Above & Beyond ✔

46. The Seed of Doubt

It was past ten in the morning and I still lay on my bed with a hammering pain in my head. Cursing, I rolled to the side and checked if I kept some painkillers in my nightstand drawers. I groaned at my luck before propping myself up and trudging to the bathroom.

How did I get this stupid hangover again? Right. Blake happened and I needed the alcohol to numb the jabs in my chest after finding out about his weekend trip.

At this very moment, he was at the beach house with Daphne, doing who knew what for a weekend getaway, and he didn't even have the balls to tell me the truth. I sounded like a jealous wife finding out about her husband's affair, but in my defense, Blake knew exactly how I felt about Daphne. He was the one who was willing to go to any length to convince me that Daphne was history, yet he did this.

I yanked open the cupboard door under the basin, took two tabs of painkillers, and chugged them down with the running water from the faucet. When I averted my eyes to the mirror, I almost couldn't recognize myself. My face was pale and my eyes were dull. I looked lifeless.

No matter how many times I told myself that I shouldn't allow this to affect me, that Blake didn't have the power to hurt me, something inside me cracked nonetheless. I had alcohol to keep myself together last night, but this morning the effect had worn off and it threatened to shatter me into pieces. I never understood why the pain stung the most when we woke up in the morning.

I headed to the kitchen and made myself a ginger lemon tea with plenty of sugar to combat the hangover. Luckily, my roommate wasn't home so she didn't have to see me like this. With a cup of tea and cookies in my hand, I made my way to the couch and curled up under the blanket. My finger pressed the buttons on the remote control, mindlessly checking every TV channel but I settled on none.

Sipping my tea, my mind jumped back to last night. Blake called me when I was in a taxi, on my way home. As soon as I picked up his phone call, I slurred "you're an asshole" at him before switching off my phone. The next thing I knew the taxi stopped in front of my flat and the need to crawl into my bed had become unbearable.

Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I should've asked and let him explain. But with the booze screwing up my ability to control myself, I was glad that I didn't do anything worse than that.

I was aware that our situation was shifting now, and since what we had was not anything serious, there was no point talking about it either. But Blake was noticeably distant and back to a fully guarded man again. Still, I never thought he would reconnect with Daphne when our situation was still unsettled like now.

While my head was swirling around endlessly, fatigue and sleepiness started to take over again. The painkiller had finally kicked in.

The sun was heading to the west when I woke up. It seemed like I spent my whole afternoon napping on my couch while the TV played in the background. Way to spend Saturday, but at least the headache was milder.

Groaning, I wriggled myself out of my blanket and was determined to end the day with a better spirit. Enough sulking about a person who probably didn't even think about me right now. I should've known better than getting myself involved too deeply with a guy. Because it would end up just the same.

After taking a shower and making myself instant noodles, I finally took my phone out of my bag and switched it on. As soon as the start-up jingle stopped chiming, my screen was instantly flooded with notifications from Blake. Two missed calls and eight messages.

------------Yesterday-----------

Old Fart: What was that about?

Old Fart: Jennifer?