Pierced

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Chapter Sixteen

Lucian

I jerk awake, grabbing my throat as I choke. Next to me, Lia stirs but doesn't wake. My heart is hammering and fear still clutches my insides. Fuck, one night of not self-medicating and I'm right back in Hell. I ease from the bed, careful to make as little noise as possible. Safely inside the bathroom, I go straight to the shaving kit tucked against the back of the cabinet, under the sink, and pull it out. My hands automatically lay out the small mirror and white vial. In less time than it would have taken to find a bottle of Tylenol, I've made two perfectly straight lines of white powder and rolled up a dollar bill into a tight, straw-like shape. A couple of snorts later, I repack the bag, tucking it once again securely out of sight.

The coveted feeling of calm races through my veins, and I'm once again unshakable. The nightmare is fading away, and my world is returning to the upright position. When a knock sounds at the door behind me, I jump guiltily. "Yeah, baby?" I call through the wood as I quickly wash my hands and scan the sink counter to make sure no evidence is left behind.

"Just making sure you are okay. I thought I heard you yell." I cringe at her words, remembering my shout of relief as the cocaine had made its way into my system. If she knew my whole story, she of all people would probably understand my need for relief, but fuck, I don't want her to know I'm using. I love that she looks to me for protection, and I'll be damned if I want to seem like less in her eyes. I am just another messed-up person who needs a crutch to deal with his problems, but she doesn't know that, and I want to keep it that way for as long as I can.

"Sorry, baby. Just...kicked the cabinet with my toe. Hurt like hell." I wait another moment for the guilt of the lie to leave my face before opening the door to find her standing there. She has slipped on my shirt and as sexy as she is naked, she looks even better wearing my things.

We had spent a peaceful weekend together. After her ordeal in court on Friday, we decided to lay low for a few days. We spent Saturday exploring Biltmore Village, and Sunday we had returned to my house for lunch with Aunt Fae and a more PG-rated swim in the pool. It's early Monday morning now, and we have a few hours remaining before either of us has to start the day.

Max let me know on Friday that Lia's stepfather would remain in jail for the weekend but would possibly be released at some point today. I have given her strict instructions that she is to go nowhere without Sam. I will drive myself to the office this week so she can have my car at her disposal. Sam will take her to school and pick her up afterwards. I wanted her to take a week off, but she is in the middle of finals and refused.

I have no desire to go back to bed, but I know if I don't, neither will Lia, and she has exams later on this morning. I pull back the bed covers and follow her under them. She turns on her side, and I wrap myself around her as naturally as if I have been doing the same thing for years. The routine we have developed over the last few weeks is both scary and comforting. Our talk earlier has shown me we are both wary and uncertain about what is happening between us. I have let her into a part of me no one has occupied before. I am clueless as to how this has happened so fast.

In truth, my first evening with Lia was for much the same reason as my first date with Laurie-to keep Monique off my ass. Lia was never supposed to be anything other than that. When I met her, though, something stirred to life and that feeling captivated me. My answer to the uncertainty those feelings provoked was to fuck her and get her out of my system.

Yeah, that worked really well; having sex with her only strengthened my fascination. I'm not completely clueless; I know part of the original attraction was the similarities between her and Cassie. Not physically, but their circumstances in life are alarmingly close. Lia, though, is strong and has refused to let life break her. Cassie was broken a long time ago and eventually shattered. Lia is the best version of a girl like Cassie. A girl I loved once, but it was never enough to save her from herself. I have existed in my fucked-up world for so long since that I'm like someone waking from a coma to face the first sunlight they've seen in years. The glare is bright, the world is confusing, and I'm floundering at every turn. However, when I behold the vibrant blue of the day and the fiery glow as the sunsets, I feel nothing but wonder in the moment. That is what I feel when I'm with Lia: awe as each new day dawns with her in my life and fear that one day, the sun will go away again and I'll be back in the darkness, searching desperately for the light...for my Lia.