Swallowed in the Sea

Feel Something

"So you mentioned that your mother was an addict," Dr. Graves looked down at her notepad before returning her gaze to me, "How would you describe your relationship with her?"

   I shrugged, not entirely feeling at ease, "I don't know...not great I guess."

   Dr. Graves nodded understandingly, "Do you think that she played a role in your addiction?"

"One hundred percent," I snorted, "I could name a dozen types of drugs by the time I was five because of her."

"I'm sensing some resentment towards her which is completely normal," Dr. Graves said, "Would you agree with that?"

   I sighed, "I guess so."

"You guess so..." Dr. Graves repeated and I could tell that she wanted me to continue.

I didn't want to though.

   When Dr. Graves picked up on my reluctance, she backed off, much to my relief. I let out a breath and peeked at the clock on the wall and was thrilled to see that our time was practically up.

"Well, this was a great start," Dr. Graves stole a glance at her watch, "It was nice meeting you Summer."

   I forced a smile on my face, hoping it didn't look too creepy, "It was nice meeting you too."

   Dr. Graves stood up and so I did as well, letting her lead me towards the door. 

"I look forward to our next session," Dr. Graves opened the door and I stepped out of the room.

I couldn't say the same thing.

"Thank you," I dipped my head slightly but kept eye contact, "Have a good day."

"You too, Summer."

   With that, I turned around and headed down the hall, looking for Callie and Arizona who both promised that they would wait.

"How was it?" Arizona asked immediately when she saw me, a big grin spread from ear to ear.

   I made a face, "It's therapy, how is it supposed to be?"

"Good point," Callie agreed and made a disgusted face as well.

"Callie!" Arizona scolded and shot her a glare, "You're not going to make her want to go back next week."

   I chuckled, "I already don't want to go back."

   Arizona narrowed her eyes at Callie, "See..."

"No, no, no, don't worry," I eased their concerns, "I will go back because I told you, I'm going to get better. I just...I'm not so keen on sharing how I feel about every little event in my life to some stranger."

"Fair enough," Arizona nodded, "But seriously, it was that bad?"

   I pursed my lips, trying to figure out a way to say this properly. I didn't want to make them think that I found therapy unbearable but I certainly didn't enjoy it.

"It's toleratable," I finally settled on that word, "I do hope that I'll warm up to it though as time goes on."

"I'll take it," Arizona smiled, "So, what do you feel like doing today to celebrate?"

   I raised my eyebrows, "Celebrate what?"

"Getting through your first therapy session?" Callie stated it as if it were obvious, "Come on, that definitely needs celebrating."

   I shook my head, "It doesn't matter. It's not that big of a deal."

"Yes it is and we are going to do something," Arizona told me, "So how about ice cream?"