Above & Beyond ✔

28. Cloud of Emotions

The sun was almost disappearing behind the horizon line when Eric and I plopped down on a bench, devouring our ice cream. We were slick with sweat and completely worn out, but the satisfied grin on our faces was evident that we'd been having a good time.

We'd hopped on one extreme ride to another so that I could scream as loud as I pleased, and stopped at every booth where I could punch, smash, or shoot objects while imagining them as someone's face. The more I pictured the person, who was now probably enjoying dinner with a faceless woman while having a flirty and intimate talk, the more determined I was to hit the object with precision. After three hours of overworking myself, my kettle of anger that had been boiling for the past two days was now starting to cool off.

"Wanna hit the Ferris wheel before we head home? The sun isn't fully down yet. We still can enjoy the sunset," I asked when we almost finished our ice cream.

"Are you trying to go all romantic on me now?" Eric nudged my shoulder, and I laughed.

"Of course. I'll propose when we're up there. It's easier to get rid of you if you dare to say no. Come on!" I replied as I got up and pulled his arm, earning a fake shriek from him.

After lining up for several minutes, it was our turn to hop on the chart. I glanced down as the wheel began to spin, watching everything slowly become smaller and distant, giving me a strange sense of relief. Then I averted my gaze to the view in front of me, the lights from the houses in the valley beamed as the hills stood proudly in the background, spreading out into a dark-blue skyline. I sighed in contemplation.

"You know what? When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a Ferris wheel ticket girl. The idea of moving around to new places following the funfair schedules was so exciting. And the chance of hopping on the wheel every day for free was like heaven," I reminisced.

"And the dream crashed once you found out it wasn't for free." Eric snorted.

I laughed. "I would spend all my paycheck on the tickets if I had to. But once I hit school, becoming a doctor, a scientist, a successful businesswoman, or some other A-class professions started being planted in my head. Ferris-wheel dream vanished into the thin air" —I snapped my fingers— "just like that."

"What is it with the Ferris wheel then?"

"Dunno. I just love it. I guess it's because when I'm up here, the objects on the ground that previously looked big and intimidating have become small obstacles and not so frightening anymore."

He raised one eyebrow. "Hmm, I don't have that, I mean being intimidated by the size. Maybe it has something to do with your mini size?"

"Hey!" I swung my foot, aiming for his shin but he caught it first. "I'm not small."

"If you say so. So, it's less intimidating when you're up there. Go on."

"Yeah. It makes me believe that all the problems aren't as big as they seem."

"It sounds like a mind game."

I thought about it for a while. "In a way. When the object is too close and too intimidating, it's hard to think clearly because I'm too clouded by my own emotions. So, being up there, above and beyond our cloud of emotions, it gives me clarity that helps me pull a better judgment."

Eric frowned, taking in what I just said. "I don't know. To me, it sounds like you're detaching yourself from the main issue. Why not just deal with it when it's in front of you?"

I shrugged. "It would feel too intense. Dunno. I guess it's just how I work," I replied while glancing at the remnant of orange streaks in the sky that had turned completely dark by now. The temperature had dropped after the sun went down, allowing a cool breeze to brush my face and neck that had become sticky from the sweat.