Chapter 6 - Goals

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The moment at Zack's home made me thought a lot of things. We didn't talk all the way home, as if it was never happened and everything was just my illusion. I was lying on my bed thinking about it that night, when my cellphone rang.

"What're you doing tonight?" Zack asked right after I picked up.

"Chilling." I answered.

"Cool. I'll pick you up at 11. Just wear sweater or whatever. Nothing fancy but if you want... yeah I guess you can wear a dress. Though it'd be awkward if -"

"Hold your thoughts," I cut. "Where are we going?" I asked with furrowed brows.

He quiet for a second. "Chilling." he repeated my line.

And then it was me who didn't know what to say.

"See you later." He ended the call.

I internally cursed. Seriously? I had no word in this? I monologue and sighed. He's really making me his puppet.

I wore a brown sweater that night. Black hijab, as usual. When he texted me he's arrived, I walked out the room and outside the college, then got into his car.

I was honestly still uncomfortable with this kind of atmosphere. Wished I could sit at the back so that we didn't like that close in the car but it's not proper.

"Have you eaten?" he asked.

"Yeah."

His brow raised. "When?"

"... This afternoon." I looked away awkwardly. I suck in lying and he knew it.

He started the engine and drove out of the uni. We sat in silence. 30 minutes had passed when we arrived a restaurant. Sitting at the very corner of the room, the waiter took our order.

Then there's silence again.

I remembered our conversation the other day and thought, like, maybe I should start treating him like a normal human being who needed my help instead of a heartless hacker. So I asked the first question I could think of. "So... you gonna tell me what we're here for or...?"

He looked at me. Blinked. And laughed.

Okay why do I feel stupid.

"Not everything I do is about Ed, Rae." He said.

Didn't know why but my heart skipped a beat when he mentioned his name.

"I never said anything about him." I defensed.

He shook his head, and leaned forward. Not saying anything but his eyes were on me like analyzing my whole existence. It made me felt more uncomfortable than I already was.

"You know, I hate it when you do that." I said.

He raised his brows and leaned back to his seat. A half-smile curved playfully on his lips.

I squinted my eyes. "What are you thinking, Mr.?"

"You'll know." He replied, still with the smile.

At this rate I should feel insecure and unsafe, but somehow I felt the hint of genuine from him. Like where we were actually had nothing to do with his plan. Though a small part of me doubted it.

Finished eating, he drove me back to the uni but not to my college. Instead, he stopped his car by the road quite far away from any building. No vehicle was allowed to park there but it was already midnight so no one's passing.

You bet I'd feel like running away screaming from this guy, but instead I felt quite happy. Why? Because this road, was the place I'd like to stop by at night to take some pictures of the scenery. But I never had the chance to. It was at the higher ground. You can see the city from here. And at night? It was stunning. Perhaps he wanted to set a good mood before demanding something from me. I couldn't help but guessing it. There's no way he's doing this for fun. We're not friends like that.

Zack got out of the car and I followed. He jumped to sit on the hood and lent a hand for me. Instead of taking it, I let out an awkward small laugh and sat on the boot. Hashtag short people problem.

His brows furrowed. "Don't you like it higher?" he asked.

I took out my phone and opened the camera. "I do. But maybe you should start wearing gloves when I'm around." I answered while snapping pictures.

"Oh, right." He got it. "Sorry." Zack jumped down and sat beside me. Not too close.

"Do you like it here too?" I asked while looking back at some of the photos I'd taken.

"Yeah," He said. "I guess I'm starting to like it now."

My eyes darted to him, brows furrowed. Now?

He showed that stupid cute half-smile again. "This is my first time being here."

Oh.

"Just think of it as my treat to you for... helping me today." He said.

His statement made me laughed. "Oh, so you're using carrot and stick now?"

He just shrugged.

I shook my head, smirking a bit. "You know that won't guarantee me not running back to Ed, right?"

I noticed he tensed as I mentioned the name.

"You're not safe with him, Rae." He said seriously. "How can you still be attracted to him, after all he did to you?"

I scoffed. "What do you know about what he'd done to me?"

"Much enough to conclude that you deserve better." He said.

"You're the one who drags me, Mr." I reminded him. "I didn't choose to make 'memories' with him again," My fingers posed the apostrophe.

And it's him who smirked this time. "You know what? I really like it when you call me Mr."

I was taken aback for a second before realizing and groaned. "Don't deflect me!"

He laughed and looked away. My face was still a frown. He ignored me. I watched back the scenery and after a few minutes, I found my heart at peace again.

"Rae." He called me. I just answered with a hum and looked at him. Our eyes met. I felt something in my chest. Zack seemed... vulnerable. I was speechless and just blinked.

"I wish I can do this without you." His voice was almost half-whisper. "But I can't." He continued with a firmer tone. "The former plan was to make you my partner. Until I realized you're still not over him. You can't... see him suffer, like I wanna make him." The vulnerability vanished and I saw that grudge in his eyes again.

I tried to push my emotion aside and asked. "Do you... not wanna tell me why?" I needed to know.

Zack went silent. He just watched the scenery in front of us without answering me.

I sighed. "How can I help you if -"

"I can't." He cut me. "You deserve to know, and you should know it. But I can't get myself to tell it to anyone just yet." His eyes moved to the ground, looking down like he's struggling to keep himself together.

I figured it's not the right time - or issue, to push. "It's that big, huh?" I said with a slow voice. "Got it."

A few moments of silence passed when Zack finally asked if I wanna go back to college, which I said yes.

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