Be My Daddy

Five

No updates during Sunday because it's rest day for all of  us and you know have some intimate time with Him. So I hope you enjoy this one.  Please, take care of yourself! Keep safe and healthy. All my love!

Chapter Five

Soft

The wind blew harshly, making my hair dance with it in a graceful manner. I lifted my hands and stared at it for awhile, a small smile appeared on my lips as the memoirs of what happened last night flashed like a quiet thunderbolt. My heart feels warm and overly sensitive. I don't know if it's because I value the moments and interactions I had with Alder.

Slowly, I let my fingers move like it was heaving some woven fabric. It was just a touch but I couldn't get over it.

I don't want to ever wash my hands again. The contact I made with Alder kept me up all night. I barely slept a second because all I can remember was his touch... And particularly his eyes.

It was like taking a walk inside a dingy forest but knowing that you're still safe, yes you were nervous but never scared. That's how his eyes made me feel.

"You were with Kuya Alder?!" Tanong ni Heaven.

"Paulit-ulit, Heaven?" Irap ko.

"Well, he saved her."  Si Valerio, inaayos ang kanyang uniporme at may malaking ngisi sa mga labi.

"For the third time." Kindat ko kay Manhid at Torpe.

"At kailan mo pa kailangan ng magtatanggol sayo?" Si Heaven.

"Kagabi lang."

Honestly, it actually felt good that he helped me in a way and he really made sure that I went home safely, unscathed and unharmed. I never really had guy friends. It's for two certain reasons: I don't trust boys and they always want something from me.

Valerio has been with me ever since. He's the only guy friend and family I can trust. Although sometimes he's annoying, the fact that he never once made me feel alone and never left me behind are important to me and I appreciate it a lot.

"And you know what... He's not just like some other guy." I dreamily uttered, with eyes beaming with hope and desire.

"Hmm, parang narinig ko na ring sinabi mo 'yan tungkol kay Selvis at iba pa?" Si Valerio.

"And Hades!" Heaven chuckled. "And Hiro, and Jude." Dagdag pa niya at tinuro pa ang mga daliri. Maiinis na sana ako kaso ang cute talaga ni Heaven.

"Iba 'to. Promise."

"Iba nga kasi tiyak na ikaw ang maghahabol." Si Valerio.

"Don't be negative!"

"I thought you don't chase anyone?"

"Hinahabol ko na ba?"

"Soon." Sabay na saad ng dalawa. Napasapo ako sa noo at napangiti rin kalaunan.

Well, it's going to be pretty worthy.

After my final class, I agreed to meet with Tyler.

Actually, nagtatalo pa rin ang isipan ko kung itutuloy ko ba ang plano ko na timbangin ang sarili kung ano bang nararamdaman ko kapag kaharap at kasama si Tyler at Alder. Tama naman si Heaven na mayroon akong kapasidad na magmahal at siyempre, mas mahalin pabalik.  Kaya lang, palagi'y kapag alam kong nasosobrahan na sa pagmamahal ang isang lalaki sa akin mistulang nakasanayan na ng isipan ko na lumayo.

I don't know if it has something to do with trust issues and my fear of abandonment. I always put it in mind that men don't usually stay for too long and even if they did, it's either they'll change or they're fictional, found only in between the pages of a book. I have this mantra in mind that I should always be the one to cut and end things. I should be the one to leave because I don't want to get left behind.