Sirius' head was pounding, and James shaking him aggressively didn't help. He grumbled and rolled over in a vague hope that James would bugger off. But of course he didn't. Soon Sirius felt the bed shake as James was clearly jumping up and down on his bed.
"Get up! Get up! Get up!" James said in a sing song voice.
"Screw off its Sunday!" Sirius said pulling his pillow from below his head and tossed it as hard as he could at James, who was grinning way too much. He caught the pillow easily, and laughed before hitting Sirius with it "Good why did I give you a weapon"
"Come on! Remus, and Peter are already at breakfast, and if we do not go now we won't be there in time for food." James said, and he really had no right to be this chipper.
"Fine just get off" Sirius said pushing James leg meekly but he jumped off willingly. "And don't be too loud"
James just laughed lightly running over to get dressed. Sirius moved a lot more slowly, as he climbed out of bed and got dressed. He looked over at Remus' bed and began to wonder if it meant anything that he hadn't woken Sirius up before he left for breakfast. Perhaps the fair haired boy was mad, or uncomfortable with what had happened last night. Sirius himself was a little over whelmed, definately not mad or uncomfortable but confused. His mind, and body had been aching for Remus since they return to Hogwarts, but he knew he had ruined any chances at that. He didn't deserve Remus, and that was clear. That fact Remus allowed Sirius be in his life at all was a true act of kindness on Remus' part. But Sirius felt selfish, he wanted more, and last night with the help of the fire whiskey he had got more.
"Oh come on!" James said suddenly his voice suddenly annoyed, and Sirius looked at him confused. "Are we actually not going to talk about last night"
Sirius went pale. Had Remus told him, like actually told him. Why? What did that mean? Was that a good thing? A bad thing? He was sure he had stopped breathing now. What was he suppose to say. But luckily James wasn't even looking at him, he seemed completely off in his own world.
"Are you seriously not going to ask me about what happened on my walk with Lily?" James said like the fact Sirius hadn't mentioned it as soon as he woke up was a tragedy.
"Right Evans." Sirius said letting out a sigh of relief he hoped James wouldn't notice "How was it?"
Sirius finally slide on his shoes, and him and James started to head down to breakfast.
"It was amazing, like mind blowing." James rambled in a daze "Like nothing actually happened, we just walked around, and talked. She told me about her sister, and what her parents think about Hogwarts. I talked about my family too. It was just so easy talking to her. Before we knew it the sun was rising. I only slept like three hours last night, but it was so worth it."
"Wow" Sirius said genuiely surprised "You really like her"
"Well duh, I've only talked about it everyday since first year." James said rolling his eyes. The common room was pretty crowded as it was too cold to go outside, and most students were done with breakfast. All evidence of the party the night before had disappear, and Sirius made a mental note to thank every Hogwarts house elf.
"Yeah I know but" Sirius started not exactly sure how to articulate what he was thinking "It just always seemed like a bit of a joke. Like you just wanted to get her to like you cause she doesn't. I never really thought you actually loved her."
James was silent for a second as they made their way down the stairs. It was pretty unusual for Sirius and James to not be chatting, and Sirius couldn't tell if he offended James. But eventually James spoke a little softer than normal.
"It might have started like that. Like when we were 11, and she was just the pretty girl who thought we were annoying. But now, its like I want to be around her all the time. I want her to be safe, and happy more than anything else." James said.
"Holy shit" Sirius said grinning at his friend. "You know what that means?"
James shook his head but also smiled once he saw the grin on his best mates face.
"You're all grown up." Sirius said wrapping a friendly arm around James' shoulder.
"Now we only have two jobs left." James said as they finally walked into the great hall. "One we some how convince Lily Evans she loves me too, and we get married."
"Okay, we'll get started right away" Sirius said "And the second job'
"Find you someone" James said.
Just then Sirius looked at the Gryffindor table, and saw Lily, Peter, and Remus, sitting around. Remus honestly look exhausted. If Sirius didn't know better he would have thought it was the day after the full moon. But when Remus finally looked up at him at him his face smiled brightly. Sirius could have melted. He felt a great sense of relief that Remus at least didn't outwardly hate him.
"All over it" Sirius said with a wink and then hurried away from James before he could be bombarded with questions.
"Morning!" Lily said smiling as James took a seat next to her.
"Morning" James and Sirius replied in unison. Sirius took a seat next to Remus, and very gently nudge their arms together "Morning"
"Good Morning" Remus replied "You feeling alright?"
"Oh you know only like I got run over by the Night Bus, twice" Sirius said but he couldn't help but grin. "You?"
"Well I've vowed to myself to never drink any mysterious liquor you give me. Ever again" Remus said and for a second Sirius smile faultered as he wondered wether this was Remus way of saying he didn't enjoy last night. Remus seemed to notice this and immedaitely added "It was fun though"
"Glad you had fun" A very bitter Peter muttered from under his hat. "I'll never get a date to Hogsmede now."
"Oh come off it Peter" Lily said "I know the counter charm, I can fix your hair in five minutes."
Peter's mood improved at this. And the rest of breakfast of mostly the group discussing who had hooked up with who at the party last night. Sirius blushed a little and tried not to look directly at Remus because he knew if he did he'd break out laughing.
"We walked passed Alice and Frank" Lily said as she finished her eggs "They were way too dishevelled to have not been up to something."
"Yeah they are barely making an effort at hiding it anymore." James said.
"Can we please go fix my hair" Peter whined.
"Careful Wormtail you are starting to sound like Padfoot" Remus said in his teasing tone and Sirius smiled bumping their shoulders together.
"I don't care. I'll turn into a dog right now if it means someone will put hair back on my head" Peter said, starting to get up from the table.
