Fanfiction [MASHIKYU]

4 - 3

Junkyu 

I wake up the next morning with a fierce pain in my back and a disoriented sensation as I come to realise that I fell asleep in my desk chair. Then I'm hit with the memory of last night, and I rapidly swivel around in my chair to check the beds behind me. Mashiho isn't there. I didn't go to bed because I wanted to stay awake in case he came back, but I guess he never did.

Well, that can't be a good sign.

Judging by the sun beating through the curtains, I figure it must be a reasonable hour of the morning, so I don't hesitate to bolt out of my room and head for Jaehyuk and Asahi's, rubbing my back and grimacing as I go. I raise my hand to the door to knock, but immediately rethink it and scramble to the bathroom to hurriedly brush my teeth before going back. I get a quick glance of myself in the mirror and am slightly horrified at the pale, bags-under-eyes, dishevelled-hair mess I see, but no time for that. At least I won't have bad morning breath now. Teeth brushed, I rap my knuckles on the door, hoping I'm not waking them up. Jaehyuk and Asahi usually wake up pretty early, though. It's just Mashiho.

Everything is just... Mashiho.

"Good morning, Junkyu," Jaehyuk says with a smile as he opens the door. "You here for Mashiho?"

"I... um... yes." I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. I'm not sure whether or not Mashiho told them what happened, but I guess it doesn't really matter. They must have figured out something happened between us if Mashiho didn't sleep in my room with me. I wonder if they know the lines along what it was or if they think we had a fight or something. "Mashiho. He's here, right?"

Jaehyuk opens the door wider so I can see Mashiho in the middle of climbing down the ladder from the top bunk, and Asahi waves from where he sits on the lower before Jaehyuk grabs him by the wrist and tugs him out of the room.

"We'll give you a minute," Jaehyuk says, briefly patting me on the back before they leave, shutting the door behind them.

And now it's just us. Me, with my messy hair, awkward stance because of my screwed up back from sleeping in my chair, and trembling, nervous hands. Him, with his big and questioning eyes partially hidden underneath his fluffy hair and too-big pyjamas hanging off him, looking so effortlessly gorgeous for someone who only just got out of bed. And the butterflies in my stomach, of course. Tidal waves is probably a better word for it, actually.

"So, how did you sleep?" I ask like we're just making small talk. I hate myself.

Mashiho shrugs. "Oh, you know, okay..." he trails off, but then his lip quivers and his eyes go glassy and the tidal waves in my stomach turn into a painful twisting sensation as I resist the urge to rush up to him and hold him. "Not at all, actually."

Fighting back what I actually want to do, I do what I did with Junghwan; sit down on the bottom bunk, and hold my arm out for him to come into. I breathe a sigh of relief when he doesn't hesitate to sit down next to me and put his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I flipped out and ran off," he says quietly.

Something that feels like a tear wets my shoulder, and I blink away the stinging in my eyes that rises at this.

"Don't be sorry," I tell him. "I was flipping out too, on the inside. Are you okay, though? I heard Asahi trying to calm you down in here. I didn't come in because I didn't want to make it worse."

He swipes at his face and takes a deep breath, and when he speaks again his voice doesn't sound as wobbly as it did before. "Yeah, I'm alright. I just had a really big derealisation attack that lasted for a while."

The knowledge that he was suffering brings me such great pain that I don't even notice my back anymore. I shift away from him so that I'm facing him front on, looking him in the eyes. In those beautiful eyes of his that I love more than any eyes in the world, I can see dozens of emotions, but I can't quite pick them out from each other to tell what expression he's trying to communicate. Although... although it looks a little bit like the way he looked at me before he leaned in last night.