you keep his shirt
he keeps his word
and for once, you let go
of your fears and your ghosts
one step, not much
but it said enough
• • •
two weeks later
"Happy birthday, baby," I whisper, leaning closer to plant a kiss on his cheek as I see him opening his eyes.
At first, he looks confused but once he meets my eyes, his face softens, looking at me with the same warmth in his eyes.
"What time is it?" He asks me.
"Nine a.m.," I answer with a smile.
"Too early." He groans, closing his eyes.
I laugh, starting to trace my fingertips over his soft face, remembering that he used to wake up at six a.m., and now, this seems too early for him.
I peck Harry's cheek before I decide to turn around to sit on the edge of the bed. I stretch my arms out, groaning under my breath at the pleasure of my muscles stretching. Then I stand up, and I smile as I see my bag on the floor.
When I bought his birthday gift, I didn't really know what to get him. And then I thought about this thing that we both do.
I hear Harry shift on the bed as I go over to my bag, and I crouch down on the floor to unzip it and take the little velvet box out. I zip my bag back and turn around, standing on my feet to face Harry who's already stood near the bed, only wearing his black boxers
"I have something for you," I smirk.
He raises his eyebrows, also smirking. "Really?"
I hum a yes as I nod my head, walking closer, feeling my cheeks begin to slightly burn. "We've been doing this since we know each other." I look down, kneeling on the bed when I reach it. "This is our thing."
"What is?" He asks me, curiosity sparking in his voice.
I shift closer to him until he's standing in front of me, looking down at me. I show him the velvet box that's almost identical to the one he gave for my Christmas present.
"Is this what I think it is?" He takes the box out of my hand.
I look up at him to see him staring down at the little box in his hands with a big smile.
"I don't read minds, Harry," I say sarcastically, earning an eye roll from him. "Just open it."
He chuckles and opens the box, revealing the silver ring with three blue stones I bought him. He widens his eyes as if not expecting it.
"It's real silver by the way." I point at the ring as he takes it out of the box to admire it.
"Pick a finger," he whispers in awe, showing me his left hand where he's only wearing a ring on his middle finger — the bear ring I also bought him.
I take the blue stone ring and slide it on his index finger, smiling up at him. He looks down at his hand and wiggles his fingers, admiring them.
"Why the bluestones?" He smiles, already knowing the answer.
"Because your favourite colour is blue." I smile back. "Am I wrong?"
"No, you're not." He chuckles, wrapping his hands around my back to bring me closer to him until our chests are touching. "My favourite colour is in your eyes, darling."
I blush at his words, running my fingers through his soft hair to keep the strands out of his face. His hair is reaching now his collarbones, and I fucking love it. I have so much to pull from.
"Is this like our inside joke?" He asks, and I chuckle.
"If you mean the 'buying rings for each other' thing, then yeah... it could be," I tell him, smiling.
He chuckles and leans forward for a kiss. His lips are soft against mine and he keeps the kiss slow, not deepening because we haven't brushed our teeth yet.
We both pull away with a small smile and his smile deepens, his dimples indenting in his cheeks, when I say, "Happy birthday, sunflower."
"I'll go downstairs to make breakfast." He tells me. "You can change if you want to."
"Shouldn't I be the one to do that since it's your birthday?" I ask him, and he lets out a short laugh.
"Since when can you cook?" He asks me instead of answering, letting go of my body to grab his sweatpants that were laying at the foot of the bed, and he puts them on.
"Fair point," I chuckle and watch him leave the room. I look over my shoulder to my bag, knowing exactly that this is gonna take me a lot of time, and a part of me thinks that Harry knows too.
I stand from the bed and go to grab the bag to put it on the bed, and I take a deep breath in before I decide to unzip the bag. Then I turn the bag over and begin to shake it so the clothes in there fall on the bed. Once the bag is empty, I toss it on the floor and look down at the mess I've made.
Thank god, I took so many clothes with me.
The first thing I do is take my favourite jeans. Blue mom jeans are just the best. I put them on and then look back to find the perfect top. I was rooting for a large sweater of mine but when my gaze meets with the shirt Harry left on the floor because of yesterday night, I think about something else.
It's basically a simple shirt with white and black dots as its pattern but I like it. And I liked how it looked on Harry yesterday.
