Baby It's Cold Outside
The people of Remnant didn't know how long they had been falling. All they knew that there was no end in sight and that music was playing on a loop. They tried to keep track of time by counting the number of times the song had looped, but they gave up after the tenth 'All I want for Christmas is you'.
"So, have any threes?" Ruby asked, playing cards with Weiss while they were falling through an endless abyss. Good thing it was well lit enough that they weren't blind.
"No," Weiss said. "And can we change games now?"
"But this is the only card game I know," Ruby whined.
"Seriously, how long have we been in here?" Yang asked.
"Too long," Blake said. "I can't get that song out of my head. Nora's singing isn't helping either."
"All I want for Christmas is you, baby!" Nora sang like there was no tomorrow.
"Please stop," Ren begged.
"And why are there so many mistletoes around me?" Jaune asked.
"Oh, I'm sure we can take advantage of that," Pyrrha said as she pulled him in for another kiss. It was tradition after all.
"Man, that song is both catchy and hard to get out of your head," Sun said.
"I know," Neptune said. "But don't you think an endless loop of it is a bit much?"
"Who cares?" Sage groaned. "Just change to music already!"
"I mean, there has to be more music than this?" Scarlet said.
Coco was browsing through a Christmas catalogue. "Hmm, this red dress looks festive enough. And a matching hat too."
"I like that green one," Velvet said.
"We should get these elf outfits for Yatsu and Fox," Coco said.
The two male members of their team shivered. They had a feeling they were about to be turned into living mannequins, and they didn't like it.
"This bores me," Salem said, as if falling through an endless space was nothing to be concerned about.
"How many rounds of mind chess have we finished?" Ozpin asked.
"This is our tenth round, I think," Salem said. "Rook to B3. Check."
"Knight to E2. Checkmate," Ozpin said. "That's 6-5 in my favour."
"Another round?" Salem asked.
"Sure," Ozpin said.
"How are you not concerned by this!" Watts yelled.
"You get used to it," they both said.
"I think I can see something," Jacques said.
"Is it more coal?" Nicolas asked in a bored tone. Ever since they got in here, Jacques had been hit with lumps of coal every now and then. His face was black and not a spot on him remained clean.
"That stopped being funny after the third time," Willow said.
"And somehow they always avoid us," Whitley said.
"I could swear one lump stopped just as it was about to hit me, only to swerve and hit father in the face instead," Winter said.
"Whatever it is, I like it," Adam said.
"You just like watching him suffer," Sienna said.
"And you don't?" Ilia asked.
"Well, maybe in moderation," Sienna said.
"I wonder how much longer we'll be here?" Ironwood said.
"Uncertain," Penny said. "My timekeeping software appears to be malfunctioning. All that it can tell me is to 'Keep Waiting'."
"That was helpful," Robyn sighed.
"I think I see a portal!" Oscar yelled.
"Well, it's about damn time!" Roman said.
They fell through said portal, ending up back where they were before being thrown out.
"So, how was your journey?" Zack asked.
"We have been falling, for 30 minutes!" Cardin yelled.
"I thought it was longer than that," Raven said.
"Pretty sure it was far longer than just 30 minutes," Oobleck said.
"I know," Cardin said. "But that just seemed to be the thing to yell when falling out of a portal."
"That's preposterous," Glynda said.
"Is it?" Port said. "We've seen some weird things so far."
"Good point," Glynda conceded.
Cinder tried to pounce and strangle Zack, but he just held her there like a little kitten.
"Did you really think that would work?" Zack asked, amused. "Anyway, do you like what I've done with the place?"
"Whoa!" Saphron said as they looked around.
The whole place was decked with Christmas decorations, there was even a tree in the place of pride, right next to the stupidly big TV they watched different worlds on.
"Gingerbread man?" Zack asked.
"Ooh, sure!" Ruby said as she took one.
"Right, so what are we watching now?" Summer asked.
"A duet," Zack said.
"A duet, as in two people singing?" Ghira asked.
"Yup."
"Lame," Tyrian said.
"I ran out of ideas," Zack admitted.
"Well, let's see it then," Amber said.
An elevator door opened, and inside was a young Weiss who was powdering her nose while a young Neptune dressed as a bellboy stood next to her.
Neptune's eyes turned to look at Weiss, and immediately looked away when Weiss turned towards him.
Weiss smirked, having caught his look, before keeping her compact and walking out the elevator.
"Aww, look at you," Yang said. "Already having the boys look at you when you were a kid."
"She was so cute as a kid," Winter said nostalgically.
"She is so out of your league," Sun said to Neptune.
"I thought you were my bro on this matter!" Neptune said.
"Bros before hoes, Neptune," Scarlet said.
