Four years ago
"What do you think about this?" Taehyung said smiling as he strung out a chord with his guitar.
Jimin nodded his head. "Yeah...I think that's good. It sounds better if you play it that way"
Taehyung smiled and began to play making Jimin nod along to the sound. When he finished, Jimin clapped his hands.
"Wow Tae, that's lovely"
His friend looked confused. "Do you think it will do for the audition?"
"It's perfect Tae" Jimin whispered looking so softly at him that Taehyung couldn't help but blush.
"Thanks"
They were at the back of Taehyung's house. Jimin put on his jacket.
"I'm leaving..." He muttered.
"So soon?"
Jimin shrugged. "Sorry. I have to go earn some money. Besides, your parents wouldn't be happy if they find out I'm still helping you with music"
Taehyung frowned. "I don't know. Why can't they understand that music makes me happy"
Jimin shrugged. "Well, not all parents are understanding"
"You're right" Taehyung murmured sadly.
Jimin stared at him for a while looking thoughtful then he said. "I heard that your older brother is coming home today"
Taehyung shrugged. "Yeah...Jin is coming home. The darling perfect son" he said with a hint of sarcasm.
"But at least you're happy"
"Yeah... he's the only one who understands me at all"
"Maybe you can get him to convince your parents to let you do music"
"I'll try"
They shook hands and Jimin waved at him before leaving. That night, his parents waited with bated breath for the arrival of their first son.
Taehyung watched them feeling mildly jealous. He had never seen this much concern for himself. He didn't blame them though. Jin was perfect. While in highschool, he always came tops in his class. He was a math wiz, winning numerous competitions. He was not only academically bright, he was also good at sports and was the ace player at his high school basketball team. When he graduated, he was the veledictarian. He was simply their parents pride and joy excelling in every aspect of life that the Kim couple couldn't help but brag about their eldest son's achievement.
Whereas, he Taehyung was the exact opposite. He wasn't as academically bright as Jin and definitely wasn't sporty. The only thing he loved was music but to his parents, that was a complete waste of time. They had wanted him to become a medical doctor but he had vehemently rejected the idea insisting that his passion was music. His parents were disappointed and tried as much as they could to tarnish his dream. They were still trying but Taehyung wouldn't give them a chance.
It had been a year since Jin had gotten admission at Seoul University to study Architecture. It was his dream to design buildings for people to live in and his parents supported him especially since it was something that could secure his future.
When Jin finally came home that day, their parents doted on him to the extent it almost made Taehyung throw up.
"Son...eat up. You've gotten so thin. You must have been working so hard" Mrs Kim said.
"I'm okay Mom" Jin answered with a smile.
Taehyung watched quietly from a corner completely invisible to the rest of the family. At least, that was what he thought.
That night, Taehyung was preparing for bed when Jin bundled into his room. Taehyung was quite surprised seeing him there.
"Jin, what are you doing here?"
Jin beamed brightly "Just wanted to spend some time with you. That's all"
Taehyung rolled his eyes. "You don't need to"
Jin sat on the bed and tapped the empty space beside him.
"Come on, talk to me. Talk to your big brother"
Jin was five years older than Taehyung and always treated him like a little kid but they were very close.
Taehyung scoffed. "why should I? You are even a part of my problem"
Jin had an amused grin on his face. "me? How so?"
Taehyung rolled his eyes "Cause you're the perfect son. They compare me with you all the time. They want me to be just like you but I'm not you. I'm my own person!" Taehyung yelled
Jin sighed. "Is this about you doing music?"
Taehyung slumped his head as he finally sat down on the empty space beside Jin.
"Yes it is. I want to be a singer. I want to be a record producing artist showing lots of love to people through my songs. I want people to hear my voice but mom and dad won't let me"
Taehyung shook his head. "I'm taking part in a music audition next week but they are trying to stop me"
Jin sighed heavily and patted his brother on the head. "I know it's hard but I'll be with you all the way"
Taehyung looked up completely shocked. He stared at Jin like he was looking at him with his new eyes.
Jin began to speak "Things aren't as easy as you think. They aren't just black and white. The only reason why I studied so hard was to satisfy our parents...you know how they are, they are really controlling and they expect us to be perfect"
Taehyung couldn't catch his meaning "Jin what are you talking about?"
"I had something i loved too and was deeply passionate about... photography, but Mom and Dad wouldn't hear it because they felt like i would be wasting my time. So I chose the next best thing. Architecture."
He smiled fondly at Taehyung. "But I don't want the same to happen to you. I want you to do what you always wanted. I want you to be happy"
Tears began to form in Taehyung's eyes. "Does this mean you'll support me?"
"Of course I will"
"But why?"
