Above & Beyond ✔

21. Time to Start Dating Again

The rest of our stay was less dreadful because Mom and I agreed to put the nerve-wracking topic behind us. The decisions had been made, Mom told me about her side of stories, and now we just needed to go forward.

Still, Dean's sudden plan on leaving affected me for the rest of the weekend, and it made it harder to move forward. When he broke the news that afternoon at the dock, my brain couldn't fully process it yet. My head probably was just overloaded after all these back-to-back dramas in my life. Or maybe I was also a little distracted with the almost-kissing part. All I knew was that I felt a hollow in my chest when I woke up the next morning.

We spent our Sunday in the water, canoeing, swimming, napping on the boat, and talking a lot. What I meant by a lot was literally non-stop chats. Mom seemed very eager to know about my current updates since our previous day-out plan ended up with me leaving her without notice. Besides, she needed some distraction from this whole Parker fellows situation. So, I told her everything about what was new from my side.

Well, almost everything.

The only part I deliberately skipped was Blake Andrew. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her about him. It wasn't like we had a thing worth telling. A few unexpected encounters and some flirting didn't count, right? Fine, flirting with a drunk make-out session, which still didn't count anyway. No matter what had happened, he would still be the professor, and I Jenny, the student. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had no idea what got into me lately. I'd been acting like a hormonal teenager who grabbed every boy within my reach as if being wanted by them boosted my ego. Even yesterday, I almost kissed Dean! I was so close to grabbing him by the collar and pulling him to me, but luckily, my rational mind kicked in at the right time.

Where did that impulse come from? I thought those romantic feelings I had for him were all buried a decade ago. I always believed he was just my childhood fixation.

Or was it because I didn't date anyone for some time?

After getting over Dean, I had a normal teenage life. I went on my first date with a hot nerd in my class when I was fifteen. We shared our first kiss on our third date. It was awkward but kinda cute.

In high school, I dated several boys but none of them became exclusive until I bumped into Ethan, a jock from another school in my hometown. He was a typical jock you could find in teenage romance novels: a muscular figure that made you drool a river, a pair of ocean blue eyes that could drown you alive, and he had his way with words to make a girl swoon.

We met at a school party to which everyone in town was invited. The story was pretty classic. We were introduced by our mutual friend and BAM; love was instantly in the air. I'd sworn it was my first time falling for someone, at least that was what it felt like back then. We'd dated exclusively for several months before we decided to take it to the next level.

People said the first sexual intercourse could be a bit painful. Heck, it was beyond painful. It was traumatic. I would say that not all those hot guys knew how to use their tools. Long story short, we didn't work. We ended it the way we started it: BAM.

I met Tom, the barista, in my first year at college. He was an ambitious guy and very serious about his future, yet very sweet and attentive when it came to me. If Ethan was all about storms in the ocean, Tom was the calm and serene sea. Though our relationship lasted for a year.

Perhaps this long hiatus from dating life started to mess up with my head. Maybe I'd been that lonely all this time without even realizing it. Maybe I needed to start dating again.