Chapter 4~ Tell Me

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  TW ED mentions/ Mental abuse (?)
 
    You didn't wake up in your room, but in an unfamiliar one. Lifting your head off of a pillow you glanced around, your gaze hit a familiar blonde who was fast asleep in an arm chair still in her clothes from the night before. This is her room? Who knew someone could look so ethereal or goddess like 24/7. Even without those afternoon sun eyes open viewing the world, she was still perfect in every way. She was the criminal mastermind behind the reason the butterflies in your stomach that hadn't gone away since you met her.

Cordelia's eyes began to flutter meaning she'd wake up any second. You laid your head back on one of her pillows pretending to be asleep. She stretched her arms above her head parting a yawn.  The woman walked over to you pulling the covers on top of you, putting a hand on your cheek. Poor girl. She thought. Cordelia made her way towards the bathroom. Not being able to contain your laughter you gave a little smile and a quiet giggle, making Delia whip her head around. "I knew you weren't asleep." She joked.

    Looking into the bathroom the supreme stood in looked a lot like yours. There was a door on the other end, walking over to it you opened the door to reveal your bedroom. Nobody told me we'd be sharing. "Oh yeah by the way we share a bathroom." Cordelia gave you a smirk. "No shit. That would have been great to know earlier." Grabbing some clothes from your wardrobe, Cordelia busted in the room. "Hey! What if I was naked?" You looked at her waiting for a response.  You saw her eyes skim over your body in the quickest motion. Clearing her throat, "Sorry, but I want you to take it light today, you passed out last night after..." she pointed towards the bathroom "that." 

    "Cordelia it's really not- y/n I insist." She interrupted.  "I care about your wellbeing, so I want you to tell me what exactly happened."  You two were now sitting on your bed, her hands were on top of yours. Her attention was fully on you. "I lost myself." You were a person of  deep words, but so was the supreme yet sometimes she didnt completely understand what you meant. Cordelia narrowed her eyes in confusion tightening the grip on your palms. "Well- I mean its not like it hasn't happened before. It comes and goes. One day I'll feel fine, the next I'll want nothing to do with what's on the  plate in front of me."
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   Days before being left at the gate of the academy the wave of sickness when you ate came back. It had been at least a year since you gotten better. It took a while for you to get back to a "normal state". Without any support emotionally or physically it was hard. You lost yourself, getting caught up in your head telling you; you're not good enough. Your mother never took it seriously for all you knew she encouraged you not eating. She said it puts you on track to be just like her. The only thing she ever ate was a salad and god forbid she ate pasta, that woman wouldn't eat until the next morning. You didnt understand where any of energy to scream at you came from. Now as you got older, realizing she was abused mentally growing up and that influenced her ways of parenting. It was all she had known.
   
   Although she made you hate yourself. Telling you that you weren't her definition of perfect, or you were a flat out disappointment. Your self esteem got lower and lower each year that past in that household. There was no way you could forgive the woman. She inflicted so many false truths upon you. She tore your soul apart.  Something a child shouldn't have to go through with their parent.
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    "So yeah. I guess I lost myself again." Cordelia had watery eyes. Your story hit her in a spot that felt close to home. Her mother, Fiona told her that she was never good enough, didn't feel like the daughter she wish she had. "Hey, don't cry." You wiped a tear with the pad of your thumb. She closed her eyes causing another droplet to fall. The supreme found your touch soothing, your voice calmed her like hers did to you.  "Don't you worry y/n, this is the beginning of you loving yourself again. And I'll be there every step."

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-a/n- this is a short chapter too. Idk of anyone is still reading this anymore... but the next part will definitely be more interesting.          -confesions are made-
-m<3

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