𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 | e. ranpo

"I Lost My Boyfriend"

"Wait why do we need Ranpo-san again?", you whisper to Dazai.

"Cause he'll tell us the best course of action.", Dazai whispered back.

"Oh right, he sure got lucky with his gift.", you nod your head, taking a glance at Ranpo.

Dazai let out a small giggle, making Ranpo turn his head to look at the both of you.

"What did I say!?", you jab Dazai in the side.

"Ranpo-san doesn't have an ability. We don't mention it because Ranpo's touchy about it.", Dazai whispered to you.

"Lucky stiff.", you mumble, tugging on your gloves.

"You're really short y/n didja know that?", Dazai said soon after, quite loudly, earning a snicker from Ranpo.

"Do you know where my fist would go if I happened to bang it to the side of me?", you ask Dazai, grinning.

Taking a quick glance down, he quickly nodded his head and pushed Ranpo next to you.

                                   [insert spongebob meme 1 hour later]

"It smells.", you complain, waving your hand in front of your nose, as the three of you near an abandoned apartment complex.

"Not as bad as you do. When was the last time you took a shower?", Dazai laughed, quickly running behind Ranpo, who was hiccupping because of the laughing.

"One day Dazai-kun, one day.", you roll up your sleeves, before rolling them down again.

"Y/n stand here and call my name when I signal you to alright?", Ranpo said, ending it with a hiccup as he pointed to the front of the building.

"Alright.", you say, going and standing to where he pointed.

"Ok good, now me and Dazai-kun will go stand over there out of view, remember yell my name very loudly when I signal you.", Ranpo reminded you, as him and Dazai went and hid behind a building.

Ranpo waved his hand around his face, which you assumed was the sign, so you yelled his name.

"RANPO-SANNNN!", you yelled. Looking back at Ranpo for more directions, he simply slapped his head and went back to hiding.

As you walk towards him, you feel a hand wrap around your arm and pull you back. Without having any time to react, you get thrown into the dark building.

"Do yall just not clean today or are you guys really this disgusting?", you ask, scrunching up your nose.

"Shut up.", was the blatant answer you got, as you were pulled through the building.

"Hey you know this is illegal right? Feminist acts exist!", you scold.

"I don't care about feminist acts.", was the reply, before you were shoved forward into the light.

Squinting your eyes, you look around to see many people standing with their hands folded. You saw jars of what looked like human teeth and toe nails.

"What the hell..", you whisper looking around, before you got kicked forward.

"What were you doing outside this building?", you look up to see a tall man with blonde hair looming over you.

"Ah well uh, I lost my boyfriend!", you say quickly, giving yourself an internal slap in the process.

"Oh yeah? Well why don't you stay with us until then?", the man smiles, throwing you toward the table. You see a girl there, a very young one, cowering behind the table.

You all of a sudden hear something break and fall, and you whip your head to see Ranpo and Dazai standing in front of a broken door.

"Don't worry I came to pick her up!", Ranpo grinned, pointing at you.

Dazai let out a snicker as one of the men came running towards him.

You open your mouth to say something, but quickly close it again as you hear the snap of neck.

"Hand over the girl and you'll be left with your head on!", Ranpo smirked, seeing everyone else in the room look at the body which was lifeless on the floor.

"And if I decline?", the blonde haired man asked, with an obvious stutter in his voice.

Ranpo glanced at you, grinning. You grin back and slip off your gloves, touching the table next to you, which fell into dust.

Everyone took a step back, before you stood up and started running towards the blonde man.

Holding his hands out to stop you, your fingertips grazed his palm, turning him into dust.

"Or that happens.", you grin, slipping the glove back one.

          About 2 hours later because lord bless me I can't write fight scenes :')

"They could've just handed her over, ego really is a sad thing.", you sigh, clutching the hand of the little girl.

"Well this wouldn't have happened if they didn't have so much ego to begin with!", Dazai pointed out.

"Well that's true.", you agree, picking up the girl and putting her on your shoulders instead.

Dazai was somewhat distanced away, he had already expressed that he didn't quite have a sweet spot for kids. Ranpo on the other hand was fishing out all the candy he could find in his pockets and handing them to her.

"Are you sure your alright by the way?", you ask the girl again, making sure they hadn't done anything to her.

"I'm fine thank you.", she quietly whispered.

"Your parents should be waiting by the police station.", Ranpo said, handing her another candy.

When she shook her head and pushed the candy back, he shrugged and handed you the candy instead.

"This candy tastes weird.", you say, the flavor of the candy feeling faded.

"I got it from the convenience store only 5 months ago!", Ranpo exclaimed.

"5 MONTHS AGO!?", you spit out the candy.

"Do you not like it?", Ranpo asked, earning giggles from both the girl and Dazai.

"Never mind.", you sigh.

 As the four of you reach the police station, you put the girl down and wait for her parents.

A women and man who looked so tired, with deep circles under their eyes, exit the police station a few moments later. The girl quickly lets go of your hand and runs toward them. The parents start crying and kneeling down hugging her. Turning around for a second in the midst of the reunion, the girl mouths a small thank you, before pushing her face into her dad's arms.

"That was satisfying!", you grin, as you, Ranpo, and Dazai walk back to the agency.

"For your first case not that bad y/n-san!", Dazai said.

"It was harder than I thought it would be.", you say, rubbing your arm which had been held by one of the goons.

"Say y/n-san was this your incredible thinking that led you to tell them that you had lost your boyfriend? Was that really all you could come up with?", Dazai asked, wiggling his fingers.

"My incredible thinking is also signaling me to punch someone in the gut.", you say, before running after Dazai.

Ranpo quietly walked behind the both of you, his cheeks quickly turning redder every time he thought about what had Dazai said.

a/n: YALL ISTFG IM SO SORRY PLSPLS I DONT EVEN HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE BUT YALL PLS FORGIVE ME  🙏🙏 ill try and update every week, TYSM FOR 300+ READS BTW YALL R AMAZING ILYA STAY SAFE HAVE A GREAT REST OF UR DAY BYBEY LY!!