1 5 | d i s a p p o i n t m e n t

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• f a a r i s •

While Noor took a shower, I ordered a pizza and changed out of the heavy outfit. I wanted to take a shower but I didn't have enough energy left. Pakistani weddings are an extreme sport; especially if it's yours. Each and every relative consider it their legal duty to interrogate the groom and ask some very personal and mind if I say, very disturbing questions.

Once I was in a comfortable T-Shirt and trouser, I collapsed on one side of the bed and stared at the bathroom door. Few hours ago, I was a single man. Now, I was married. Many things had changed in just a span of few hours and there was nothing I could do other than being a silent observer.

Being raised in US, I had always been comfortable around girls but this will be my first time sharing a room with one. The thought of sleeping on the same bed with her, it was enough to make me sweat in agitation. I didn't want to do anything to make her uncomfortable but what if I end up scooting towards her in sleep? Or worse, what if I hit her with my foot or something?

The delivery guy returned with the pizza after thirty minutes but there was still no sign of Noor. Placing the box in the middle of the bed, I preferred waiting for her so I won't appear rude.

After ten more minutes of waiting, the door knob finally untwisted and she walked out. I kept my eyes on my mobile screen to avoid looking at her and I even succeeded at it for a minute but at the end, my eyes finally gave up and darted to her.

She was standing in front of the mirror, slowly running her fingers through her long, wet hair. She had changed into a plain white Shalwar Kameez that gave a subtle hint of her curves. Her face was devoid of any makeup now and the youthful freshness of her skin added to her beauty.

I tried my best not to stare at her any longer. Instead, I opened the box and picked up a slice of pizza, all the while keeping my eyes on the wall in front of me. After a long moment, I felt the bed dip beside me and her feminine scent tickled my nostrils.

I watched her from the corner of my eyes as she shifted on the bed uncomfortably and picked up a slice.

What should we talk about? Food? The wedding? Politics?

Should I ask about her likes and dislikes?

Oh God! Talking to a female was never this hard.

"Um... Noor," I called her name to address her.

She turned to me with a jerk and a pained expression coated her face. I knew what was going on inside her head and it saddened me to imagime myself in her place, being married to the brother of the love of your life. My heart melted at her situation and I scooted closer to comfort her.

"No." She scooted away. "I... I can't. Please."

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"I can't do this, Faaris. I can't--- I can't consummate our marriage right now."

Different emotions swirled through me on hearing this; sadness, guilt, disappointment. But the one that clouded the rest was anger; whether it was directed at her or myself, I have no freaking clue.

"Do you think I'll force you to sleep with me?" I asked with audible bitterness in my voice.

Her big brown eyes widened as she tried to find a proper answer. "I thought---"

"What did you think? That I'm some sort of monster?" I glared at her. I knew she didn't have the highest of opinions for me but I didn't think she thought that low of me.

"So you didn't want to---"

"Of course not, for God's sake." I groaned.

Jumping off the bed, I picked up my pillow and blanket in my hands without giving her another glance.

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