"Okay let's do it" Lily said laughing a little as Sirius muttered about how Peter could never pull off a dog. Sirius got up hoping to follow, thinking he might be able to sabotage the hair being reattached and give Peter a bald spot.
"Oh come on Padfoot" Remus said sounding exhausted but having a gleam in his eye.
"Huh" Sirius said genuinely confused as the group started to head out of the great hall.
"You aren't getting out of this" Remus said and Sirius raised his eyebrows very confused now.
"Getting out of..." Sirius said as the groups stop in the Front Hall.
"You said you'd help me with the potions essay" Remus said and Sirius had abosultely no clue what was going on. The group stopped in the enterance hall, and everyone was looking at Remus, James finally vocalized what was on their collectives mind.
"Sirius is rubbish at potions, why would he help you"
Remus faultered a little at this but quickly replied "Yeah well he spilt ink all over mine, so he said he would help me rewrite it"
"Oh" James said apparently completely placated with this answer, and to be honest it did sound like Sirius would do. But as hard as he searched his brain he could not remember when that happened "Okay well good luck Padfoot, see you both later"
And with that James, Lily, and Peter were off. Sirius turned to head to the library, when he heard Remus laughed lightly.
"What?" Sirius said turning to look at Remus, smiling as soon as he saw Remus whose face was lit up.
"You know you didn't actually spill ink on my essay right?" Remus said.
"I figured I just forgot" Sirius replied blushing mildly but smiling as well "Sounds like me"
"I don't need help with my potions essay just thought maybe we should talk" Remus said and pulled something from his back pocket which Sirius soon realized was the map "Here the History of Magic classroom is empty."
Sirius found himself nodding, though nervous, he was pretty sure he would never say no to being alone with Remus. He hurried behind Remus as he scurried to down the quiet hall. They passed a group of girls who were giggling and pointing at Sirius. Remus took a step closer to Sirius at this, which had Sirius beaming. Fortunately the history of magic classroom was close, and soon Remus was shutting the door behind him. Sirius gut turned a little as Remus locked the door.
"You alright there, Padfoot?" Remus said. Sirius nerves must be noticeable which only made him more nervous. He felt his face blush and kept his eyes glued to the ground as he made his way to the window sitting on the window sill.
"I'm just sorry" Sirius said, and he felt Remus sit next to him.
"Oh god what did you do" Remus said, and Sirius looked up seeing him smiling "I swear if you touched my books"
"No I just mean last night. And you were gone when I woke up, and now you are saying we have to talk. Please just don't stop being my friend again I really don't think I could take it. I-" Sirius rambled but suddenly he felt a hand being place gently and almost tentively over his.
"Merlin Padfoot do I look like Professor Mcgonagall? You aren't in trouble" He said though Sirius couldn't keep his eyes off where Remus hand lay, unmoving, over his.
"I'm not?" Sirius said hopefully.
"I was just thinking about what you said last night." Remus said and there was certainly an air of nervousness in his voice as well. Sirius couldn't stand it anymore, and quickly flipped his hand around so his fingers slotted between Remus'. For one heart stopping moment the tension in the fair haired boy's hand made Sirius think he was about to pull it away, disgusted. But slowly his hand relaxed. "About you know friends."
"Right" Sirius muttered starting to twiddle with Remus' fingers.
"And I think you're right" Remus said.
"I'm always right" Sirius said lightly watching with awe at how Remus smiled. "But what exactly are you on about"
"Well we are friends" Remus said and Sirius nodded with a duh expression on his face "And since we tried not being friends, and it wasn't a ton of fun, I never really want to do that again."
"Ditto"
"But what you said makes sense too. Muggles actually have a word for it" Remus said and Sirius couldn't stop himself.
"Oh muggle words I know all of them. Television, Snow White, Boat" Sirius said and Remus chuckled again looking incredibly fond.
"How is boat a muggle word" He said.
"I don't know" He said grinning and leaning slightly closer. "muggles go on boats. What is your new muggle word of the day."
"They call it friends with benefits" Remus said "You know we stay friends first, but you are just coming out and figuring stuff out. And if we want to do something else as well..."
Remus' voice trailed off a little at the end, and his face was crimson. Sirius' heart was doing back flips. As much as he wanted to hold Remus' face in his hands and tell him he didn't need to figure anything out, that he was falling shockingly quickly, semi painfully, and fucking amazingly for Remus. But if this 'friends with benefits' thing meant he could reach up and kiss Remus he was all in.
"So" Sirius leaning closer and closer to Remus who seems a little shocked just staring blankly back "This means I can kiss you"
"I mean if you want" Remus said his voice shaky.
"I'll let you in on a secret" Sirius whispered there noses bumping now "I literally always want to kiss you"
And when Sirius finally placed his lips on Remus his mouth was turned up in a smile. Immediately though Remus placed both of his hands on the side of Sirius' face. And Sirius melted into him, clinging to the front of Remus' cotton muggle t-shirt just as much to bring Remus' close and anchor himself to earth. Slowly Remus' hands moved to Sirius' hair, and a light tugged which Sirius was sure this was attempted murder. Gaining a little confidence Sirius moved one of his legs and straddled Remus, who easily took him into his arms holding him close.
When eventually they came up for air they were both grinning. Sirius would have been totally happy to spend the rest of his life looking at the joyous, yet slightly wrecked expression on this boy. He laughed a little nuzzling his nose into Remus scarred cheek.
"What is so funny" Remus said tightening his arms around Sirius' waist.
"You are like the best friend ever"
Author's Note
Happy Christmas! It's been a weird year but I hope everyone had a safe, and lovely Christmas. I wanted to let everyone know I am working on a new fanfiction. It's still wolfstar, but very different from this one. It is a soulmate AU taking place after they leave Hogwarts. The first chapter should be out in a couple of days, sooo stay tuned if you want to read it!