I watch Faith reach out and touch Dawn's face as she lies on the table.
I'm sorry that I failed you. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you from the path you were going down. I'm sorry that I didn't see that you were going down that path. That I didn't see the bad path at all. I failed you so completely that I don't know that I can live with what I've done. You were hurting a lot more than I understood and I couldn't see it. I let my ideas about who you were and what you can handle override what was really going on. And it cost you your life.
Maybe I could've done more to protect you. Maybe I could've gotten involved and found a way to save you. But after how hurt you were when I brought in Faith to keep an eye on you and things went downhill with that when you developed feelings for her. I couldn't handle the idea of doing that to you again. So I backed off and that probably destroyed you more than anything. I know you made your own choices and not all of them were good. That was your choice. But I made my own choices too, and a lot of them weren't good, for either of us.
Mom would be so disappointed in me for doing this to you. For allowing this to happen to you. She'd be so angry with me. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to save you from yourself. I promised Mom that I would save you and be the best parent I could be. And I failed on so many levels. The fact that you are lying here now on this table, dead, is proof of that. If I hadn't failed, you would be alive right now and coming to terms with what you've done.
At least if you were alive, there'd be a chance that you could eventually be happy. You could learn to live with how badly you screwed things up and what you did to try and fix it. You could be happy again one day. You could find love again maybe, whether it's with Faith or someone else. You and I could get back the relationship we had before things started going wrong. We could be sisters again. If you were still around, those are things you could eventually get to. But there's no chance of any of that now.
No chance of any kind of happiness now. For you and I don't think I could ever really be happy after what's happened. I'm not sure I can live knowing how badly I destroyed things.
"So... what are you going to do?"
Pretty much all of us look at Willow as she asks.
Do?
"What do you mean?"
It takes her a second to explain.
"I mean... what do we do with Dawn's... with Dawn? We can't just... leave her alone. She's too dangerous."
Faith gets there before I do.
"She's dead Willow. She's not a threat to anyone."
"I know but..."
She doesn't finish the thought.
Wait... is she...
"Willow's right."
Connor gets the same treatment as Willow, our focus shifting.
"Her body is too dangerous to be buried. There are too many demons and other evil forces who could use her to their advantage. We need to destroy her."
That's...
"We can't destroy her."
Angel pushes back on me saying that.
"We have to. There's no telling what they could do. I don't even want to think about what Wolfram and Hart would do with her."
But...
"She's my sister."
"And the woman I love."
Giles jumps in.
"Even with her death, we have to consider the broader implications of what might occur if we buried her."
"I can't just... she deserves to be at peace now."
Anya speaks up.
"Assuming she's allowed, anyway."
We all look at her.
That can't be...
"Of course she deserves it. Why wouldn't she?"
"Well... I mean, she did remake the world and turn everyone into her little playthings. I only did parts of that sometimes and I don't think I'm getting peace when I die... again apparently."
None of us really responds to that.
She's not exactly wrong.
"I'm just saying, Dawn might not be at peace. So if that's what you're worried about? Maybe you shouldn't."
I look over at Faith and she's looking back, obviously hurt.
She knows as well as I do that Anya might be right. It's killing her to think about but we both know there's a chance.
A long silence follows between all of us.
"So... what do we do? How do we...?"
"B, you're not actually talking about..."
"They're right Faith. We have to think about the greater good. How it would hurt the world to just leave her body for anyone to use? Would we want that? To have some evil thing use her in some evil scheme?"
It takes her a second to respond. She looks down at Dawn's face, staring deeply at her.
This is tearing her up inside. I get it.
"We'll find some way to honour her. I promise."
Another long silence from her before she finally looks up at me.
"So what do we do with her?"
"Before you go there..."
Is that...
I turn and everyone else does to see Cordy standing back from us. She waves at us in the way she does.
I never know if that's supposed to be a hello or an insult. Probably doesn't matter much though.
"Sorry... I wanted to give you all a chance to grieve and figure things out, but then I heard where this was going. I had to step in."
She heard?
"How did you hear exactly?"
"The short version? Being here allows me to be omnipresent, in case of this very situation."
What situation?
"Which situation is that?"
"The one where you decide what to do with Dawn. It's kinda important to what I'm here for that you don't do anything with her just yet."
"Why?"
"Because after I answer your questions, I have one for you, and it doesn't work if you do anything to Dawn's body before we get to the end."
Faith seems kinda hopeful at that.
"Can you bring her back for us?"
Cordy looks at Faith for a while.
"Sorry sweetie, but no."
"Then what the hell is the question?"
"I can't tell you until we get to the end. It's kind've a context dependent thing. Asking you now wouldn't work, but if you do anything with Dawn, then I can't answer your questions and you can't answer mine."
What is so important about these questions?
"What kind of questions are we supposed to ask?"
"Like the ones you and Faith were asking each other before you came in here."
Faith and I look at each other.
She knew what we were talking about?
"Sorry, it's kinda the downside of omnipresence. You're literally everywhere at once. I couldn't help but overhear."
She takes a deep breath.
"I can tell you why you feel drawn to each other the way you do."
Cordy turns to the rest of my friends and family.
"And I can tell you what Dawn did to all of you while she had control over everything and everyone... if you want to know that is. All you have to do is ask, but I can't promise that you will like the answers. Only that whatever I tell you will be the truth."
She turns back to focusing on me and Faith.
"But I can't do any of that if you go forward with any plans for Dawn's body. So I'm asking you nicely, not to do anything until you know the whole story and have all the answers."
The whole story?
"What do you mean by 'the whole story'?"
She smiles at me.
"And that's part of the first answer, but... you're going to have to deal with that first."
That?
Suddenly, I see something move out of the corner of my eye and I turn to see Pike stumble away from where he was standing, grabbing his head in pain.
"Ow! Oh... ow! What the..."
Faith and I rush towards him as he loses his balance and falls over.
"Pike? Are you okay Pike?"
"I... I'm not sure I... OW!"
He starts to shake like he's having a seizure or something.
Is he okay? What's wrong?
"Oh, god..."
Cordy speaks up at that.
"More like hell god... or at least, close enough."
What?
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