I put on a black bralette before I put on the black cropped tank top. Then I crouch down to grab the shirt laying on the floor, and I also put that on. The sleeves are very long. I could actually hide my hands in them and it reaches over my mid-thigh which makes me feel smaller than I actually am.
I leave the buttons undone which reveals a small part of my stomach because it's also hidden by the tank top and the high-waisted jeans. I decide to go over to the mirror and I instantly smile when I see myself looking that good.
Fuck, I really look good.
Which made me wonder if it was only because I was wearing Harry's clothes. Anyway, I look fucking good and I fucking like the fact I don't want to wear anything else but this.
I turn around and see the mess I've made. Now, I have to clean that up. I fold all of my clothes together and then put them in my bag, trying to make them look like before. When I'm done, I also do the bed, it's the least I can do right now.
Then I go to the door to exit the room. I go downstairs towards the kitchen and the smell of pancakes begins to fill my nostrils. I keep walking as I glance at the decoration I helped Harry put on in the living room. His birthday party is going to be here so we needed to decorate a little bit. Only close friends were going to be here.
I reach the threshold and stay there to watch Harry standing in front of the stove, holding the pan. He lifts it up to make the pancake turn and then places the pan on the stove.
He looks over his shoulder, his gaze meeting mine. "Bring the smoothies to the dining room," he says, pointing behind him towards the counter.
I look in that direction and see the smoothies. I walk over there to take them and walk out of the room to go to the dining room. I put the smoothies on the table and go back to the kitchen to see if Harry needs my help. He's almost done with the pancakes, so the least I can do is grab plates, forks, and knives for both of us and wait for him.
Harry quickly glances at me, checking me out, and then he smirks. "You look amazing, honey."
I slightly smile as I feel my blushing. I never know what to say back to compliments, so I just lift myself on my tiptoes to peck his lips.
"Is that my shirt?" He asks me, lifting the pan from the stove to turn it around, so the pancake falls on top of the others.
"Mhm," I hum as he goes over to the sink and puts the pan in there. He turns the tap on and lets the water fall on the pan, then he turns the tap off. He turns back around and grabs the plate of pancakes, so we can go back to the dining room.
"Can you tell me why my clothes look better on you?" He asks me as we enter the room.
We both put the plates down and take a seat next to each other. I let out a short laugh before I answer, "Maybe it's because I'm shorter."
"Maybe," he repeats after me, fork and knife in our hands.
I pitch my fork in a pancake and put it on my plate. Then I cut a small piece of the pancake to bring it to my lips. Harry interrupts my action before I can put it in my mouth.
"Shit, don't, I forgot the syrup." He stands up and I sit there with the fork near my mouth, watching him leave and coming back with maple syrup. He opens the bottle and spurs some on my pancake. "You can eat it now."
I chuckle and dig the one slice in the syrup on my pancake and successfully put it in my mouth without any interruption.
Holy shit.
I widen my eyes, not controlling my expression as I stare at Harry in surprise.
"Good, huh?" He smirks, only pride showing on his face.
I nod instantly and cut another piece to please my tastebuds. Harry laughs as he also begins to eat. I swallow the food and gently swat his arm.
"What the fuck?" is the only thing that comes out of my mouth when I try to speak.
"Karen's not the only one who can cook, huh?" he tells me.
"Harry, those taste like Karen's," I point at the pancakes and furrow my brows when I realize what I just said. "Those are Karen's."
Harry laughs once again and that reaction is everything I needed to know that I'm right.
"You caught me, babe." He mumbles.
We eat our food and drink our smoothies. Then we clean up everything and I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth as he goes back to his room to get dressed. I go downstairs to turn on the TV so we can watch some movies before the party starts.
When I spot Harry walking down the stairs, my lips part in awe. He's wearing his black skinny jeans with a white silk shirt, the sleeves are only covering his upper arms and his hair is falling down his shoulders. My heart starts beating faster as I feel how I'm starting to ache for him.
Jesus, only one look at him, and I'm horny.
He takes the last step and walks closer to the couch. Now, I can also see that he's wearing a cross necklace and... a cross earring.
Fuuuuck.
I look down at his hands, where the cross tattoo is. Is he wearing those pieces of jewellery because he knows I like that tattoo?
Looking at his hands, I notice that he's also wearing the ring I gave him and I can't help but smile when I feel my heart warming.
