Chronicles of the Serpent (ON HOLD)

Chronicles of the Serpent (ON HOLD)

681 Reads 20 Votes 2 Part Story
Peckinpah By Peckinpah Updated Mar 20, 2011

In a world where mystical creatures roam and magic is ever present, young Chris Gabriel is a human worth noticing. After an attack from a mysterious beast, he goes on a quest of self discovery and unravel a mystery of a millennium-long war between gods and mortals

emmikat emmikat May 10, 2011
OH!! Very nicely written. I like it very much. (Not love yet, but I'm getting there!!) I promised I would read it, and I did!! Ah! Great job again. 
                              
GenXblogger GenXblogger Mar 24, 2011
Present tense is not easy to write in and may sound awkward in places. 
                              I like your story idea and descriptions!
Anni_innA Anni_innA Mar 24, 2011
i love it! the concept is very nice and well thought of. there are a few spelling mistakes though. keep writing!
Peckinpah Peckinpah Mar 22, 2011
@TKAnez  OK, I fixed and uninitialized the dialogues since it seems like a bad move XD thanks for the tip!@tianajade @EvilFlyingCupcake @Tropicall 
                              
                              @EvilFlyingCupcake  will check it out and try and fix it!
                              @Tropicall  thanks for the advice.. I'll keep it in mind next time XD
                              
                              Thanks everyone!
EvilFlyingCupcake EvilFlyingCupcake Mar 20, 2011
Totally agree with @tianajade  and @TKAnez 
                              Only one thing: the first paragraph on the second page, you might want to look at that. Some parts are choppy, and in the beginning of the paragraph, you used the word "hunter" a lot at the start of the sentence.
TKAnez TKAnez Mar 17, 2011
This is really good! I love your concept and I'm glad that you kept this chapter rich with details about the academy. And the way you ending... I can't wait for you to update! The italicized dialogue threw me off a bit, but other than that, I enjoyed reading this story a lot :)