lucifer, l.hemmings

chapter twenty-three ➝ "cosmic love"

Chapter Twenty-Three: "Cosmic Love" by Florence and The Machine.

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It was definitely selfish - telling Luke the story of Hunter and my father in the manner that I had. At the time, I just wanted to shock him and get him to shut up but now looking back... maybe it wasn't the best idea.

Sure, I had shocked him but nothing rewarding had come of it. I didn't feel better knowing that he was worried for my sanity. I didn't feel like I had won the fight, now that Luke was looking at me with such a sympathetic gaze.

"Do you want to talk about it legitimately or do you want me to accept that half-assed version?" Luke asked quietly, seeming to genuinely wonder what I wanted more.

"If talking about it more gets that fucking look off your face then I'm all for it." I swallowed loudly, sitting down on Austin's bed. I didn't want him staring at me with such sympathy; it made me itch all over - and not in the good way.

"I don't want to force you into this..." Luke swallowed loudly, grabbing a chair from Austin's desk and dragging it over until it was positioned in front of me.

"No, you're right. Spilling that all out wasn't good for either of us." I admitted, running my fingers through my hair.

It was a bit shocking at how quickly we had reigned in our tempers. Not even ten minutes ago we had been snapping and spitting out words of cruelty. I had accused him of not caring, and he had retaliated with a half-assed accusation revolving around Austin.

"So," Luke bit his lip ring softly and if we were still together and not in the middle of a huge row, I probably would've tried to kiss him. "Your Dad killed Hunter? How was that, like, not all over the news?"

"It was." I pointed out softly. "I mean, some of it was, I guess. My Dad was this powerful politic, very well known, so the court tried to keep it all very hush hush. Most people know that some rich, high-paying man murdered Hunter. Rarely anyone knows the real story behind it."

"The story that you had to witness." Luke added carefully when I nodded slowly, unsure of how to continue this.

I hadn't spoken about what happened to Hunter since the trail. It had been a closed because I was underage. I looked at Luke, I mean really looked at him, before deciding that this was something that had to be said. I trusted him; regardless of the fights and the way we ended this.

This was Luke and I couldn't keep it from him anymore. If we had any chance at rekindling this in the future, like he had mentioned after I took a dive into his grandmothers pool, then we'd have to be honest.

"I was the only witness because..." I trailed off. Despite telling myself I would do this, I realised maybe I emotionally couldn't. Going back to that state of mind wasn't safe.

"Hey, it's okay." Luke whispered, moving forward on his seat. He captured my hands and held them tightly, effectively stopping them from shaking as badly they had been. "I'm here and no matter what you tell me... I'm still going to be here." He said kindly but with an underlining tone of authority.

I shot him a small smile and just inhaled slowly. "I told you how I confronted my father about all this Hunter stuff, right?" Luke nodded. "Well, I didn't do that until a few months after Hunter originally told me. I knew that he was my half-brother but I didn't want to do anything about it. I didn't want to cause my mum any harm... it's all a bit selfish and unimportant now, I s'pose." I mumbled quietly.

"Anway, one day after school, Hunter persuaded me to come over to his house. He wanted to get to know me, see what I was like and what my father was like considering he wanted nothing to do with Hunter. I felt really... guilty that I got to see Dad daily yet he wouldn't even acknowledge Hunter."