Seven Minutes in Homestuck Heaven

Jake English

You reach in and pull out a skull. You drop that shit like it's hot. Like it's Jake. (The words "Jake" and "hot " are synonyms in your vocabulary.) Wait. Whoah, whoah, whoah, wait. Speaking of Jake, who else in the everloving fuck would put a skull in there?

You hear a voice from behind you. "Whoah there!" Speak of the devil. "It's plastic! Nothing to be afraid of, chum!" You turn to look at him.

"The hell it is!" You snap back at him. He looks at you with a confused expression, and you can only imagine how he's about to react. You consider using the period excuse, but you realize that: 1.) That would be embarrassing. 2.) That would be stupid. 3.) You aren't even on your period.

Luckily, he just backs up and raises his hands in surrender, looking at you in a sort of concerned way. Your face turns red and you turn back to examine the skull. It is, in fact, plastic. You are, in fact, and idiot for thinking otherwise. You grab Jake's hand and mumble a quick apology, pulling him into the closet. You click the lock, and plop down on the little bit of closet space you have. Jake squeezes in next to you.

"Are you quite alright? You seemed to be going bonkers out there..." He pressed the back of his hand to your cheek, checking your temperature. "You're a bit warm..."

"And you, Mr. English, are incredibly hot." You said it without thinking, and instantly regret it.

He takes his hand from your cheek and applies it to his forehead. "Actually, I think I feel fine..." He moves his hand to his neck to make sure. "My temperature seems to be per norm..."

Well, if you're going to screw shit up anyways, you might as well enjoy it. You move your hand to his thigh, and lean over and kiss him lightly. It was quick, but still extremely satisfying. You sit back in your original position, but keep your hand in it's... erm... current position.

"Oh... you weren't talking about medical anomalies...." He trails of and you two sit in silence for what seems like forever. Suddenly, the awkward quiet is shattered. He leans over, grabs your face, and commences sloppy make outs with you.

You hurriedly parted your lips, and he slips his tongue inside gracefully. The feeling of you and him pushing up against each other, pressing your lips to his, and his hand running up and down your thigh was astounding. You felt something in his pocket and quickly pulled away.

"Do you have a gun in your pocket?" You asked nervously. You had never been very comfortable with his guns, and to be in suck a dark, tight place with one certainty wasn't easing your nerves.

"I- it's not a gun..." He stuttered. Your face turned hot as you racked your brain for a reply. Fortunately, you didn't have to dwell on it for long, because Jade opened the door, and light flooded in.

She stared at the two of you. "Being part dog can get a bit awkward. Especially when it comes to hearing. I know now what my grandfather sounds like moaning..."

Jake's face goes pale, but he quickly regains his posture. "Oh.... sorry about that?" He rubs the back of his neck as he awkwardly stands up. You follow in pursuit.

"I honestly don't know what to say..." You look down, your face tinted with a blush.

"HOW ABOUT 'I LOVE YOU'?" Roxy shouts, stumbling up behind jade, who is still standing in the doorway. She looks to be quite disheveled, and had progressively gotten more intoxicated while you were in the closet.

Seeing your expression, she quickly followed up on her outburst. "BUT YOU CAN DO THAT LETTER, WHEN YOU'RE AT HIS PLACE, GETTING IT OWN!" After you decipher her drunken slur, you turn to face Jake, incredibly worried about how he would react.

He smiles and winks. "Fine by me..."