It's Okay, Draco

Chapter 36

I felt an hollow in my chest, a hollow that no person could fill, no one's love or affection, the light I was once, was now turned to ashes as it died along with my mom.

My father's reaction was, like expected, heartbreaking, although he tried to be strong for me, he cried as well for the lost of the love of his life, while I was burried in his arms.

From my mother's funeral, I remember almost nothing, the pain was so much that deleted the all day away, maybe it was better this way, I didn't saw who came, or what happened, my mind was always in the flashes of my own mother dying in my bare arms, and I did nothing.

My father keeps telling me if I'm sure about going back to Hogwarts still with mother's so recent death, and all the time I say I'm sure.

This house holds too many memories, too many pictures, too many moments, I couldn't be better here where I face a pic of my mother every five minutes, and don't puts me thinking if there was something I could do.

But she knew, she knew all along.

She knew since summer that she would...that his would happen, now everything makes sense, everything I heard behind closed doors.

I told her I would keep smiling no matter what, but now that seemed no longer possible, because like everyone says.

My smile is like my mother's...

I'm a print of her, everytime I would look at the mirror, I would saw her, everytime I would smile, I would be her...

I felt the light I was once, now vanished in the deep ends of the painful darkness, left to die in despair and madness...

He tries to be strong, but everytime I walk near his room, I hear a sob, and I understand, he just lost the love of his life, and I have lost a mother to the age of fifteen, I understood his pain.

Didn't only my mother died that day, half of me died along with her.

I don't leave my room in any circumstance, there were too many flashes from her, too many paintings, and I couldn't bare to look at them without feeling my heart shatter in pieces like thin ice.

I always drink everything a Dreamless Sleep Potion at night, so like that my mother's flashes from her dying in my arms didn't appeared in my mind.

Although, I also take a Draught of Peace for the nerves, I feel this cold and dark feeling hunting me down like some frail prey - which at this very moment I was.

Draco sends me letters every day, I read all of them, but didn't replied, I wasn't capable to describe how I feel thought a miserable piece of old parchment, but, I was glad he kept delivering letters to me daily, I try to do what he says, give a small step bit by bit, until I reached the top of my mountain again.

But this time, the mountain had obstacles that I didn't knew how to pass throught them, and this is just the beginning.

The days grew shorter and seemed to pass too quickly, not that I cared, most of my day I was either sleeping, or embracing my knees and crying against my pillow.

I had everything packed already, I didn't wanted to let my father here alone, but he said he doesn't want me to stay just because of him, and he has friends so he would be fine, so I hope I'm making the best choice about going to Hogwarts.

As soon as I stepped inside the train, I felt Charlotte running into me, and hugging me tightly.

"Lara, my dear, I didn't expected you to come." Charlotte said softly, after pulling away.

"I can't stay in that house, there are too much memories." I said calmly, and pulled Charlotte into a empty cabin.

"I understand..." She said as we both sat down, and closed the door. "But what about your father?" She asked softly.