𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐄. || 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐎 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄. || 𝐌𝐀

[ Good luck. :) I'll write Ranboo fluff soon; I just feel the urge to hurt people with Mia. TW // THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES PANIC ATTACKS, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND MENTIONS OF ABANDONMENT.]

Mia had seemed off all day, her messages seeming distant, and when she'd see me, she'd smile and wave but rush away quickly. I've tried talking to her, but I don't push myself into her life. I'm distraught for her; she seemed like she's hurting to a limited extent, her eyelids always appearing moistened with tears, her cheeks red, and she's still wiping her nose with a tissue and sniffling. Maybe she's sick? It isn't like Mia to avoid others, so perhaps she doesn't want to make anyone sick.

All I knew was that I had to check on her; she was going to keep avoiding me if I didn't take matters into my own hands and make sure she was alright, even if it might risk her being upset with me. I'm worried for her. I always push how she feels to the side without meaning to. After I reconnected with Ranboo, I've had so many opportunities, so many streaming offers, but I haven't been able to help Mia who's smile always faded when I told her I had to stream that day.

♡︎
{𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊}
♡︎

I had a stream today; I was finally going to live my dream of being a Twitch streamer, getting about 5k views per stream because of the group I was with. I was one in a million to have this happen to them; honestly, it overjoyed me. I had the girl, the games, the friends; I had everything I could ever ask for.

Mia lightly knocked on the door, causing me to turn around and smile at her. She waved happily and smiled brightly, laughing at my surprised expression. "Hey!" he was wearing a fluffy jacket with a skirt and a button-up, tights on beneath the dress with her shoes off. Her glasses were on, and her earrings were pink hearts to fit her outfit; she looked like a dream come true. I stood up and walked over to her, hugging her tight and sighing softly, moving hair from her face as she looked up at me curiously.

"I got you this!" she suddenly blurts out, obviously nervous. She handed me a box that was in her hands, making me jump in surprise. I tilted my head and smiled curiously. "Why's that?" I hummed, raising a brow. Her smile faltered the slightest bit, but she took a deep breath. "Oh, no, it's nothing! Just wanted to appreciate you!" she nodded slightly, looking at her feet and sighing. I chuckled and sat in my gaming chair, opening the box and spotting one of her hoodies, merchandise from my favorite streamers - including limited edition signed Youtooz from a few of my favorite streamers. All of the hoodies smelled like her, some of her subtle and sweet perfume in the box.

"Just in case you can't make it over, some stuff for you to keep of mine! Of course and some special items I paid a fortune to get ahold of," she laughed nervously, looking at me expectantly. I smiled and thanked her, her smile falling slightly as she sighed and nodded.

"Hey, Mia," I started, her smile quickly returning and excitement coming onto her face. She nodded, rocking on the ball of her feet. "I have a stream today; care to join?" I smiled, her sparkle in her eyes falling. She shakes her head and puts her hands on the sides of her skirt, fixing it anxiously. "No, no... I'm okay! I hope you have fun!" she nods, kissing my cheek and quickly rushing out of the room. I tilt my head in confusion, frowning slightly.

Little did I know, that day was the day that changed everything.

The day I forgot our anniversary.

Mia didn't want anything; she didn't want any significant gifts. She didn't want anything that was worth tons of money. She bought us tickets to an amusement park and said she'd buy us ice cream, that she only wanted to spend the day with me.

And I forgot. I forgot our plans we made weeks beforehand.

Like how I forgot her birthday and told her I couldn't talk because I was streaming. No matter what, she always showed up to my streams. She still donated and told me to drink water, always taking care of me even if she wasn't there. I never did the same for her.

I took advantage of her kindness.

♡︎
{𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄}
♡︎

I walked into her grandma's house with permission, heading into the kitchen and grabbing water. Her grandpa greeted me, and I smiled and waved back, heading over to Mia's bedroom door, knocking and hearing no answer. I knocked once more, frowning at the faint sound of heavy breathing. I tried to open the door, the doorknob not budging. "Hey, Mia, it's me! (Y/N)! Can I come in?" I said softly at the door, trying the handle again. Nothing.

I heard faint sobbing coming from the room in question, my heart aching at the sound. I was about to ask her grandpa if she was okay, but I heard the door lock click. I tried the door again, opening the door slowly and spotting Mia sat on the floor in a corner with a stuffed bear I got her and my hoodie on it. She was hugging it close, her face completely red, and her breathing staggered and broken. She looked like she was going to pass out, only starting to sob for a moment before her body shut down and she couldn't anymore. She looked terrified, gripping the stuffed animal like hell. Her phone was next to her; I saw a long paragraph from her ready to send to me.

I rushed over, bending down in front of her. I was about to yell for her grandma, but Mia grabbed my arm and shook her head quickly, bawling and looking at me with pleading eyes. She didn't want her grandparents to know.

I sighed, thinking for a moment before nodding and then looking at her phone. In the sending section, an enormous paragraph contained countless apologies for expecting so much from me—expecting me to be there sometimes, disappearing off the radar, and soon leading to a confession of suicidal thoughts and fear of herself. She locked herself in her room, afraid of someone seeing her like this. Mia immediately grabbed me, hugging me as tight as possible and choking on her cries, her body shaking like crazy. I quickly hugged her back, holding the back of her head. I promptly grabbed the stuffed animal and took the hoodie off it, about to put it on her, but she was already wearing one of my shirts, shaking like crazy and mumbling countless apologies.

That was the day I thought I was going to lose her.

-

After Mia had calmed down, she seemed emotionally out of it. I managed to tell her grandparents, who thanked me, explaining that they assumed it was because she was afraid I was starting to abandon her as her parents did. She refused to eat for a few days but finally was able to stomach soup. I had to help her get out of bed and do basic human things. She couldn't bring herself to a safe and calm spot, so I stopped streaming for a while. I had to be with her.

I started finding her a therapist, paying for her therapy, and going with her to her sessions, her old self slowly returning. She'd panic when I went to leave to do small things, and I'd usually find her in her bed in the corner, hugging her bear and half asleep in my clothes.

It needed work, but she'll be back to normal soon.

I hope.