did you mean it? // dreamnotfound

chapter sixteen

song suggested: sad playlist besties :(

    "George?"

The brunette couldn't tell whos voice it was, but it definitely wasn't Clay's. That's the only person he would rather not be in there with him.

"Hm?" George hummed in response.

"Dude, are you good?" The voice asked.

George didn't even know who he was talking to, but he could care less. He wasn't okay. He was far from okay.

"No," George replied, choking back to many tears. "Who is it though?"

"It's Sapnap."

George had never really had an actual conversation with Sapnap before, but he seemed like a genuine person. He knew he could trust Sapnap, but didn't know if he would tell him what he was feeling or not. George also didn't want to put everything onto someone he barely even knows. He didn't want to seem rude, or even needy.

"Why'd you come?" George asked. It came off sort of rude, but he didn't mean it. Sapnap understood anyways. His best friend was a total jerk to someone he claimed he had feelings for.

"I may be Clay's best friend, but that was a total jerk move he pulled and i wanted to make sure you're alright." Sapnap spoke softly. "Also, one question."

"Go ahead," George replied.

"Are y'all dating? He told me he had feelings before but never mentioned being boyfriends or anything, so i didn't know." Sapnap replied.

George's heart broke for a second time.

    They were dating. It had sort of left his mind, but it hit him right then and there. He decided to open up the door to answer his question. It'd be better to do it face to face. George hadn't even realized that tears were streaming down his face until Sapnap pulled him into a hug.

"Should i take that as a yes?" The other brunette asked.

George nodded as he began to sob harder into Sapnap's shirt.

"I'm sorry dude. I dont know what's up with Clay." Sapnap said. "I mean, he's always been a jerk, but only to people he could care less about. He really has feelings for you, i promise. Clearly he's just an idiot and i guess is ashamed to have you as a boyfriend. Or even be associated with you. I dont know why though, you seem pretty cool to me."

Sapnap's kind words had brightened George's mood a little bit, but not enough to stop the tears from rolling. Eventually they stopped and George pulled away.

"I'm sorry," George apologized. There was a damp spot on Sapnap's shirt from where George was crying.

"Don't worry about it," Sapnap answered. He could care less. He didn't even like the shirt, all of his clothes were just dirty.

The two stood in a comfortable silence for just having a conversation with each other for the first time, but someone eventually broke it.

"I don't know what Clay is on, but i don't want it. His ego is clearly way to big right now and i'm going to lower it. He needs it." Sapnap spoke with a little bit of anger in his voice. "I'll talk to him later. I promise he has feelings for you George. He cares about you a lot. He just needs to stop being a jerk."

George nodded. If he tried to talk, the tears would start coming again. Sapnap walked out of the bathroom and George made his way to the mirror. He tried to rub his eyes, or do anything to try and make him seem more happy. It didn't work. He eventually gave up and grabbed his things. There was only about 30 minutes left in first period. Time had gone by a lot slower than it seemed.

As the boy made his way into his class, everyone stared. I mean, who wouldn't. The poor boy looked like someone had taken his heart and made it go through complete hell. Well, someone kind of did i guess.

Clay's eyes eventually looked away from his paper and made their way to where everyone else's attention was. His eyes widened. George was there, and he looked awful. Clay always messed up, and he didn't know why. He had always treated other people like this, but he never cared about them. However, he actually cared about George this time.

Some snickered as George made his way to his seat. The few knew that George was the boy in the video and had heard what happened in the hall before the bell rang.

Somehow, he teacher didn't see George walk in. George could have cared less, he wanted to go home. Not get a lecture about being late.

The day flew by. George didn't know how, since sucky days usually went by terribly slow. He wasn't complaining though. During lunch, George went to the back of the school to eat. He was tired of the weird glares. It made everything so much worse.

Multiple texts were popping up on George's phone. It was Karl and Alex. Both knew that George probably wanted space, but they just wanted to make sure that their best friend was okay. Even though it was lunch, George didn't eat. For one, he didn't go to the cafeteria to pick up food, and two, he didn't have an appetite. He'd been crying all day.

George heard footsteps in the grass. He grabbed his phone and looked down as he pretended to be doing something. Eventually, the noise stopped, but someone had sat down beside him. George hopped it wasn't who he thought it was.

    "Hey," A soft voice said.

    It was Clay.

Out of everyone it could have been, it was the person George didn't want to see. I know, it sounds 'great' not wanting to see the person who you're literally dating.

"What," George replied. It was almost to quiet for Clay to hear.

"Georgie," Clay spoke. He cut himself off for a second before continuing. "I'm sorry, i don't know what has gotten into me i-."

"Save it Clay," George spoke.

Clay could hear so many emotions in the smaller boy's voice. It was anger, sadness, negativity. He knew he screwed up again.

    badly.

"You always apologize. Do you ever really mean it, or do you do this to everyone else in your life. Am i even something to you? It really doesn't seem anything like it. I'm so close to believing what you told me that one day. That i mean absolutely nothing to you, and that i should just get the hint that you don't care about me. Look Clay, i know you're my boyfriend now, but it really doesn't seem like it." George spoke. He continued to get louder each breathe as emotions took over him.

    The two sat in an awkward silence.

    "Clay," the boy spoke.

    "I love you, but i don't think you really care about me."