Word Count: 2 640
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
After breakfast we were all allowed to do whatever we wanted. Apparently we are monitored constantly still, by our Watchers, so where we go doesn't even matter. That revelation brought back memories of my almost-death, Ian and my mother. They're supposed to be in here somewhere.
I find myself walking around the base within the capital desperate to do something that will make me calm down a little. I don't want to start fidgeting, because that won't get me anywhere and I'd rather find a way to speak to my mother, figure out how to escape. There's no way we went through all of this for nothing. I can't get two other people incarcerated for me without at least trying and now that they're in here, they also run the risk of exposing everyone else who helped with this whole thing.
I heard someone mention a hover boarding room earlier and so I'm keen on seeing that. It might give me the freedom to think better. I just about get used to the slow slap of my boots on the floor as I walk through every pod, the details of which blend together. It all ranges from open roof tops, rooms where nature itself is captured within the base's walls in the form of indoor parks and waterfalls, to entire chambers dedicated to combat and gaming.
Everything in the capital is over the top and state of the art, which makes sense since all the rich people's homes in all the Krus fall within the capital's radius. I'm half grumbling and marveling over the state of beauty this place possesses when I hear my name.
"Suki?" a voice I've never heard before calls after me.
"Yes?"
"Mrs. Dassin would like to speak with you."
x x x
The room I'm ushered into looks a lot like the gymnasium back at Air Kru: swords, knives, guns, arrows, spears, punching bags, exploding balls & paint, the list goes on and on.
It takes me back to the day of our first observed assessment, seeing Juniper in the gym, arguably the most influential member of the Quad (the main leaders of the four Krus) waiting to judge me.
"Ah, if it isn't Suki, Alora Kione," she begins, dropping a piece of cloth from her face and hastily pulling some calm over herself.
She starts towards a sofa set that under different circumstances would look pretty awkward where it is, but for some reason, here, in this room, it works.
There's a combat arena on a lower floor where a group of Watchers are sparring. They launch fists at each other, hair whipping in waves of brown and blonde in response to their lurching frames. Juniper takes a seat on the couch giving her a perfect view of the commotion. I'm soon deserted by the girl who walked me in here as she hobbles to a corner in the room. (She must be injured ... or she just never learnt to walk properly?)
The young female joins another girl standing with her arms crossed in front of her, staring into space determinedly as if she gets some serious time to do so.
At this point my heart is pounding in both my hands and the backs of my ears. The hard throbs can only be challenged by the alien object in my chest fighting to take up maximum room within my rib cage.
"I was a little curious you know. I just had to speak to you before you died. You are by far the most ambitious Pukka I've come across. It's a little inspiring. 473 other people are in here somewhere and you're the only who got close to surviving," she muses, tilting her head to the side and allowing a small smile to dance across her brims. "Reminds me a little bit of well ... me. There's no need to be frightened child, sit."
I walk towards her, ignoring the urge to be quiet. "Where are they?"
"Oh, so eager to get into things I see. I can already tell you've somehow managed to flush those drugs out, have it your way. I'm more interested in learning about you. For starters, were you actually convinced that you'd make it?" she croons, the over-wide grin on her face never leaving. "I mean, what did you plan to do once you were in Air Kru?"
From my position on the couch next to Juniper it's a little difficult to look unfazed. So I remain silent.
"You know what? I get it, you don't want to incriminate anyone, it's this thing you Kione people do, but I've got to give you props for getting that far. It must suck though, your mother's somewhere in here, getting ready to waste away forever for you ... and you're not even going to live," she continues with an annoyingly massive smile on her face.
I feel my hands ball up into fists before parting my lips again, "At least my mother actually bothered to help me. Your own son can't say the same about you."
"But you see I managed to raise my son to be accepting of his destiny. He knew this would happen. Even if his body is weak, his spirit isn't. He isn't afraid of dying, unlike you," she says, dropping her gaze a little at the mention of her boy. "Kai isn't an exception to the rule ... he understands that. The future of our people is of far greater importance. Don't you see? The end of your kind will do so much for the rest of us. It'll be beautiful," she finishes, half laughing.
