She's blaming herself again. I have to do something to help her.
I move to her side, kneeling down in front of her.
"I know Faith. I know it doesn't feel that way, but it is. You can't blame yourself, whether it's in this reality or any other. You always do the right thing in the end. Maybe it takes you longer sometimes, but you do get there."
She takes a deep breath and I know she's not totally on board with what I said.
But wait... this doesn't make any sense.
I look up at Cordy.
"If we learned to forgive each other and live with what happened, how could I have screwed things up? What made me decide to change things?"
"Well... you didn't do it intentionally, like I said. But I can show you."
I hold my hand up for Cordy and take Faith's in mine.
"Will it work this way too?"
Cordy's hand takes mine and the vision happens again.
"Gimme another..."
They hold out the partially broken glass to the bartender and he pours her another straight whisky. As soon as he's done, she brings the glass to her lips and starts gulping it down as quickly as she can. It isn't long before she finishes it and she puts the drink down on the table a little softer this time.
"Could I get another please?"
The bartender eyes her suspiciously for a second.
"That's four already in a row. You've only been here a couple minutes."
"Just one more, I promise. Then I'll start taking it slower."
He eyes her for another moment before tipping the bottle of whisky towards her glass. She holds it out for him and pours her a fifth drink. When the glass is full enough, she brings it to her lips again and gulps it down the way she's done the other four.
"Thanks... could I get something a little less alcohol-y?"
"Sure, I'll be right back."
Things change but it feels like the same place.
"It's different... she's just got engaged."
"And she didn't like your counter offer?"
She lets the ring drop and it hangs off her chain again.
"I never made one."
Her companion gives her a confused look at the statement.
"Why not? If you're as destined for each other as you claim, shouldn't she drop everything for you in a heartbeat like before?"
"Not this time."
Her companion doesn't say anything right away.
"Why not?"
"Because then I'd be ruining her chance at actually being happy. And more than anything I want her to be happy."
"She can't be happy with you?"
"I used to think so... but after all the attempts we made to be happy together over the years, even after the worst of it... We kinda gave up trying."
"And that's when she met her new fiancée?"
She takes a deep breath and a drink of her beer.
"Pretty much..."
"I take it you're not much of a fan of the newlywed to be's other half?"
She looks over at her companion.
"Actually, she's great."
They lean into each other and all I can really do is watch from behind the door as they kiss with a passion that I've only ever seen her kiss me with before. The sudden urge to rip open the door overwhelms me and I rush out onto the porch to confront them. They pull apart as they notice me.
"Hey, what are you..."
My fist hits the one she was kissing's face and that sends her tumbling down off the porch onto the front lawn.
"I can't say that we got off to the best start really. But I got over it. She's actually a good person once you get to know her. Not that we're best friends or anything, but she doesn't have any ulterior motives and she actually loves her a lot."
"I guess they wouldn't be getting married if they didn't care about each other a lot."
"Nope..."
She takes a long deep breath before drinking almost the rest of the beer in her glass.
"God I need another drink."
The young woman attempts to flag down the bartender as quickly as possible.
Things shift again.
"She didn't have to. She showed up at my doorstep like always when we're not staying together. But instead of us being together like we always are around the anniversary, she tells me that she can't because she's getting married and wants to be faithful."
Buffy laughs a little as she takes another drink.
"When has that ever mattered to her before? With all the times we've been together in the last ten years since she died, it never happened before. We've both dated all sorts of people since it happened. But every year at this time we'd get together and remind each other what we really meant to each other."
Buffy takes another long drink and finishes half the beer in her hand.
"Who we were really meant to be with. Sometimes we'd get back together because of it. Sometimes we'd go back to whoever we were with at the time. Most of the time we'd at least break up with whoever we were dating. But ever since she met..."
Buffy's shoulder's slump a little bit and she stares down at the bar as she fights back the urge to cry.
"She's been different. She hasn't been the same since they got together. Something changed between us. And ever since I feel like..."
"What?"
"Sometimes I wish we'd never been together."
"Done..."
Buffy looks over at her companion and her eyes go wide as the random woman's face turns old and vein-y like a vengeance demon and there's a flash of light around them, granting the wish.
I pull my hand away from Cordy and put some distance between me and Faith.
What the hell did I just do?
"A vengeance demon? I... I talked to a vengeance demon?"
I changed the whole world because I talked to a vengeance demon about Faith. How could I do that?
Looking up at Faith, I can't help but feel guilty as she looks back.
I couldn't handle the fact that Faith was moving on and trying to be happy and that destroyed the world. I destroyed this world by letting Dawn change it and worse I created the world that made Dawn do it. This is so much worse than I thought.
"I'm sorry."
She doesn't say anything to that.
I don't know what else to say.
Faith just stares at me for a while.
"It's all my fault. Everything that's happened is my fault. If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be here right now. Dawn wouldn't be dead and the apocalypse is happening... again. All because of me. I destroyed the world because I was jealous of your happiness."
I look away as she gets a hurt look on her face.
"I'm worse than the monsters I destroy. Dawn might have been wrong, but at least she was honest about who she was. She knew she was a monster and she owned it. She understood how terrible I could be. How terrible we all could be. The lies we told each other, and ourselves, just to be able to live with the things we did. She could see it all. And we killed her for it."
Cordy crouches down to be at eye level with both of us.
"No,you're not. You're just human. I remember what that was like. Humans make mistakes, and they do the wrong thing. That doesn't mean you're a monster. They don't feel what you're feeling right now. A monster doesn't feel guilty for hurting people. That's what makes you different. And it's why I think we still have a chance."
A chance?
Faith gets to the question before I can.
"A chance for what exactly?"
"To save everyone."
Well that's not ominous.
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