I Will Always Love You

321 8 10
                                    

The room was dark, with the blinds pull closed casting a deep shadow over Miho's room. It was decorated with tank models and posters, along with her horde of Boko teddy bears that she treasure. Near the door a highly realistic panzerfaust lay against the wall, it was a gift from her mother after the victory in the first round of the 62nd National Tournament. The pride she felt then seems like a vague memory now, where for a moment, she felt her mother was proud of her for once, instead of constantly disappointed by her inability to conform to the Nishizumi style.

Miho hadn't left her room since she return home from Kuromorimine's school carrier unless she needed to use the restroom. The maids had brought food to her door and then came to collect it after she was done. Besides that, she had isolated herself in a hope that she might be forgotten for her failure and the shame she had brought on the family name.

It was all because she had left her tank during the final match against Pravda, to save her escort tank crew whose Panzer 3 had slipped off the side of the road and into the river. When that happened Miho forgot all about the match, her only thoughts were on saving her teammates. The results of her actions were rescuing her distressed teammates, but her Tiger 1, which also was the flag tank was taken out.

With that, the match ended in defeat and the end of the 9 years of dominance that had preceded Kuromorimine. Miho felt the weight of the responsibility, even the crew she rescue were grateful to her for saving them, but carried blame on their shoulders for being careless as their third-year teammates describe it. Even as the daughter of the legendary Shiho Nishizumi, Miho was not free from criticism from her third-year upperclassmen for her act to save her endangered teammates that lost them the match in their eyes.

After the match, Miho had to face another battle with a relentless enemy. That enemy was her mother, who scolded her youngest daughter for her actions. The head of Nishizumi School of tankery reminded her that she couldn't win without sacrifice, that compassion had no place on the battlefield. It horrified Miho to see her mother so cold as if they were a fighting war and not a sport.

For Miho, she love tankery there was no doubt about that. Even if she hadn't been born to the Nishizumi family, who were considered to be one of the original founding members of Sensha-do, she felt like she would have naturally gravitated toward tankery. It was a team sport that require the trust of your teammates and your crew. Crews became tight-knit friends over time while training and fighting together, which appeal to Miho who love friendship.

Kuromorimine wasn't a place for such feelings. They train crews for efficiency, not friendship, wanting them to be like well oil machines never missing a beat. Miho had to adjust against her will to become an effective commander, but she never felt close to anyone, not even her crew aboard the Tiger 1. Losing in the final because of her decision also made her teammates turn their back on her, which made Miho question if she ever wanted to do tankery anymore.

Growing up she had always tried to emulate her big sister Maho, a prodigy studying and fighting with the Nishizumi style to perfection. Her older sister's singular pursuit of perfection took her smile and replace it with a cold proficiency for tankery. As Miho grew up and watch this change in her sister, it slowly left doubts in her mind that she might never measure up to what her family stood for, which was only confirmed now after the loss in the final.

"I'm no good, if I can't be good at tankery, what am I worth?" Miho whispers to herself laying on her side, trying to make herself as small as possible in her bed.

It was a question that plague her mind since the loss to Pravda. For good reason, if she couldn't live up to the Nishizumi style, what good was she to a family that practically live for tankery. Her mother might just cast her out of the family, though Miho didn't think she was that cold, ever since her dad left the family their mother had stopped smiling and laughing. Her mind was only occupied with upholding the honor of the family name, no matter what it cost.

The Tigers of Chi-Ha-Tan ReRise Volume 1Where stories live. Discover now