Do You See Her Face? (A Jess Mariano Fanfiction)

If James Bond Was Bruce Springsteen

Disclaimer: All Gilmore Girls content belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino.

. . .

five years later

Biting at the inside of her cheek, Ella struggled to keep her eyes open. One hand was on her stomach, and her free hand went to her mouth. Ever since getting pregnant, the nervous nail-biting was nonstop. She didn't know exactly why, and she didn't know exactly how to get it to stop, either. After Jess finished another passage, he cast her a glance and frowned when he saw her fingers resting on her lips. He scoffed and gently reached over to bring her nails from her teeth.

"You need to quit that, Eleanor," he said.

Rolling her eyes, Ella shifted and readjusted her position with her head on his shoulder as he read. "Fine. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous to see your mom tonight."

"Why?" he asked, furrowing his brows.

She sighed. Things had been tense between Jess and his mother as of late, since she had accidentally landed in a religious cult with her husband and daughter. They had managed to escape before being totally brainwashed, but the incident left a bad taste in Jess's mouth. It reminded him a bit too much of his childhood, and the thought of Doula having to experience any of what he had made his insides squirm. The atmosphere of frustration had resulted in Ella and Jess waiting as long as possible to tell Liz and TJ about the pregnancy. Seeing them at Luke and Lorelai's wedding was simply inevitable, and the news would be obvious. Liz was a little over four months along, and had a clearly pregnant belly, which showed in the simple gray dress printed with small black flowers she was wearing. Jess, Ella knew, was more likely worried about exposing his own baby to Liz, even before she was born.

Ella shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't want seeing her to make you too upset. We're the ones who get to decide how involved she is."

Jess let a small smile across his lips. He leaned down to kiss the crown of Ella's head. "Don't worry about me, honey. I know."

"Okay," she said in earnest. "Just let me know if that changes."

"Will do, Stevens." Then, he shut the book, saving his place with his finger, and looked over at her inquisitively. Her eyes were tired, and she was a little pale. "You can sleep if you want to. We don't have to be at Liz and TJ's any specific time. No one here is gonna care if you rest for a little while."

"Maybe, Mariano," she said, running her hand over her stomach absently. "I just hate being so tired during the day."

"Hey, at least the puking finally stopped," Jess said with an opportunistic chuckle.

Letting her eyes flutter shut, she laughed with him. "That's true." Up until two weeks earlier had seen Ella constantly slammed with morning sickness. The tide was recently changing to crazy cravings, barbeque sauce on top of a banana being the highlight of the last week.

A couple minutes later, with Jess back to his reading, Ella did end up dozing off. She was cozy on the Gilmore couch, wrapped in a black cardigan over her soft, worn dress. The autumn chill had just arrived in the Northeast, and Ella had yet to adjust to it once more all the way. The air smelled crisp and familiar in Stars Hollow. It was the first time they had been back in over a year, busy trying to get pregnant, and then freaking out once they finally did. But distance had indeed made the heart grow fonder. Ella was happy to be able to see everyone again, and the idea that she was free to leave whenever she wanted, guilt-free, made the trip infinitely more enjoyable. The little blue house was finally sold to a young new family over eighteen months prior.

She floated back to reality at the sound of Luke's heavy footfalls down the stairs. Opening her eyes, she didn't move. Instead, she watched with Jess as Luke descended from the upstairs in his wedding suit. They'd barely arrived for the visit when Lue had raced upstairs with self-conscious requests for honest opinions. Then, he'd remained upstairs for twenty minutes fussing over himself before finally returning. Ella fought back a laugh as he came down, but he did in fact look decent in the suit. A fond smirk came over Jess's face as he shut the book with a snap, putting it beside him.