Speak For Me - [H.S.]

Chapter 21

I stared down at the bottle in my hand. The label kept screaming at me.

"For paranoia."

Had it really came back to this?

I set the bottle next to me and reached back in to the box. In defeat, I pulled out the other three bottles.

"Bailey Miller- Take one a day for anxiety."

"Bailey Miller- Take two a day for schizophrenia."

"Bailey Miller- Take one a day for depression."

My tears fell faster blurring my vision again. I never wanted to come back to this. But everything I used to feel was coming back. Growing up with all this mess was hard enough. Now it was going to dictate my life again...

I used the back of my hands to wipe the tears away. I took a deep breath before carefully placing everything back in the box. I stacked the newspaper clippings back in order and then the pictures by date. Once everything was back in the box, aside from the pill bottles, I tied the twine back around the box. With one last look, I shoved the box back under the couch, and stood up.

My mood just felt even worse as I looked down at the floor where the four bottles rested.

I hated taking them. It just made me feel like a big screw up with issues. But I knew if I didn't take them, I could only get worse...

I bent down and picked up the bottles in both hands. I walked out of the closet and turned off the light.

I made my way over to my bed and sat down, releasing the bottles.

I gulped as a bead if sweat formed by my brow. I shouldn't be nervous to take these, but I was.

My gaze danced over the bottles. Each very similar in appearance. A orange bottle with the bright white lid. Only the words on the labels and the contents were different.

I reached down with shaky hands and picked up the first one. I removed the lid and dumped two small pale green capsule in my hand. I carefully put the lid back on before putting it back down on the bed. I leaned my head back and popped both in my mouth and swallowed them dry.

Take two for paranoia....

I reached down and opened another bottle. I reached in and pulled out a small white triangle pill. I popped it in to my mouth, as if it were a candy, and swallowed.

Take one a day for anxiety...

My throat now stung and burned from taking the pills dryly but it didn't stop me. I still managed to take the small two yellow pills and the large red gel one.

With all the pills I needed down in my stomach I felt myself start to get slightly dizzy and my eyes start to droop. A side effect to one of the meds.

I lazily placed the bottles in my bed side table's drawer. I wiggled myself under the blankets and laid my head down on the pillow.

Slowly I felt myself drift into a deep sleep with a restless mind...

_______________

Harry's POV:

I had chased Bailey for as long as I could before I lost her. I took a chance on getting in a cab and going back to her place. While I was in the car I had called Liam and informed him of what happened. He called everyone else and we planned to meet back at the building.

After a long drive through the New York traffic, I finally made it the Bailey's building.

I sprinted into the lobby faster than imaginable and headed straight to where we agreed to meet.

Out of breath I stumbled into the huddle of the lads and Carrie.

"Harry!" They all exclaimed as I caught my breath.

"Have...

You... Seen her?" I panted.

Sadly, they all shook there heads no.

"What exactly happened?" Zayn asked.

I gulped and stood up straight, now able to breath.

"We got to the rink, and as soon as she saw she got into this weird phase. She said she was fine but as we walked in she freaked out and wanted to leave. I didn't know exactly what was wrong but I said we could go. Traffic was horrid and I was going to suggest another way but she fell to her knees. I picked her up and made our way over to the subway. She was just crying until we got to the subway where she freaked out. She looked frightened to be honest and then she freaked out even more saying it wasn't just a subway. And then she took off."

Everyone fell silent and let my story sink in. After a while, Louis spoke up.

"We should go up and check to see if she's there."

I nodded and we all started walking over to the lift. Zayn, Louis, and Liam all looked worried like me. While Niall was comforting Carrie who was bawling her eyes out.

I would be too if we weren't in public.

The ride up to the apartment was quiet and tense. I hoped she was there. If she wasn't I would probably freak out even more and snap.

If I caused this... If I caused her to cry...

GOD DAMN IT HARRY!

"Whoa Haz... Calm down."

I looked over at Liam and raised an eyebrow.

"You kind of shouted that, mate," Zayn coughed awkwardly.

I felt my cheeks get red and looked down at my shoes.

The lift stopped and the doors opened. All six of us ran out of there faster than lightening.

Carrie used her key and quickly opened the door to the apartment.

"BAILEY!" I shouted running in.

"BAILEY ARE YOU HERE?"

"Harry... Even if she was here she couldn't shout back."

I froze at Niall's words and felt guilty.

"Look," Carrie stuttered through her tears. "Those are her shoes she was wearing when she left."

I looked at the white lace Toms and let out a breath. She was here.

"Bailey!" I called as I ran towards her room. I gripped her door knob and tried to twist it but it was locked. I sighed and banged my head against the door.

"Look Bailey... I know you can't really respond to me but just listen," I started.

"Let him be," I heard Liam whisper before a lot of foot steps went away.

"I'm really sorry. I don't even know exactly what I did... But I'm sorry. I hated making you cry if I caused you too. I'm just really really really sorry Bailey.... I like you a lot.... And I would love to apologise to you face to face..."

I didn't hear any movement. I sighed and turned around.

"I'm staying right here Bailey," I whispered as I slid down the door. With my back against the door, I pulled up my knees and laid down my head.

"I'm not going anywhere."