Wiped Clean

13. Withdrawal's a bitch

Caia tried to ignore the knock on the bathroom door as she hurled into the toilet. She had tried to be quiet. Had tried to make sure no one would notice, Hallie especially. She didn't want to wake her in the middle of the night. 

After knocking again, Annika entered, before closing the door behind her.

"Sorry," Caia said from where she sat on the bathroom floor. "I tried to be quiet."

"You were, but I'm a light sleeper. I rolled over and noticed you were gone."

Another wave of nausea rolled through Caia and she leant toward the toilet. She vomited again, and a second later, Annika's hand was on her back, rubbing gentle circles over it.

Caia jerked away. "Don't touch me."

"Sorry," Annika said, removing her hand. "I was trying to help."

The sadness in Annika's voice made Caia regret being so harsh. She sat back and leant against the wall. "Sorry. I just don't like being near people when I puke."

"Can I get you anything?"

"How about some oxy?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of something to eat or drink."

Pain had settled deep within Caia's muscles. She ached all over and wanted nothing more than to return to bed. She wiped the sweat from her brow and went to stand, before stumbling into Annika's waiting arms. "Sorry," she said, taking her own weight.

"Why don't you rinse your mouth out while I go get you some water," Annika said. "Would you like an ice pack or wet flannel?"

"Either would be good," Caia said. "Thanks."

Once Annika had left, Caia brushed her teeth and rinsed out her mouth before sitting on the edge of the bed to wait for her return.

Annika slipped into the room, offering the glass of water in her hand. Then, with such tenderness, she lifted a wet towel to her brow and held it against her.

"Do you want to change your shirt?" Annika asked.

Sweat covered Caia. Her shirt was drenched in it. Embarrassment brought heat to her cheeks as she nodded and pointed to her bag, where it sat in the closet. Somehow she had completely moved into Annika's room. "Can you get the sports bra? It's too hot for a shirt."

"Here," Annika said, before turning around to give Caia some privacy.

"Okay," she said when she was done.

When Annika turned, her face remained caring and concerned. Her gaze didn't drop. She didn't once look lower than Caia's face. "Is there anything else you need?"

Tears welled in Caia's eyes. She had never before felt so vulnerable. So broken. She hadn't properly dealt with her grief and had instead buried it down deep. Withdrawing from the drugs that kept her together meant facing her emotions. A sob left her chest, and a second later, Annika was holding her tight.

As the sobs quietened, Annika stepped back. "Here," she said, her voice gentle. "Why don't we go back to bed." She lifted the covers, holding them up until Caia was beneath them. She pulled the covers up to her neck, now suddenly cold, despite the sweats.

"Do you still want me in your bed even though I'm gross and sweaty?"

"Yes."

Caia's teeth began to chatter.

"Why don't we talk to keep you distracted?"

"Sure. As long as you don't ask me how I ended up with Dan." That was a story she wasn't ready to share. Wasn't sure she would be ready for a long time. Talking about Gemma caused her mountains of pain.