I let my eyes trail away from her and look to the little coffee table in front of us. Does she really believe that?
"There is so much about what you just said that's wrong. Things you're missing that make you that much weaker than even me: the 16-year-old Retrograde who infiltrated your beloved Division, birthed by a mother who would do anything for her children."
"Ooh, I'm interested. Do tell," she gasps leaning forward with her tattooed hands clasped together under her chin, she almost giggles.
I see it. She wants to play the crazy game with me. What she doesn't get is that with half the stuff I've been through, I more than know the rules.
"You may think you've got this life thing figured out. You're rich and powerful and yet you birthed not one, but two children diagnosed with the condition you hate so much. If you think that what runs through my body is pure weakness that needs to be eradicated, then what can be said of you, the woman who produced it twice? Are you weak?"
Her gentle smile grows and stretches uncomfortably, turning into a grimace. Her green eyes bathe themselves in a moment of confusion as if asking herself how I know this.
I was bluffing; even if she did have another child first I'm not certain that she was a Pukka too. All I know about Juniper are the things Neave said to me and even then, they aren't confirmed, but her reaction just proves it.
If Neave was right about that, does this mean Juniper might have actually killed her daughter?
"You don't know anything about Kea."
"Don't I? What happened to her Juniper ... your daughter? She was just like me wasn't she? And then she simply disappeared. No one knew about her, I mean how could they? You made sure of it. You hacked away at your own bloodline yourself," I drawl adding a layer of sugar to my tone to help the bitterness go down.
"I didn't do anything and I don't know what you think you're getting out of this, but these are all lies and speculations."
"Oh is that it? You're allowed to call me here for you to gloat and grow your pride a little bit, but as soon as I strike a few chords you don't want me to say anything anymore? Mm, Juniper that's not fair."
She turns her frame towards me, now razor focused on what I've said. Her jaw clenches in the way that Kai's often has practically every time I've seen him and then she purses her lips, showing off a little scar on her chin that's hardly noticeable.
What is it with Air Kru people and scars?
"I'd expect this kind of backwards thinking from you. It's not your own fault really; even if Azura is one of us on a genetic level, she never acted like it. I mean ... it's typical of your mother to raise two failures for daughters. What was your sister's name again ... Aspen?" she purrs and I struggle to hold myself together. "I know all about you girls. I know all about Aspen ... like where she is."
"You can leave her out of this," I cut in. "Your murderous lips don't deserve to speak her name."
She's not serious; she just wants to hurt me.
"Hah!" she laughs, "Me ... a murderer? What on earth goes on in that pretty brown head of yours child?"
I stop for a moment, unsure of what I can say next.
"What happened to you? Why are you so scared of people like me, people like your own children?"
She glares at me, her orbs digging deep into my own, gouging out pieces and flashes of memories I have of the times I've shared with my sister, all the struggles I've gone through living a subdued life. She pushes herself back against the couch and closes her eyes.
"To answer your question, I'd have to remind you of something: being that we have all the same motives Suki – self-preservation is one of them. I've seen you, gone over all the notes your Watchers made of you. I've studied you per say – for interest's sake – and I can read you like an open book. Your eyes hold no secretes from me, because frankly ... you are me. You're everything that I was and could've been had life been a little more different for me.
"If this was some kind of screening process, you'd tick all the boxes. Secretly you're meaner than the average person, proud, vengeful, intelligent, not to be taken for granted ... please stop me when I begin to sound a little less correct."
"You can stop right there, because I'm nothing like you ... I'm not a murderer. What kind of mother kills her own daughter? You're supposed to be a leader and a role model. You talk constantly of the cold, barbaric ways of our ancestors and then continue on to uphold their worst attributes. You're insane."
"Well ... maybe a little," she says, smiling like a possessed doll. "But I assure you, I'm nothing that you aren't. How about I show you a new trick, teach you a little something about you Suki?"
