Find Myself

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I opened the door to hopefully a corridor but was met with something much different, it was like a doorway through time. "I think I remember this vaguely" I said anxiously picking at my thumbs. "You don't have to go through with this If you don't want to, you can still just wait for the others to come back and wake you up" he placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile. "It's fine besides, if I say no I'd be giving in to that program, I'm going to do this for me" I had the look of determination plastered on my face as I took the first step into this new memory, it was warm, warmer than that bedroom from before.

I took a deep breath, the air was salty and somehow still fresh. I felt myself sink slightly in the ground as I walked, Yuka hot on my trail. "Is this a beach?" He mumbled seemingly remembering something also. "Yeah, it is, what does this have to do with anything?" I asked looking around, in the distance was two figures, they were holding hands and running into the water. "Who are they?" I asked, I was still a little too nervous to move, what if I found something I wasn't looking for? What if that thing was something I didn't want to remember...

Yuka seemed to notice how uncomfortable I was and slid his fingers between my own. "Hey, it'll be alright" I looked up at him and smiled relaxing a little and holding his hand back. "Now let's go see what's going on" I let out a small breath of relief and nodded leading him towards the two. As we got closer I noticed the little things that we walked by, some towels on the floor, and a parasol stuck in the sand inbetween them. The water was crystal clear and cold, I was walking in it but my boots weren't getting wet, I could feel the cold water contrast the warm air and it made me shiver a little.

The scene infront of us both now was beautiful, a clear sky with the bright sun casting long shadows in the sand as a soft orange hue hung over the sky blanketing a reflection of colour onto the water below. Infront of me stood myself, and Yuka. We were both in swimsuits, we were both covered in seawater but we held eachother and laughed, I felt the memory come back to me. "Our one year anniversary" I mumbled tightening my grip on his hand slightly. "I remember this too, we'd come here because you wanted to have a picnic" he chuckled. I stood in the water for a while not once letting go of him as I looked at our silhouettes in the water, so calm, I'd always appreciated the calm moments I'd spent with him.

"What should we do to move the memory on?" I asked, as much as I'd love to remember this forever there was other things I needed to find. "I don't know, but I think maybe we should find another door" he sighed deeply and held me just like he did back then. Holding my head in one hand and my waist in the other. I smiled wrapping my hands around his waist and resting against him. As we relaxed into the moment I saw the other versions of ourselves fade into nothing as the scene did aswel. Softly everything faded till nothing was left. "I think we found out what we had to do there" I mumbled.

He hummed in response as we swayed gently from side to side. This was so nice, no masks to worry about, the real world wasn't a problem, neither was the old world we lived in, it was just us, alone in the dark it was nice. "I missed this" I mumbled smiling softly as we swayed. I heard him chuckle. "I did too, I guess in a way... I'm glad we came to this world" I nodded into his chest. "Same here, it's horrible but I'm glad I get to spend all this new time with you" I saw a few memories of him an I flash past, watching movies together, we visited the zoo, went bowling, all pretty cheesy dates but it was nice to see them like this, all fresh in my mind like they just happened again.

"I think I remember all our dates Yu" I spoke looking up at him. "You do? I'm starting to remember a few more, once we wake up again tell me about them ok" we smiled at eachother and I nodded, I'd enjoy ranting about all the moments we shared, just thinking about them gave me butterflies, let alone talking about them out loud. "Let's move on" I said hushed to preserve the peace. He nodded back taking my hand again and following as I walked aimlessly in one direction, everything was black, pitch black, but I seemed to know where we were going anyway.

In the distance a small red door took shape, it was carved and had an open padlock hooked onto it. The door was slightly ajar and a soft yellow light seeped through from a light inside. As we got closer I noticed hushed voices inside.

"How are we going to tell her?"
"Well just rip off the bandaid it's going to be fine"
"But you know how she is about guys, she's gonna rip you to pieces"
"I don't care, look I don't want to have to do this either but she's going to find out one way or another"
"Yu..."
"It's going to be alright y/n"

I didn't want to look in that room. It felt like there was a thick area of nervous tension covering the door and room inside. "I remember that one now" Yuka said slightly tightening his grip on my hand. "We were about to tell your mother about our relationship, we were both so scared, she was a strict parent if I remember correctly" i chuffed "yeah, I still loved her for it though, you know you were the first one she ever shook hands with?" He put his free hand on his chest. "I feel very privileged" I snickered nudging him a little. "Hey, jerk it's a good thing she liked you or she might've stopped you stepping foot in the house" he raised a brow. "Couldn't you just come to mine?" He asked, I shrugged In response. "Then who would I test my patterns on"

We laughed softly for a while before a new door stood right in front of us. "WAH" I jumped backwards into Yuka who I could tell was also startled. "That was terrifying" I breathed gathering myself before examining the door. "You think the right memories are in there?" I shrugged. "I don't know but I think it might be" there was a few scratches and marks on the door from someone supposedly trying to get in, I ran my fingers over the marks, they perfectly lined up with my own hands. "This has got to be the door" I took a deep breath holding Yukas hand a little firmer as I slowly opened the door. I felt a rush of wind immediately run pass my hair, whipping through it and making me remember everything, the things she did, good and bad. "Kuon Shinzaki"

My name is kuon Shinzaki"

"Hey y/n can you come here?"

"I want to cash in your debt"

"Leave mr mask alone"

"Replace the command"

"For get kuon Shinzaki"

I fell to the floor clutching my head. There was a sharp pain that felt like I was being shot right through my temples. "ARGGH"  I yelled out in pain curling up as everything rushed back. The good the bad and the ugly all back fresh in my mind. "Hey y/n! Y/n are you ok? Talk to me" I could only look up at him in pain before everything wiped.

There was no more pain
No more doors
No more Yuka
No more darkness
No more floor
I was floating, no falling. But where
I looked up, my mask program waving at me as I fell.
I had the great realisation.

I felt spikes pierce my back and legs in several places, was I dead? No.

I snapped awake holding my temples and breathing heavily. I was back in this world,it was just a vision, a dream or something. At least I got what I came for. "Yuka?" I questioned looking to where he was, he was stilll there grumbling and holding his own head. "You have head pains too?" He asked in a deeper tone than usual. "Yeah I do, maybe it was just the amount of time we were in my mind" I mumbled. He hummed in response as I staggered up and went to the sink to grab some water. I filled up two cups bringing his over to him and flopping back down next to him. The pain in my head was less constant and more spontaneous sharp pains, that didn't stop it from hurting like hell though.

"I'm glad I found out more but god this headache is killing me" I said sipping my water and leaning back. "Yeah, here here, this hurts badly" I nodded telling myself fuck it and guzzling the rest of the water. "Ahhhhhh what nowwww" I moaned setting the up back down and running a hand through my hair. The pain was already dying down thank god. And it seemed like Yu was in less pain. "We're there any calls while we were out?" I asked picking up the phone from the coffee table and turning it on. "I have no idea, but they're not back yet so I hope so" I scrolled through. "Oh a text" I opened it and read it through out loud.

"Prepare yourselves for battle, we've been pushed to the limit and we're running back now, I don't know when we're going to be back, but we need help" I took a sharp breath in. "Looks like it's time to shine" I chuckled. I felt myself slip back in my own mind but I promised myself I wasn't going to do that again. "Let's fuck shit up Yuka" I snickered handing him the phone and standing up. He chuffed taking the phone, pocketing it and re fastening his mask. "Let's go" he said shouldering his rifle and softly holding my hand. "Let's"





CRASH

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 16, 2021 ⏰

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