Traitor: A Draco Malfoy Story

thirty-four

The tears mixed with my makeup and painted jagged lines down my face as I cried. 

I had wrapped myself in a blanket, not bothering to put on a shirt. I lay on my bed curled in a ball, contemplating whether or not I should go back to the party.

It didn't mean anything.

Fuck him. And fuck any sort of feelings I had about Malfoy. I'd never utter the word "Draco" again. But even in my anger, I couldn't keep the tiny voice in the back of my head from reminding me that I deserved this.

I wiped my makeup off with a wipe and started again, knowing full well that trying to salvage what had been left would have taken forever. I tugged on a busty leather tank top and a short, tight, black miniskirt that clung to my hips and showed my curves. The outfit greatly improved my mood. 

As soon as I opened the dorm door, the smell of alcohol and the thumping of music greeted me. Time to find my friend.

I didn't pay attention to Parkinson in Malfoy's lap as he and his friends sat on the couch, laughing. I didn't notice the disgusting way she curled into him. I didn't see the—

"Zaylie, where have you been? You left me alone!" Jenna came up to interrupt my thoughts, obviously wasted. "Ooh, wardrobe change! I like it, it's sexy."

"Thanks," I tried to force a smile. "I gotta get a drink if I'm gonna stay here."

I walked back past Malfoy's group and made eye contact with Theo. He rushed to finish what was left in his cup before pushing himself off the couch and coming to join me on my quest for booze.

"You saw me this time," I smirked.

"How could I miss it?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck. "You changed clothes."

"I needed a confidence booster." I shrugged.

"It's boosting more than confidence," he breathed, and the innuendo made me laugh.

"Come on, Theo. I'm not drunk enough for this, and we're gonna fix it."

Theo and I talked and drank for hours until we were slurring our words, watching most everyone wander off to bed. He'd asked me about everything from life in America to Hogwarts gossip, and I tried to answer to the best of my ability without being open about what I was.

We stumbled up the stairs together around 3 a.m. and we said goodnight, giggling. I fell onto my bed with a wumph over the covers and knocked out almost immediately.

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I groggily opened my eyes the next morning smelling of stale alcohol and sweat. My head was pounding and I said a silent prayer of thanks for the small windows keeping it dark in the room. I knew any amount of light would be too much. I took a hot shower, letting the water splash on my head and trickle down my back. I took two Advil after I dried off and felt a tiny bit better, though I still had a headache. I didn't usually get bad hangovers, but I drank more than my fair share with Theo, and the sugary punch mixture had taken its toll.

It wasn't just physically that I felt awful. Now that I was sober and alone, the crushing experience of Malfoy's intoxicating touch and then my heart being ripped out of my chest was almost more than I could bear. I hated myself for feeling as heartbroken as I was and wished I could continue to push my feelings for him down. He was cruel, and I knew that. He always had been. He enjoyed making my life hell but yet, there were times when I thought we were so alike that he was the only one to truly understand me. The only one who could truly care for me. My breaths grew shallower. I was in desperate need of fresh air. I took the long way to breakfast, getting myself used to brighter lights.