"Are you calling me a hoe?" Weiss asked, dangerously.
"Hope you're afterlife is peaceful, kid," Roman said as poor Scarlet was beaten up by Weiss.
"OOH!!!" Whitley winced. "Where did she learn that?"
"I may have shown her some of the less than pleasant moves you learn from associating with faunus rights activists," Blake said.
"I like that," Sienna said. "Better sounding than terrorist."
Neptune rushed out of the elevator seconds later, looking at Weiss as she walked towards her luggage being held by Sun.
He took off his hat, unbuttoned his coat and threw it over Sage.
"Not cool, man," Sage said.
"Sorry," Neptune said. "But I got a girl to catch."
"Hmm," Willow looked him over. "I suppose he's not too bad."
"Mother!" Weiss said.
"A duet..." Robyn said. "Hey kid, you can sing?"
"Well, I suppose I'm not half bad," Neptune said.
Weiss accepted her luggage from Sun, as Sage walked over with a black coat for Neptune, Neptune's red bellboy coat still on his head.
Neptune put on the black coat and rushed over to Weiss, jumping around a trolley and stopping in front of her.
Weiss: I really can't stay
Weiss moved to the side, just as Sun came over with her coat. Neptune matched her action.
Neptune: Baby it's cold outside
Weiss: I got to go away
Neptune: Baby it's cold outside
Neptune moved in front of her as she tried to leave.
Weiss: This evening has been
Neptune grabbed her bag and handed it to Sun.
Neptune: Been hoping that you'd dropped in
Weiss: So very nice
Neptune: I'll hold your hands they're just like ice
"Whoa!" Cardin said.
"Dude, you have some great vocals," Jaune said.
"It's nice to hear you sing something more upbeat," Ruby said. "Mirror Mirror was just so sad."
"Maybe you two should sing together for real," Coco said.
"Hmm, I suppose I could try to write a song that's more... happy," Weiss said. She had the good memories for it nowadays.
"Please schedule it properly if you wish to do it in Beacon," Glynda said. "Unlike some other former students I know who didn't bother booking the auditorium before playing that ruckus they passed off as music."
"Think she's talking about us?" Qrow said.
"Well, I still think it was great," Tai huffed.
"It wasn't," Summer and Raven deadpanned.
"You know, we really need to get more embarrassing stories about mom and dad," Yang said.
"If you have the time, I have plenty of them," Port said.
"We'll pass!" Ruby and Yang said at once. No amount of blackmail on their parents was worth sitting through one of his stories.
They started dancing in the lobby as Jaune and Pyrrha watched from the receptionist desk.
Weiss: My mother will start to worry
"Oh, don't worry," Willow said. "Stay for as long as you want."
Neptune: Beautiful what's your hurry?
Weiss: My father will be pacing the floor
Weiss snorted. "Unlikely."
Nicolas turned towards his son in law. "Your daughter is not home when there's a blizzard and you're not worried?"
"I have servants for that," Jacques said.
"It's times like these that I wonder how he managed to have three children," Watts said.
"Probably took advantage of her when she was drunk," Cinder said.
"Sounds about right," Hazel said.
Neptune: Listen to the fireplace roar
Weiss: So really I'd better scurry
Neptune: Beautiful please don't hurry
Scarlet walked in and handed them both soda pops.
Weiss: Well maybe just a soda pop more
Neptune: I'll put some records on while I pour
Weiss: The neighbours might think
Neptune: Baby it's bad out there
Weiss handed Scarlet her soda pop, some whipped cream on her nose.
Weiss: Say was that a wink?
Neptune wiped her nose with a handkerchief.
Neptune: No cabs to be had out there
"Aww, that's so adorable," Kali said.
"I wish I had a camera to capture this moment," Willow said wistfully.
"Done," Zack said, handing her a framed picture.
"My life is ruined," Weiss sighed.
"Soda pop?" Neptune offered, having one of his own.
"Thanks," Weiss said, accepting it.
"Hmm, should we ship this?" Melanie asked.
"Why not?" Miltia said. "I mean, everyone's been paired with a few different people already."
"Mostly the blonde boy," Junior said. "Seriously, is there a girl he hasn't been paired with?"
Salem coughed.
"We can fix that," Zack said. Hmm, who to choose... Who to choose... This wasn't as easy as he thought it would be.
"Please don't," Ozpin said.
"So many possible future sisters in law," Saphron giggled.
Jaune felt a chill go down his back. As if his love life was about to be subjected to great scrutiny by the most terrifying people he knew. His seven sisters and mom.
The two continued dancing.
