Too Much To Hide || EDITING

c.37

      The sound of whimpering is the first thing to break my rest. For a moment, the warmth from the beanbag is hard to abandon but once my eyes come into focus, James is seated upright, rubbing his eyes with a pout pursing his lips.

      The warmth gets pushed to the back of my mind as I bound out of the plush and lean over the crib, bringing him into my arms.

      "Hey, darling, shh," my whisper soothes him, his whines calming and his breathing returning to normal. Holding his head, my neck provides a safe space for his chin as his sniffles lessen. 

      With James huddled in my arms, my feet carry me over to the window shadowed by the thick, maroon curtain. Once it's pushed aside, my eyes are attacked by the sun's bright rays. It takes a while for me to get used to the exposure but it's the morning. Today's the day. 

      "You alright, James?" Hoisting him onto my hip, he stares at me with large, bright, doe eyes, still watery from his little scene. A smile curls on my lips and soon, he follows the example to the best of his ability. 

      Placing a kiss on his nose, which he shockingly doesn't rebuke, I take a deep breath and blow it out through my mouth, closing my eyes and clearing my throat. With my built composure, the two of us leave the nursery and head into the living room.

      Seated around the kitchen island, Tyler is in deep conversation with Adrian, who is hunched over a glass of some beverage. Adrian was pretty roughed up but for some reason, I'm still surprised Tyler stayed over. To be honest, I'm glad—at least Adrian wasn't alone.

      Just because I regret my actions and am pitying him doesn't mean my anger has subsided. Keeping my head forward, Adrian's stare almost pierces me as I walk across the living area to the foot of the stairs.

      "Let's get you changed, shall we?" I say to James to distract myself from my thoughts. Thankfully, he has recovered and is his normal, joyful self. He gives me his widest smile and claps his hands together, making me grin too.

      He is given a quick rinse and change. Adrian's room isn't as clean as I left it last night but what could I have expected? Most of his shirts are splayed across the floor, crumpled and wayward. Even the bed was undone when I arrived. After tidying it, James sits on the comforter, idly grabbing a pillow and trying his best to toss it around. Meanwhile, still feeling the guilt gnaw at my conscience, it pushes me to collect the scattered clothes and fold them neatly. 

      "Liz?"

      Portia's voice gets a reaction from James, who is ecstatic to see her. She moves to the child and says her brief greeting before coming over to me with sad eyes. Please don't look at me like that.

      "Good morning, Portia," feigning a happy grin, I fold a sleeve into a white linen shirt and place it on the laundry pile.

      As most of the tops return to their rightful place, neatly kept on benches or wherever, Portia watches my movements silently. At times, she opens her mouth to say something but then shuts it, speaking nothing. Whatever she is going to say, I pray it's nothing that will trigger my tears because I've cried too much lately.

      Once the room is back to its cleaner state, Portia catches my arm gently and gets me to look at her. Her heart shaped face looks younger than she is, her brown eyes searching my blue. I know what she wants to say but it's the last thing I want to hear.

      "Go and take a shower," she says quietly. "I'll take care of James."

      That wasn't expected. My lips purse as I blink at her owlishly before registering what she said. Right, go shower and freshen up. Giving her a quick nod, I choose a pair of jeans and a blouse from my suitcase to wear. I'll be leaving anyway so why not get ready now?