I sit with my brows furrowed, weighed down by an obvious question.
"Bring in Azura and the boy."
My heart lurches at the mention of my mother's name. I've been so desperate to see the two of them, even for a moment. When the girls bring them in, the sight is a bit too much for me to comprehend. While they look clean, their wrists are bound by thin metal cuffs and there are numerous bruises and cuts on their faces.
My mom's still-brims boil to a constant quiver as tears well up in her eyes, mirrored by my own. Ian's hair is a disheveled mess and his lips are cracked, but his demeanor is still as composed as ever. I'm shocked to hear a very distinct sound to my left where Juniper is and when I look in her direction I realise what made it. A gun. Shiny silver glistens, bouncing back ten times in my mind seeing as I can't come to terms with its existence.
"Please don't do thi-"
"What was it you called me? A murderer?"
"You wouldn't-"
She raises her brows at me and then narrows her gaze as if considering it.
"Yeah, you're right," she says, blowing out a massive sigh. "I won't."
My shoulders slouch as my heart desperately tries to pound to the beat called for by the sudden change in circumstances.
"But only, because you will."
My mother's tears are running rampant down her face, but she doesn't say anything to me, neither does Ian.
"I'm not doing that."
She gives an airy laugh, "Relax. You don't need to dispose of both. One will suffice, your pick, but you have to. If you abstain, my girls will kill them for you ... both of them."
"What's the point in doing this?" I ask bitterly, biting down on my lip slightly in an attempt to relieve some of the tension.
"I don't know? Maybe it's the supposed murderess in me talking," she says handing me the gun.
The weapon is heavy in my hands. I struggle to wrap my fingers around it like there are miniature weights attached to each muscle follicle in the small appendages just passed my wrists. I look at Ian with hot tears in my eyes, blurring the image of him. His face is still indifferent; he doesn't let on any emotion, making the contrast my mother offers bone shattering. It rocks through me and wells up in the pits of my soul – love encased in a bubble of fear.
They are ushered forward so that they're standing right in front of me, now also held at gunpoint by the two female Watchers. (Is this seriously in their job descriptions?) My mother looks at me, her lips still aquiver, but she nods her head in resignation as if giving me permission t-to shoot her?
How could I?
Ian's dark eyes slice through me as he takes me in. He licks an even brighter shade of pink onto his lips and then clenches his jaw again, closing his eyes for a long moment. I allow myself to consider it – turning the gun on Juniper instead, but I can't risk something going wrong. They'll be shot before I can even pull the trigger. I can't do that. They won't even be able to help me fight with both arms bound, they're powers inhibited and a barrel to each of their heads.
I'm lifting the gun long before I've even decided who the target is, swallowing heavily as my tears continue their seemingly never ending stream. By now I'm panting, my lungs aren't strong enough to rap enough oxygen into my body. My brain is barely functioning and my head is spinning. My eyes close before I can change my mind and I finally point the barrel at somebody's chest and pull the trigger ... barely.
Click.
My eyelids fly open fast enough to watch Ian's body crumple to the ground, guilt almost knocking me to my knees with him.
How could I?
"Just as I thought ... you'd do anything for your mother ... even murder. They key difference between you and I ... is that I'd do anything for my people."
The shot is so clean I can hardly see any blood splatters. Fear and dread have me crippled and unsure of what to do next.
He didn't deserve this.
A sob builds up in my chest and bursts out as I drop the gun, covering my mouth with both hands. My mother rushes to me, risking being shot in the back of the head, but with her hands still bound she can't even touch me.
"Oh, and just by the way. That was a dart gun."
Before I can fully comprehend what has just been said a deep, stinging sensation stretching into the back of my shoulder bites into my skin. I find myself falling to the side as my mother is rushed away and then it's all black.
How nice.
X X X
A/N
What would you have done? Honestly ...
I'm not too happy with this chapter, but I'll fix it eventually 😹🤦🏽♀️
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