of IV Benadryl. She was really sleepy, but the reaction had finally seised.She was glad because they were now headed out and headed home. It was a weird reaction to her formula so they decided to change it to more of an allergy friend blend of nutrients and vitamins. All the Benadryl wore her out and she slept all the way home.

Elaine was sure to be quiet to let her daughter rest after the tube change and epinephrine use. She couldn't figure out why it would make it her so tired so she went home with three boxes of auto injectors. Elaine was worried about josie, her symptoms were worsening, but she always had a smile on her face. She loved her for how all her brave, strong, and graciousness.

Josie didn't understand why it was happening to her. She was glad she had a source of nutrition. She saw her mother standing beside her, but she wasn't herself. She was Anna (fronting). She looked at Elaine. "When can we go home?"

Elaine sighed. "After your potassium goes up." She stated. She was looking at Josie and sighed. "I know you want to go home, but soon we will go home. Just relax."

Anna huffed and crossed her arms on her chest. She groaned and stared at the paper. Maybe you have this, but it doesn't define you.

Anna nodded and saw the doctor walk in with discharge papers.

"You will need to add more electrolytes to your feeds. I will remove your IV and your clothes are in the bag in the cabinet." The doctor said.

Josie got her clothes and went to change in the bathroom. She wore her leggings and a t-shirt, staring in the mirror. Carter co-fronts and started to say something. You're literally so pathetic, fat, and useless.

She cleared her mind and tried to forget about it, although it was trauma added to her previous trauma. She finished getting dressed and went to Elaine to head home.

Once they arrive home, Jaimie ran out and hugged Josie tightly, holding her tight. She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I'm okay, Jaimie. I know it was scary, but I'm okay now." She told them and smiled. All of them went inside and it was nice to be inside whereas it was raining again like it always does in Chicago.

Josie shivered as she got inside and went to the bathroom to shower. She turned the water on and got undressed, staring at the body, noticing her scares and her day around her thighs and hips; the scars on her stomach which felt flabby and she wanted to vomit.

She was scared about everything, but she was finally content with life. She didn't want to die or kill herself which is great news for her. She knew she had to continue therapy and group counseling, trying to learn how to handle her alters and learn more about cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy. It was simple. It was going to be okay.

She finally stepped into the shower and closed her eyes while under the faucet, the water falls onto her body, the dirt and loose skin coming off and going down the drain. She sighed as she slowly passed out, collapsing on the floor of the shower.