Weiss: I wish I knew how
Neptune: Your eyes are like starlight now
Weiss: To break this spell
Neptune: I'll take your hat. Your hair looks swell
Neptune took off Weiss' hat and threw it away.
"You don't seem to be trying all that hard to get away," Vernal said.
"She probably likes getting serenaded," Emerald said.
"Well, when it's done properly at least," Weiss said.
"Oh yeah," Pyrrha said.
"Jaune's disaster of an attempted serenade," Ren said.
"Watch and learn from the best, my friend," Neptune said.
"I will when the best shows himself," Jaune said.
"Ooh, burn," Sun said.
Weiss: I ought to get home for dinner
Neptune: Mind if move in closer?
Weiss: So it's time for me to cast you aside
Neptune: What's the sense of hurting my pride?
Weiss: I really can't stay
Neptune: Baby don't hold out
The two sat on some chairs, two others sitting on the side chairs holding up their newspapers.
Both: Baby it's cold outside
"You're really pushy, you know," Weiss said.
"I like to think of it as opportunistic," Neptune said.
"Hmm, I wonder how this would look if they were older," Summer said.
"Probably with wine instead of soda pops," Raven said.
"Maybe cigarettes too," Ironwood said.
Neptune looked into a mirror, where his older-self straightened out his coat.
Weiss looked into a mirror, where her older-self pointed at her encouragingly.
They were now on a balcony overlooking the lobby.
Weiss: I simply must go
Neptune: Baby it's cold outside
Weiss left Neptune there.
Weiss: So thanks for the show
Neptune: But baby it's cold outside
"Don't just stand there, go after her," Ghira said.
"Patience, old man," Neptune said. "I got this."
"Old!" Ghira sputtered.
"You are getting there, dad," Blake said.
"Betrayed by my own daughter," Ghira mumbled.
"Is that a grey hair?" Mercury said.
"Where?!" Ghira said, checking his head.
"There, there, dear," Kali said. "You look just fine."
They danced on the stairs.
Weiss: The welcome has been
Neptune: How lucky that you dropped in
Weiss: So nice and warm
Neptune: Look out the window at that storm
Weiss: My sister will be suspicious
"Very," Winter nodded.
"Oh, let them have their fun," Willow said.
Ruby whispered into Fox's ear.
Neptune: Gosh your lips look delicious!
Weiss: My brother will be there at the door
"More like Klein will," Whitley said.
"Like you wouldn't be looking out from the stairs," Weiss said.
"No I won't," Whitley denied.
"Sure," Winter said. She didn't believe that at all.
Jaune looked up from his newspaper.
Neptune: Waves upon a tropical shore
Weiss: My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
Yang looked at them from where she dusted a tree ornament.
Neptune: Gosh your lips are delicious!
Weiss: Well maybe just another dance more
Neptune: Never such a blizzard before
"She's almost convinced," Neptune said.
"It just took a song and a dance through a crowded hotel lobby to do it," Oscar said.
"Well, she's a classy girl," Neptune said. "They have standards."
"Must be low standards if she's dating you," Adam said.
"Ouch," Nicolas said.
They danced in the lobby, where a bunch of trolleys were moving about.
Weiss: I've got to get home
Neptune: Baby you'll freeze out there
Weiss: Say lend me your comb
Neptune: It's up to your knees out there!
Weiss: You've really been grand,
Neptune: I feel when I touch your hand
Weiss: But don't you see?
Neptune: How can you do this thing to me?
Several people who were sitting on chairs with newspapers covering their faces danced.
Neptune and Weiss were back to back as they sung.
Weiss: There's bound to be talk tomorrow
Neptune: Think of my lifelong sorrow!
Sun shook his head as he cleaned a glass, while Jaune looked at them over his newspaper.
Weiss: At least there will be plenty implied
Neptune: If you caught pneumonia and died!
Weiss: I really can't stay
Neptune: Get over that hold out
They looked up and spread out their arms.
Both: Baby it's cold
Both: Baby it's cold outside
"Well, I suppose I can stay for a bit longer," Weiss said.
"That took a lot of convincing," Neptune said.
"Hoozah, how was that suppose to be related to Oummas?" Oobleck asked.
"The theme, obviously," Glynda said.
"Well, that was fun," Zack said. "But back to our regular schedule."
"So, what's next?" Penny asked.
"A choice," Zack said. "A choice that a certain someone must make. One option, they wake up and believe whatever they want to believe. The other, they stay in Wonderland, and see just how deep the rabbit-hole goes."
"Sounds... ominous," Jaune said.
"Well, it has guns, lots of guns," Zack said. "And a whole lot of black outfits."
"Sweet," Qrow said. "Sounds like the world where I'm an assassin."
"Eh, I'm using a different guy," Zack said. "But on with the show!"