Save Him

Chapter 43

I moved around the house looking at the walls that held a lifetime's memories. I saw every picture we had around the house traveling back in the time, sat in their bedroom feeling their presence. I smelled my mother's perfume and I felt her around me as if she was actually here. The tears slowed down, I missed them but there was nothing I could do.

I washed my face looking my face in my mirror; pale skin, bloodshot eyes that were expressing my pain. I cleaned myself up thinking about Corbyn. I had to use the strength he had been lending me all this time. And then, I stopped crying, I smiled; he would be proud. Not wanting to fall right back in my sadness, I tidied up my clothes and cleaned the house. As the night was coming closer, I took my keys heading to the store to buy groceries.

When I lock the door and turn around to leave, my eyes catch a movement. A formed figure is standing in the window of the second floor in the house opposite mine.

"Crap," I murmur and hurry in the driveway with rapid strides. I had forgotten about Jenna, the stalker neighbor I was fearing all those years. If I returned later than the time I promised my mother, I'd always have the terror of her betrayal. And now, in no time, everyone will know I came back. I shut my eyes in frustration.

I walk fast inside the store having still the memory of where everything is, and wishing that nobody notices me. I hate having those acquaintances where I have to smile and accept their formal condolences. I have to answer their questions about how I'm doing, where I was, and about the mystery of my lost voice. They just want to spread gossip, and I have no mood in giving the clues for one.

In the cashier, I give my credit card to a young girl at my age, she wasn't working here before and I couldn't be more grateful about that. I put my stuff in two plastic bags and the moment I think I've succeeded in not being seen, my eyes raise and meet one of my mother's co-workers. She frowns, trying to test her memory and I mumble a quick thank you at the girl before storming out of the market. I wish I had my angel's speed right now, more than ever.

Jenna is still watching me as I walk to my door and all the curses I have heard escaping my angel's irresistible lips cross my mind. Maybe he wouldn't be proud about that.

After putting them in the selves, I change into a loose white shirt and shorts, and lay in my bed taking my laptop. My legs move up and down as my college application list appears on the screen. Our argument replays in my head and my energy fades away. He must be at the party now. I eye my phone on my desk on the other side of the room but I don't stand up to take it.

I don't know what to do. I spend almost an hour looking at the list biting my lip and with every passing second, my heart is thudding faster and my melancholy is growing within my grieving soul. I miss him. I browse my phone debating if I should call him, again. The bell though rings saving me from having to make a decision. Yet, I walk as slow as I can. Jenna must have done her magic again and spread the news all over the place. I huff in disdain. I descend the stairs glancing at the door and take a deep breath to collect my strength to deal with whoever is behind.

I begin opening the door, slightly, to give the message that this discussion won't take long. I plaster a small smile on my face. My eyes move and I freeze in my feet. My smile falls as my lips part letting a gasp slip out. My widen eyes connect with sparkling blue ocean ones and the air disappears. I keep them open relishing the moment I'm sure I imagine; it can't be true, it's a fragment of my pathetic imagination. His black outfit matches the darkness that evolves behind him in the eternal black ocean above. His tousled blonde hair shines like a halo around him reminding me of his angelic glory. However, my brain is completely empty.

I'm hallucinating. He wouldn't be here. He can't be. I take a step back as if he pushed me with force staring at him. The door slips from my fingers and opens further, slowly, at its own pace till it reaches the end. He looks at me carefully as his clear expectant eyes move up and down my body as if he's checking if I'm bruised or hurt. He walks towards me shutting the door behind him with a loud thud without taking his eyes from mine. He is here.

I try to utter a word but nothing comes out. I just stay still watching him in awe. He closes his eyes momentarily running his fingers through his blonde strands.

"I fucked up," He says meeting my eyes. "I know I did. I was angry at you for letting her mess with your head when she managed to do the same with me. I haven't doubted that you will ever leave me, ever. But when I found your applications, I lost my mind. I thought you wanted to go without thinking of us. I have been losing every little thing I have in my life for the last months because of the parents I was cursed to have, I lose something every day and I pray that I don't lose my sister but you..." He whispers and his eyes are soft, pleading as fear and pain creep into the angelic pure love they're depicting. "Baby, you are the one thing I can't lose," His whispered words melt my heart giving birth to new tears in my eyes.

"I told you to end it because I was mortified of the possibility of losing you. I can't afford to live without you. You were gone and I was losing my fucking mind, snapping at everybody. I was angry because you weren't there. I need you," He mutters.

"I don't care that you didn't tell me earlier, I wish you had though. I trust that you would. I know you want different colleges from me and that's because we're polar opposite but I don't care. I want you to go whenever you want, do whatever you have dreamed of. I don't want to hold you back. But what I really want, is for you to do all that with me. I know this decision is important but, honestly, I don't care about the buildings as long as I have you. We gonna work it out. I blamed you for not having enough faith in us when I was the one that I didn't because of my fear. Baby, we have been so much together, and I never should have doubted that we'd get through this, too. But I got so fucking scared of you moving on without me," Tears well up to my eyes blurring my vision. I bottle up my sobs sealing my lips.

"I love you," He confesses with such sweetness and honesty as if he's saying it for the first time. I feel it melt all of my parts and erasing all the day I was wishing to come to an end. "I don't care about anything else but you. I know we have a lot of things to talk about, but, I swear on us that I will do whatever it takes to make this work because that's what you do when you love someone. I want to fight for this, for us. As long as you want that too," His words find their way to my heart healing it all over again. All the desperation sinks and vanishes. God, I love him so much.

His eyes are waiting for me to say something but I can't. He expects me, asking for me as all those times he wanted my permission to go further, do more. Seeing him standing in front of me sends an overwhelming throbbing pain through me. The fear of my silence crosses his eyes.

I shake my head and a sob escapes before I run to him. I climb on him as his hands grip my waist binding me to him. I circle my hands on his neck attaching my lips with his. And just like that, I feel as if all of me is being reborn. Flaming fire burns me. I hold on to him tighter not breaking the kiss. I hear his breathing hardening but I don't have the power to let him. Tears keep running. I place my forehead on his looking closely at my favorite eyes.

"I love you," He whispers and I bite my lip not to burst into sobs. I connect our lips again feeling his tongue brush mine in my favorite way; devouring, slowly, tenderly. He walks up the stairs and stops at the door.

"No, in the end," I murmur upon his lips. He heads towards my room carrying me until he sets me on the bed. He takes off of his black jacket before I raise his shirt off of his head. His body has covered mine yet before our lips can lock; I whisper.

"Promise me, we will figure it out," I beg, staring up, closely, at my blue sky that shows nothing but love.
"We will,"