Jin took a deep breath. "Well...I wanted so much for a little brother. I even prayed for it and nagged mom and Dad about it all the time. They didn't want to have more children but finally my prayers were answered because Mom got pregnant with you. I told God that if I got a little brother, I would do anything for him. I would support him and take care of him...then you came"
Taehyung blushed.
Jin continued. "When I meant support him, I meant in every way. I know your secret Taehyung. I know since that day you were calling your friend Jimin's name in your sleep and had a big boner the next morning"
Taehyung's face turned red as he hit Jin on the chest extremely embarrassed.
"That happened a long time ago. it's over now. I don't see him that way anymore. Besides, I also like girls"
Jin grinned. "That you do but you still have wet dreams right?"
Taehyung's face swelled. "Yah...shut up"
Jin burst out laughing, his voice deep and mellow. It was infectious so Taehyung ended up laughing as well. After a few seconds, their laughter died down and Taehyung looked at his brother with awe.
"Thanks Jin...for taking my side"
"We only have each other. We should look out for one another"
Taehyung nodded and hugged him tightly.
"Love you Jin"
It was cringey to him because he had never said it before but when he felt his brother's hands tapping his back reassuredly, the awkwardness disappeared.
"Love you too Tae Tae"
Then he separated from him. "Too many emotions. Come on, let's go to bed" Jin said and they went to sleep.
A week passed and the audition day came. There was loud shouting and arguments heard from the Kim residence early that morning.
"I can't believe you are supporting your brother in ruining his own life" Mrs Kim yelled.
Jin sighed tiredly. He had been arguing with his parents for nearly an hour "Taehyung isn't ruining his life mom. You two are. Not all musicians are worthless. Some even go ahead to become stars with hard work. Besides, Taehyung has so much talent. Why can't you see that?"
"You can say whatever you want but Taehyung isn't stepping an inch from this house" Mr Kim threatened.
Jin smiled. "Fine. You leave me no choice then"
He cleared his throat and glared at them "If you don't let Taehyung go, I'm going to drop out of school and begin photography"
The couple were aghast. "What?" They both yelled.
Jin narrowed his eyes at them. "Mom, dad, you know I'm not bluffing"
Mr Kim fumed "How dare you threaten your parents?"
"You left me no choice" Jin answered non chalantly.
The two of them grumbled looking extremely unwilling but their hands were tied and Jin wasn't an kid they could control "Okay fine" Mr Kim said "We'll let him go for now but it's not over"
Jin turned to Taehyung. "Okay now little bro. Go!"
Taehyung smiled still in disbelief that Jin managed to do this for him. "Thank you...are you coming later?"
"I'm right behind you"
Taehyung looked at the scowls on his parents face. It shook him but it wasn't enough to deter him so he ran.
He took the bus and finally arrived at the venue where people were already gathered. He registered himself and was given his number. There were cameras and paparazzis due to the presence of big celebrities at the event. Taehyung was back stage, a bundle of nerves as he waited his turn. He called Jimin a few minutes ago and the latter finally arrived.
"You better pay me. I left work because of you" Jimin said pretending to be grumpy as he walked towards him.
"Don't worry. If I make it big, I'll be giving you a monthly salary"
Jimin laughed heartily then he looked at Taehyung. "How about Jin?"
"He said he would be coming. He should be here by now. I wonder what's keeping him so long" Taehyung said looking worried.
Jimin shrugged. "It's probably your parents..."
But Taehyung felt a pain in his chest. He didn't know why but he was feeling a strange foreboding. After an hour passed, it was his turn but then he received a call. It was his mom.
The first thing he heard was an agonizing cry. Her voice was filled with extreme pain.
"It's all your fault... it's all your fault!"
"Mom?"
"It's your brother. He had an accident.... he's... he's..."
He heard a loud thud and the line went dead. His mother had probably collapsed. Fear and anguish filled him. He turned to look at Jimin who was also answering a call. His face was pale and he was biting his lips with so much strength, it could bleed at any moment. When the call ended, he turned to Taehyung with red rimmed eyes.
"I'm sorry Taehyung... your brother Jin...."
Tears began to fall down Jimin's eyes and Taehyung grew weak. His number was being called but he didn't hear anything. He found himself running and running till he was out of the venue. He didn't want to believe it. He didn't even want to hear it. Suddenly, he couldn't breathe. He heard voices around him, faces were spinning. He lost his strength completely and was about to hit the ground when a hand caught him. He looked up at Jimin who looked almost as bad as he did.
"Pull yourself together Tae....you have to or you won't be able to move on" he whispered.
"I don't want to pull myself together!"
"I know...I understand."
Taehyung ripped himself off from him. "No you don't. It's my fault. It's my fault"
Then he stumbled and fell into Jimin's arms. Before long, he had fainted. When he awoke, he was at home lying on the bed. What happened had only been a horrible dream but when he sat up and saw his parents staring at him with lifeless faces, he realized the night mare was far from over. This was his inescapable reality
"It's your fault your brother's dead" Mrs Kim whispered, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the wall.
