No More Dream: Jimin's Trainee Story ✔

Chapter One: Jimin's First Day

February, 2012

Jimin glanced nervously around the room of Trainees. 

"Who's the kid?" Jimin asked, eyes focused on a boy who looked even younger than him.

Taehyung followed his eyeline to the skinny boy with the glasses and tousled hair.

"Jeon Jungkook." Tae looked back at Jimin. Jimin's eyes raked over the younger boy with a look that Taehyung couldn't quite read. 

"How old is he?"   

"15," said Tae.

Jimin looked back at him in shock.. Fifteen? His stomach turned uncomfortably. He looked around the room at the other trainees stretching and talking. He swallowed. All these boys looked tall and good looking... why was Jimin even here? His thoughts escaped him in a moan.

"What am I even doing here." He muttered, eyes at the ground, hot tears already coating his eyeballs.

"Huh? Hey what do you mean?"   said Tae, concerned, grabbing Jimin's arm.

Jimin was afraid to say another word. The dance instructor was already organizing them into groups and this was his very first day at Big Hit. He blinked away his tears and shook his hair down over his eyes and hoped no one noticed him.

.......................

Jimin leaned all his weight against the heavy metal door until it swung open, and then walked away quickly, hoping that Taehyung didn't notice or catch up to him.

The tears he had been holding back now flooded his eyes and fell hot down his cheeks. A sob escaped him. What WAS he doing here?

His dance instructor had recommended the Big Hit Audition. It seemed like a good idea, sort of...he definitely wanted to try more challenging dances and work with better dancers than he could get at the community theatre in Busan. And he had to admit that he liked performing...he loved to look around while he danced at the eyes glued to him, he loved their applause... And a secret part of him inside quickened at the idea of being an IDOL. Being literally idolized by fangirls (and fanboys, another shoved down, secret part piped up)... he had to admit he liked the thought of being famous.

Plus, Taehyung was already training there at Big Hit. So it had seemed like a good idea...but day one had taught him just how far out of his league he was.

It was all even worse than he thought it would be. He stumbled even over dances that should have been easy for him. Hoseok, a fellow "trainee" if you could even call him that, made Jimin look like an amateur. Even that KID Jungkook moved really well for a freaking untrained 15 year old!

And then there was singing...Jimin stopped walking. Blind from sobs he stumbled backward until his back met the wall of the city building and then sunk down, hugging his knees and letting his body wrack with sobs. Why was he such an awful singer? Why did he ever think he could be a freaking Idol? HIM, Park Jimin. He wasn't tall or handsome or talented in any way beyond maybe dancing. Dancing was not enough to make him successful as an Idol.

"Jiminah?" His nickname pierced through the darkness between the streetlights.

"Tae?" He croaked.  His friend reached his hand down to help him up.

"What is wrong Jimin? You were so quiet and weird all day."

"I can't do this, Tae." He said quietly. I don't know why I thought I could."

"You thought you could because I told you how nice everyone is at Big Hit, remember?"

Nice. The word settled in Jimin's brain. Too nice to tell him the truth. To nice to tell him not to waste his time.

"Yeah too nice to tell me that a kid two years younger than me is better than I am."

That was the worst part during singing training. It wasn't even how badly he sucked at singing...no matter how hard he tried... It was that KID. That freaking 15 year old kid.

"Jimin, you are an amazing singer."

Jimin looked at Taehyung challengingly.

"Really."

"Yes, really, what do you think? Why do you think they wanted you?"

I don't know. Jimin thought.

"He sung like God opened up the gates of heaven." Jimin muttered, his voice a mixture of anger and jealousy, eyes falling to the ground and starting to walk again. Taehyung jumped to walk at his heels like a trained puppy.

"What, who?"

Jimin was silent at first, plodding forward along the sidewalk. "That KID."

"Jungkook?" Tae laughed. "Yeah they call him the Golden Maknae, he is good at everything."

The jealousy rose hot inside Jimin again and he was focused only on his steps, one in front of the other, until Tae pulled at his arm and caused him to look up.

"Jimin, listen," Tae pulled his face up toward him so he was forced to look right into his face. "You are incredible." 

Jimin's first reaction to hearing this was a combination of happiness and embarrassment and anger.   "Shut UP." He said with a smile and shoved Taehyung away from him and kept trying to walk, but Tae grabbed him again, hands on his shoulders and said squarely to him again,

"I'm serious Jimin, you are insanely talented and I'm really sorry that you can't see it, but Big Hit is super happy to have you." Jimin squirmed uncomfortably still, but let these words sink into him like a salve.  

"And not to be too sappy but I'm happy to have you here, too." Taehyung shifted, now he was the uncomfortable one...and now Jimin was the one who was confused and not sure what Taehyung meant. 

"Hyung?"

Tae looked back into his eyes, something unreadable behind them before he blinked and squirmed. "I don't know...I guess it's easy for people to misunderstand me."

Jimin thought about this...Taehyung was certainly unique. He was incredibly energetic, probably why he and Jimin were friends because they both were like excited puppies most of the time... But Taehyung could also be very quiet and unreadable. And he could change from moment to moment. He often explored the world with a child-like wonder and curiosity. It was wonderful, to Jimin. When he and Tae went on adventures together, Jimin literally never knew what was going to happen. Tae could make anyone see beauty and joy in things like snow and rain and music. He would cry unabashedly when moved...He would jump up and down and clap his hands when excited. To Jimin, he was wonderful, his best friend.

But now that he was thinking about it...today some of the trainees had pointed fingers at Tae's back and laughed at him when he was talking excitedly to the staff, and there were moments where even the senior trainees like Yoongi and Namjoon were staring at him as if they wondered Is this guy for real?

Jimin took Tae's hands. He felt warmth. It felt good to think about someone else's problems for a few minutes.

"You are amazing too, and you shouldn't let anyone make you feel bad for who you are."  

Tae looked back into his eyes with a smile. "Do you really mean it, Jiminah? You think I am good?"

"You are amazing, trust me." Jimin thought of Taehyung during vocal practice, his deep and soulful voice echoed in contract to Jimin's whiny and broken one... but as he looked back into the face of his best friend, now smiling his huge boxy smile, he shoved his own insecurities aside for once, linked his arms with Taehyung and slipped into the next shop for Ramen and fried chicken. As he and Taehyung ate and laughed together, their insecurities were able to be forgotten for a few hours.