Hollywood's Newest Obsession

Dear Melody...

Dear Melody,

As I am writing this, it is too late for me. I am sorry. The date we had last was perfect. Using your phone as a ping pong paddle, I must say, your skills have impressed me, but no one can ever beat the skills of the master. I hope that those happy moments will stay in your mind forever. Melody, I had known what was wrong with me for a long time, but by the time I knew I had finally had you, it was too late. I thought a guy like me would never get a girl like you, but I was wrong. You were mine, and I was yours.

Melody, I wanted to tell you what was wrong, but I was never really able to without thinking you would leave me. When I would begin to tell you, it was never the right time, or I was just too scared. Mel, I love you, and I want you to remember that forever until the end of time. The month and a half I have had with you made me the happiest man alive. Cliché, I know, but true for me.
By the time you read this, I am already gone. Not that I'm leaving you on purpose, which I would never do.I am sorry that I am having to leave you alone, but I was too late. This whole thing is because I had cancer. That just makes this whole thing worse. Every time cancer seems to kill someone that others care about.

I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I am not there to take care of you. I'm sorry that I won't be there to hold you when you are hurting. I'm sorry I won't be able to dance with you whenever you want to. I'm sorry that I won't be able to say two magically words that will bring us closer together and kiss you after I push back you veil to see you amazing face. I'm sorry that I won't be there to have a wonderful family with you and kiss your belly when you are preparing to be a wonderful mother to our children. I'm sorry for not being able to be like the old couple we saw on the beach holding each other and looking off at the sunset. I'm sorry for basically screwing up even more than Jake. I'm sorry for failing you.

This whole time, I was basically leading you on just to trap you. I never wanted to do hurt you like Jake did. I wanted to treat you like the wonderful girl you are, and not like some side chick. You showed me the things that only happen in Fairy Tale, but with every fairy tale, there is a hidden horror story. I was the horror story to your happy amazing story and now it will never be the same. You were Belle, and I was your beast, yet, I couldn't stop the problems that were against us. The odds were and always will be against us, and I swore up and down that I would win and we would be together, but that didn't happen. I am my own pain for knowing that I am putting you through so much.

I wanted to be with you. I wanted to hold you, kiss you, hug you, and be able to tell you how absolutely crazy you make me each and everyday. You made me feel crazy, because before you, I had never really loved a girl like I love you. I thought that the small crush I had on you when Jake was talking about you was something small, but when you showed up, I got to see a different side of you. The real side of you...the real Melody Olivia Pagie. From then on, I made it my job to win you over and sweep you off your feet. I was just a love sick puppy, that fell head over heels for a girl that had so many secrets.

If I had the time, I would show you the ways a girl should be treated, and not the way Jake treated you. If I had the time, I would never let you go and make sure that you would never forget how much you mean to me. If I had the time, I would take you anywhere you wanted to go. If I had the time, I would go to the moon and back to make you feel special. But those are "If"s, and no matter how hard I try, it's not going to happen.

I would love to tell you that you will be okay and move on without me, but I don't know if that's true. But I want you to move on. To forget about me. To love someone else. To hug them when everything is wrong. To kiss them in the middle of the rain. To never want to think about what would happen if they left. To love someone else like we loved each other.

Life will be hard for you, I know this for certain. Your life had so much shit going on before I got in it, and now I have created a storm and there is way to undo it. Forget the pain I am going to put you through. But I want you to do this. Whenever you are hurting, close your eyes and count to 10. I will always be there. I promise I will NEVER leave you in pain. Not until I know you'll be alright.

I want you to remember this:

White as snow. Red as blood. Black as the soul of the evilest person.

I love you my dear, and I will never forget that Hollywood's Newest Obsession stole my heart.

Love you forever and always,
Taylor Murphy.