"A Sanctuary Safe and Strong"(Marianas Trench)

Chapter 13

As unsteady as he felt, he draped his arm around Matt's shoulders and allowed the brunet to shut the door, wrap his arm around Josh's lower back and guide him further into the house toward the living room, where he was dragged down onto the couch. It was a little more comfortable, but no warmer. Could he really possibly get frostbite? Josh didn't want to think about that either. 

"You're fine here, man. You're safe. But, I am gonna go get you a blanket and something to clean up with now because you're a fuckin' mess, Josh. I'll be right back, I swear. I'm just gonna go over to that closet," the younger man said pointing to a closed door about six feet away, "and then to the kitchen. You can see me the whole time. Watch me, okay?" Matt eased himself up from his seat and took a step, not moving any further until the blond nodded reluctantly. Josh felt himself starting to go under again. His breathing faltered a little and he closed his hand around the edge of the sofa cushion, squeezing tightly. 

"I'm only three feet away now, Josh." Matt took another stride. "Four...five...six. I'm still in the room. Keep your eyes on me," he reminded the older man. 

Somehow, just hearing the guitar player talk helped to smooth out the frantic thoughts that had started to flit through his mind. Just the same, he didn't risk losing sight of Matt the entire time the brunet was more than an inch away, and he truly only settled down again once the guitarist was sitting next to him, wrapping the well-worn woven blanket around his shoulders. 

Matt straightened the blanket a bit more, then shoved a couple of warm, damp paper towels into Josh's hand. "Where did all of this fucking blood come from, man? It's everywhere." 

"Nose," the singer mumbled quietly, half-heartedly wiping at his upper lip and cheeks. 

"No, give it to me. You're just smearing it and making it worse. Look at me." The guitar player took the paper towels from the older man and put a finger under Josh's chin to turn the man's head toward him when the singer made no motion to move. Josh closed his eyes as Matt proceeded to once again take care of him in a bigger way than he felt anyone should. He only reopened his eyes when the cloth was pulled away a minute later. The brunet leaned forward and threw the garbage into the trash can, wiping his wet hands against his flannel-clad thighs. 

Josh felt worse the minute he saw Matt yawn and run his hands down his face before leaning back against the couch, his eyes slowly slipping shut. He knew how late it was and he knew that the younger man had spent the last three days sitting in the world's most uncomfortable hospital chairs while he slept. He shouldn't have come here. He should have just tried to be a man about things instead of acting like a terrified little kid.  

"Now talk to me," the brunet insisted gently. "What the hell has you acting like this? Did something else happen?" 

"No," the singer answered simply, lowering his head and studying the scuffed toes of his shoes. "Nothing else." 

"Then what, Josh? What is it?" 

He might not have wanted to speak about the truth out loud, but he didn't know what else to say that would make a believable lie. The younger man was too good at catching him in moments of dishonesty, not that he wanted to lie to Matt for any reason anyway. "Just, you know, fuckin' decided to take you up on your offer, dude." His words came a bit easier now, thank God. He no longer sounded like an illiterate asshole when he opened his mouth, but he also wasn't doing so great at trying to come off as nonchalant as he wanted.  

Matt lifted his hands to rub at his eyes again before rolling his head against the back of the couch and looking over at Josh. "Well, good. That's great. I'm glad to hear it," he replied tiredly. "But I'm not gonna accept that shit, man. You know I'm gonna need a better answer than that." 

"Don't have one," Josh said quietly, pulling at the edges of the blanket to tighten it around his body. Slowly but surely, the shaking was easing off thanks to Matt and the warmth. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...fuck...I can go..." 

"Don't be sorry, man." Matt turned to face the older man, bending his knee and resting his leg on the sofa in front of him.  

Josh looked up into his eyes for the first time that night. The brunet's were horribly bloodshot, the blond quickly noticed. He must have just gotten to sleep before Josh showed up. "Where else can you go at...," Matt trailed off slightly, moving his head to squint at the clock on the wall across the room, "four in the morning when you need somewhere to be?"  

Josh raised his uninjured shoulder in a half-shrug. "Anywhere else? Shouldn't have come here. You've gotta fuckin' sleep sometime, dude. I can't just...I mean...I should probably go." The singer slid forward on the couch but felt Matt grab onto the back of the blanket, catching his shirt in the process and holding him firmly in place.  

"Josh, no. Now it's my turn. Listen, man, I offered you a place to stay. You didn't wanna take me up on it a few hours ago, but you're here now. That's what matters. And it's fine. I'm glad you showed up. I don't care what time it is. If you need a place to be, this is it."  

Matt released the blanket and Josh's shirt to cover his mouth when he yawned a second time. "You're right, though. It is late and I think we could both use the rest. We can talk about all this later, after we get some sleep." He punctuated his sentence with yet another yawn. 

"Yeah...okay," he timidly agreed. As good as that sounded, the blond wasn't so sure he'd ever be able to sleep again. He was used to spending nights in strange places, thanks to being part of a touring band, and he'd slept in Matt's spare bedroom before out of necessity, like when a water pipe burst in his own condo, or when he was having a couple of rooms painted and wanted to avoid living in the fumes that he swore would wreck his voice, but now the thought of closing his eyes alone in a dark, somewhat unfamiliar place made his heart drop down into his stomach. Just the same, he found it was easier to accept what Matt wanted, for the younger man's sake. "I guess." 

"Good. C'mon," Matt said, standing and leading the way down the short hallway, past the small bathroom until he reached his bedroom on the left. "I have sweats and a tshirt you can borrow."