Unreachable

Chapter 13~ Daisies in the Wind

A/N- "this font" -Cordelias voice. (Y/N can not always hear it)

TW~ Suicide attempt/ Panic attack(?)/Pills/drowning
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   At this moment, she realized your body knew something your mind didnt.
                                •••

    Myrtle had you cradled in her arms as you repeated the same four words over and over, with each one getting quieter under your breath. The only words Cordelia had left you with.

"I love you y/n."

    Though the final dance never happened, the vinyl that seemed to play on it's own, was turning in the background mixing in with your cries for your lost love.

    "Shes gone my dear." Myrtle whispered trying to bring you back to reality and start the stage of acceptance that Cordelia was in fact not coming back. "No, Shes- still here. See?" You wept out pointing to the record player.

                   You're right. I am.

    "Y/N she passed last night. You were there...holding her hand."
Its all lies. None of this is true. You thought. You had just been with her last night. She wasnt dead. "No! We were on the balcony together. Shes not gone." Myrtle never lied, and you knew that with every bit of you. But you didnt want to admit it to yourself that you were alone with every responsibility passed on to you.

    "Listen to me, you are right. You were on the balcony..."
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    Your hands joined as the love of your life took her last breath. It was now that you felt all of her power sink into you with no drops left of it in her. It was now when everything became cloudy only later to mess up your perception of that night. You felt a presence of saftey and love. You looked behind you to meet  the outline of her standing in the doorway observing while you mourning over her lifeless body.

   All the girls were in the room, they watched as you started walking away from Cordelias side as if it was nothing. They didnt see what you saw. Everyone watched in confusion. But what you saw was Cordelias had stretched out waiting for you to take it.

   She guided you out of the room towards the balcony. The closer you got the more wrong this felt. The energy started to feel less like the Delia you knew, more evil, but you were in a vulnerable state, state where you'd do anything to be with her once again even if it was for five seconds.

    The woman led you to the edge of the railing. You looked up at her as you sat on the top of it. She gave you a nod. Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around you pulling you back. "I need to see her again!" You fought whoever had a hold of you. "Y/n, shh. Its alright." The voice spoke. "Come on let's go back to bed."
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    And that was the reality of that night. There was no late night conversation with Cordelia under the stars talking about how she knew you were the supreme in line, there was no cuddling under the stars. It was all what you had wished. It was all in your head.

    You fought yourself out of Myrtles embrace running towards your bedroom that you no longer share, and into the bathroom locking yourself in. Not long after multiple footsteps could be heard hurtling toward the door. "Y/N open up!" Zoe yelled.

  I've said that too many times before.

  You smiled to yourself as you scoured through the medicine cabinet.

    Dont do this y/n. You promised you wouldn't give up.

"What else am I supposed to do Delia?!"

   You couldn't tell if you were actually hearing Cordelia or you were just going insane. But it didnt matter anymore, soon enough they'd be hearing you.

"Y/N, kiddo is okay just let at least one of us in." Misty's gentle tone didnt stop you no matter how calming it was, she wasnt the woman who you'd open that door for, like all the other times.

  You unscrewed the cap off of the bottle of pain killers.

Shes right. They can help you.

   Holding a hand full of the pills, you walked over to the tub filling it up.

   "I need to see her!" You screamed at the girls on the other side. "Please! It's going to be alright, we are here for you." Mallory and Coco pounded in the door in hopes they'd do the trick.

    Staring at the pills in your hand, and the water in the bath,

Is this really how y-

"STOP!"

Those were the last words the girls heard you say. Downing both handfuls of pills four times,

Y/N NO!

It wasnt long before you started feeling it. You submerge yourself into the tub closing your eyes. You began to feel light, numbness took over as your body just let it happen.

    It was all darkness for a while until
you saw a bright light, almost like the sun. It cleared up revealing a field of daisies, Cordelia stood in the distance with the wind blowing her dress and hair in the same direction. Cordelias voice came forward, then you saw her true outline as she got closer. Not the one from the other night, the real Delia wouldn't tell you to end it all for her. She'd want you to keep going.

You're not ready yet sweetheart. They need you.

"But I need you. It's too much to do alone."

I'm not letting you break your promise. Death doesn't take away the pain y/n, it gives it to someone else.

"You gave yours to me."

There was a moment of silence between your voices. You thought you lost her again.

I will be there every day. Each step, every breath you take until it's really your time. Today is not that day.

    The scenery started to fade taking your love with away once again, getting dimmer by the second. Then she left you with those same words as before.

I love you.
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A/N~ idk how I feel about this one. I've been getting more requests for su!c!de lately, on this book and the one shot. -are yall good?
<3