Simmer & Stir

Chapter 31

I wouldn't call myself a volatile person but I was very irrational when it came to burning off my relationship with Philip. My decision to end things with him before knowing his side was unfair.

As I drove back to LA, I couldn't help contemplate the scenario had Philip divulged the truth about my parents beforehand.

Upon entering the city, my shuffled mind sprang back to the memories of the first time I came here with John and Sasha for my interview. Everything good happened from that day - landing the job, making friends with Lily and Steve but most of all, meeting Philip again.

The blaring traffic, hot, blazing sun and the long wait on the jam-packed highway, all drove me to reevaluate my decision.

My parents, even with their interference in my relationship, suffered much less than they anticipated. Though I blew off my lip upon realizing what they did, I couldn't stay mad at them for long.

But Philip - he suffered in silence while I took an axe of harsh decision making and severed our ties.

If only I gave him a chance to explain.

After an hour's drive, I reached home. I dragged my belongings from the back seat and rushed towards the shade and comfort of my apartment.

Every unproductive second - whether it was waiting for the elevator, staring at its interior while the machine pulled me up to my apartment or even getting inside and plunging onto Linda's death-trap couch - all were spent trying to contact Philip.

His voicemails were full. So the plan to send heartfelt apologies, paras one to hundred, failed. I tried dropping him texts too but all of them bounced.

Failure after failure made the comfort of the apartment turn haunting. It trailed a maddening thought in my mind.

Did something bad happen to Philip?

An idle mind being a devil's workshop, proved to be an understatement.

Every bounced message drew the image of Philip being water boarded in my mind. Every failed voicemail made me believe he was injured in some accident somewhere.

I wouldn't try taking credit for my vivid, gory, imagination. It was a steak I imbibed from my mother. As I child, whenever I reached home late from school, she would conjure up the worst-case scenarios ranging from kidnapped to organ trading.

I assumed, as a mother she might have had imagined even worse scenarios. She never divulged them to me.

As the silence of the house hammered inside my head, my thoughts riveted between worse and worst screenplays, all starring Philip.

I was officially supposed to join the restaurant only tomorrow. When my humble abode acted like a land-based Kraken, attacking my sanity from all sides, I decided to take refuge in the familiarity of my restaurant kitchen.

Philip still had a week left before he joined Quantico.

A part of me was worried. Scared that Philip wouldn't forgive me when I asked for forgiveness. I hurt him when he tried to tell me the truth. I refrained from contacting him even after knowing the truth - hoping to meet him face to face and beg for forgiveness.

In the light of newfound doubts, I realized Philip had genuine reasons to stay away from me, not mend our relationship. With a family of meddling parents and a girlfriend who jumped on conclusions faster than a rocket launcher, Philip might find this breakup to be a boon sent from heaven.

Cynicism was my longtime companion, often visiting me while I was at my lowest.

As I steered into the restaurant's parking lot, my mind conjured up newer scenarios. The changes of Philip rejecting my apology and moving away to find finding someone worth millions, both in the looks and intelligence department at Quantico was high.