Mr Kim said "If it weren't because of your stupid audition, Jin wouldn't have encountered the accident he experienced today all because he was rushing to see you"
Taehyung's lips trembled. "But...I ...I..."
"You shut up!" Mrs Kim screamed. "There's nothing you can say. As far as i know, the least you can do is to pay for killing your brother. You are going to erase your useless life and become him. That's the only way we can even tolerate your existence" she cried and walked off slamming the door behind her.
Mr Kim gave him a disgusted look before leaving as well. Taehyung wanted to bury himself in the ground. He hadn't felt as much depression as he did that day. Two days later, Jin was buried. His body was barely recognizable after the collision he had with the truck. Ever since then, everything changed for the worse with the Kims but Taehyung changed the most.
He burnt all his musical instruments and succumbed to his parents wishes mainly out of guilt. He blamed himself for what happened to Jin. If it weren't for his obsession with music, Jin wouldn't have met his tragic end that day.
He completely changed his personality and started liking the things Jin liked. He took up his interests, his hobbies. He became a totally different person. He became Jin. As a result, he drifted apart from Jimin and focused only on having a better future which meant distancing himself from the person who knew him the most.
It was a dry and colorless day. Taehyung felt tired and for some reason, lifeless. He was walking past the busy streets coming back from school when he saw the cars speeding past. Suddenly, thoughts of escape started to fill his mind. If only he could just die, this feeling of hopelessness would vanish. It would be so much better for him, for his parents. They would probably feel glad to be rid of him
Tears spilled down his face as he closed his eyes. The pain he was feeling was overwhelming as he walked into the middle of the busy street. It wasn't long until he felt his bones getting crushed and his eyes loosing it's light.
When he opened his eyes, all he saw was darkness. He thought he had finally arrived at hell but then, he heard voices speaking around him but he couldn't see a thing
"Are you okay?"
"Can you see anything?"
"How many fingers am I holding up in front of you?"
Panic filled Taehyung's heart. He had wanted to take his own life but he ended up getting blind.
"I can't see anything" he whispered.
He heard the voice again.
"Don't worry. We'll run a few tests. I'm sure it won't be serious"
He heard footsteps walk away.
"What's wrong with you Taehyung? Were you trying to kill yourself?" He heard his mother's voice. It was shaky and full of fear. Taehyung said nothing. He felt an arm wrap around his body softly but the feeling in his chest wasn't warm. He still felt cold and wanted to escape. He started to regret that he didn't succeed in his plans.
"Let's go. We'll come back. You need rest" His father said and they both left.
Taehyung was told his blindness was temporary and that within some few days, he would regain his sight. People came to visit him in the hospital but Jimin didn't appear much to Taehyung's annoyance but he didn't voice it out. One day, a bright sunny voice came to his senses. It was Jiyeon. She came to see him and brought him fruits. Jiyeon was his classmate in school. Their parents were quite close because they used to attend the same University and studied under the same department. He had always noticed her and found her very pretty but that was about it.
She took him out for fresh air and sat with him under an apple tree.
"I'm really sorry about what happened to you but it will all be okay soon" he said.
"Thank you"
She suddenly got up. "I'll be right back. I just need to get something" she said then walked away quickly.
Few minutes later, there was a movement close to him. His breath hitched when he felt someone sit on the bench beside him. He couldn't see anything so he could only sense who it could be. It was probably Jiyeon. It couldn't be anyone else.
"Jiyeon? You're back"
No reply. Instead, he heard soft sniffles coming from the one beside him. He could barely sense it so he was quite confused. The person suddenly held his hand squeezing it softly. It was very comforting and made him feel relaxed.
A cool breeze blew around him as he felt soft lips upon his own kissing him. It barely lasted a minute. The touch faded and later, he heard Jiyeon's voice. She was holding his hand.
"Are you okay?"
Taehyung blushed nodding his head. "I'm fine"
"It's getting colder out here. Should we leave now?"
"Of course" He squeezed her hand. It felt soft but a bit unfamiliar with the one he was holding before now. He was ashamed to ask her why she kissed him. What was her purpose. Instead, he said shyly.
"You didn't need to do this for me Jiyeon. Thank you. Somehow, you have given me strength. Can you come back again?"
"I won't be able to come back for now. I'm traveling with my Parents on holidays"
Taehyung sighed and led him back inside. Ever since then, everything changed and he regained his will to live but now, he knew that will was because of Jimin. This man who held his hand and kissed him during the darkest day of his life.
Merry Christmas to Everyone. Hope you're enjoying yourselves today. This chapter is for you.