The 100: 6 Years Twist

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My head rested on Clarke's chest, her heartbeat sounding through my ears. With every breath, I lifted and fell with her chest as she held me that night. Her words haunted me. He's gone. I clutched at Clarke's shirt, turning my face into her and letting myself let go. Something inside of me broke when I heard her say Lincoln was gone. It was like a giant dam had broken in me and the water that spilled out were my emotions. As I let Clarke hold and comfort me, I realized how exhausted I was from hiding away and holding in my emotions all the time. She had found me lying on the ground and had sat next to me, pulling me into her lap, cradling my head. Her fingers stroked the side of my face as I finally began to cry. The initial shock wore off and as I accepted it, the tears came. The heavy sobs and painful breaths followed as I broke down.

"It's ok," Clarke whispered to me reassuringly, "you're gonna be ok."

I heard her, but the words meant nothing to me. Lincoln had been the first person I had truly trusted since my mother and Echo's deaths and he was gone. I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye.

--

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my trailer, my home. It had been at least ten days since I had been in this bed and as I remembered the events of the previous nights I snuggled further into the pillow, burying my face and breathing in the warmth and comfort my bed brought me. Then I remembered Clarke.

"Clarke?" I called out, just sitting up slightly but not leaving the warmth of the bed.

I heard her come in from outside and she came and sat down at the foot of the bed, placing a hand on the covers on top of my leg.

"Hey" she replied softly, no doubt worried about me after witnessing the events of last night.

Though I was still slightly nervous about being so close with her, I knew that if Lincoln had trusted her, I certainly could and her actions towards me had been nothing but gentle and kind. I had no reason not to trust her, but I still struggled within myself to truly believe that.

"Thank you" I said to her, realizing she must have carried me back here after I exhausted myself last night.

"Of course" she replied, standing up and walking toward the other side of the trailer.

Inside, my thoughts and emotions battled each other. My actions last night had gone against everything I had been taught and everything I stood for, but something inside of me told me this was good, that Clarke was good. Queen Nia's words attacked me, Fool! Emotions are a weakness. Relationships aren't real. But for the first time, I ignored the thoughts, I just pushed them away and allowed myself to relax in bed.

"D-Do you want to talk about it?" Clarke hesitantly asked from the other side of the trailer, scared to trigger me, I'm sure.

"No" I responded curtly before I could stop myself, immediately regretting the harshness of my response.

Clarke drew in a sharp inhale before nodding and heading out of the trailer. Stupid, I thought, wishing I hadn't pushed her away but also inwardly relaxing once she had left. I couldn't help but tense up in the presence of someone else, most of the time in my life that meant we were trying to kill each other. I got out of bed and situated myself before walking out of the trailer as well, surprised to find that Clarke had left. I think she was just trying to give me some space.

I headed to the river to check for her and breathed a sigh of relief when I spotted her sitting on the high rock, overlooking the water. I didn't make any sound or draw attention to myself but I just wanted to make sure she was okay. With that done, I headed to my tree, it had been a couple days since I had been there and my hands were itching to climb up to my nook and sketch.