Life After Life

•C h a p t e r E i g h t e e n•

The week had come and gone, and it was surprisingly mundane. Liam and I had minimal interactions and I never saw him outside of class — which was fine with me. I needed to stay away from him for my own sake.

Avery however, kept bugging me about Liam, asking me if I liked him. She asked me that question every day as if my answer would suddenly change one morning. She was just curious and skeptical of my answer, and I understood that, but every time she asked, my mind would drift off to his dark eyes and ruffled hair.

It was the afternoon before the fundraiser. My cello sat next to my bed as I laid sprawled on top of it. I could not focus on practicing.

I'd done countless recitals before as a kid so I had plenty of songs memorized by heart, I just needed to practice some of them before. My body would not obey my mind though.

After a great deal of effort, I dragged myself off my bed and onto a chair, grabbing my cello and the bow. Without thinking, my hands flew over the strings, forming the chords as my other hand curled around the bow.

My mind drifted off as muscle memory took over.

I just didn't understand how I could tolerate Liam even after what he did two hundred years ago. I didn't understand how I didn't hate him anymore. After what he did, he still made me feel the same way I felt back then.

I was so happy with him back then, knowing that we'd get married one day. Even though Liam and I were just in the same class, I still felt the same bubbly feeling in my stomach knowing that I'd see him.

Around him, I'd be acting like that same naive girl two centuries back — and I didn't want to be her anymore. I didn't want to be the girl who wrote cute love letters to Liam, or the girl who was so focused on finding a husband.

And for sure, I didn't want to depend or be controlled by my father, or by my husband anymore. Yet, I found that I was letting myself do exactly that with Liam. If things came down to it, I'd trust Liam.

I knew I couldn't let my stomach swarm with butterflies or let myself flush as much as I did with Liam. But I couldn't control myself or my feelings.

As I pulled my bow through the last note, I snapped out of my thoughts. I'd only played one song, but that was all I really needed.

I did make up my mind about one thing: I'd try to avoid Liam tonight. Then when the semester finished, I could go back to my life before I'd met him — as if he never existed. My parents and his parents were business partners but that had nothing to do with to me.

I set my cello back into its stand, satisfied with my decision. My mom had invited many people to this event, I wouldn't even have to see Liam if I didn't want to.

____________________________

My bow slid across the set of strings for the final chord and the room erupted in an applause as I set aside my cello.

I stood up, bending down slightly into a bow before walking off, away from the makeshift stage my mom had set up. The guests turned back to whatever they had been doing before my performance. Soft pop music began playing on the speakers again.

Most of the guests had already written their donations in cheques and given them to me, and in return, I was to perform a few songs on the cello. I was glad there were still people willing to donate since I knew my performance at this event would have made little difference in the outcome.

I had put effort in my appearance today. I had taken the time to curl my hair and to attempt a nice eyeliner. To top it off, I pulled on a lace, crimson red dress. The hem ended right above my knees.