He bends forward to peck my lips with a smirk on his face as I just sit there, unable to speak. I'm too overwhelmed with how good he's looking to actually speak.
He takes a seat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to bring me closer to him until my head is resting on his shoulder.
"Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we find?" He asks me, taking the remote out of my hand as if he just hadn't robbed the air out of my lungs.
"S-Sure," I stutter like the big idiot I am, and he chuckles, very amused with my reaction.
He puts something on while I'm still trying to recover from what just happened as I inhale his scent because of how close we sit.
"Are you thinking of stealing this shirt too?" He asks me. I can hear the smirk in his voice.
Cocky bastard.
I smirk to myself, finding the words to speak. "Should I start now, Mr Styles?" I ask as I bring my fingers over the first two buttons.
"Miss Becker can speak," he whispers with the same amused tone.
"And she can do more things with her mouth," I tell him, unbuttoning those first two buttons to reveal the swallows' tattoo. I don't know how I do it, but every time I'm horny something takes over me that makes me talk like that.
I tilt my head as Harry turns his head to me to look into my eyes with lust in his. He glances down at my lips before he grabs my chin. And when I think he's gonna bring me closer to his lips, his hand slides lower until his fingers softly wrap around my throat.
Instead of feeling kinda scared or confused at what he's doing, I literally throb as this turns me more on.
"Touch me," he demands as his eyes become a little darker.
I lock eyes with him while I slowly brush my fingers down his torso until I reach his v-lines over the shirt. I stroke my fingers over his belt, going further down to see how hard he is.
Fuck, he's very hard.
"Fuck," he groans, closing his eyes as he tightens his grip around my throat but not hard enough to hurt.
I lean closer to him to kiss his neck but he stops me with his grip, and I whine in response.
"When was the last time someone touched you, Harry?" I ask him, stroking his hard erection over his jeans. That must hurt him because of his tight pants.
"Fuck, I don't know," he hisses, rolling his eyes back at the slightest touch.
"Well, if you're reacting like this, then I guess it was a long time, wasn't it, baby?" I get more confident as I speak to him, and I know that the reason behind it is because of the way my touch is affecting him.
"Yeah, fuck, yes," he groans, and I smirk even though he can't see me now.
I take my hand away and he whines, opening his eyes, showing me the frustration he's feeling now.
"Keep touching me," he orders, and I shake my head. He groans, rolling his eyes before he continues, "Please."
He's even begging.
I inhale deeply and I shake my head again. "I don't think I will."
I'm just making him pay for all the times he edged me. Now, he just needs to keep this in mind before he does that again.
"Vee," his voice sounds demanding and maybe I shouldn't be doing this while he has his hand wrapped around my throat but I don't care. I like to see him like this. It makes me feel powerful.
I let out a short laugh, signalling him that I won't continue touching him. I glance down to see how he looks and the bulge on his pants is very... prominent.
That must really hurt but what a pity, nobody will do anything about it.
"Fuck you," he mumbles, pulling his hand away from my throat.
"You wish, huh?" I chuckle and he groans in frustration, focusing his attention back on the TV as if this didn't happen at all.
He hates losing and I love winning.
I also focus back on the movie, glancing down at him a few times to see how his bulge is doing. By the end of the movie, it goes back to normal and I wonder if I should frustrate him more but decide against it... for now. We watch more movies though. We even ate pizza for lunch and watched more movies until the ringing at the front door interrupted it.
Within two hours, the guests are all here along with the boys and Kay. The living room is filled with people and I thought this was going to be a small party but I clearly underestimated Harry's group of friends.
I look around as the music plays in the background but the chatter between the people is louder. Karen is talking with some girls while the boys are talking with some people but I frown when I don't see Zayn around them.
I quickly spot him alone standing in the doorway of the glass door that leads to the backyard. I excuse myself so I can go to where he is. I tap him on the shoulder once I'm standing behind him.
"Why so lonely, Z?" I ask him and he turns his head towards me as I walk to stand next to him and the first thing I notice is the smell of weed in the air. I widen my eyes and he giggles at my reaction.
"That explains it." He giggles again. "You want some?"
"Sure," I shrug my shoulders, knowing this is not my first time smoking a joint — high school in Germany was a hell of a ride and having Karen as my best friend made it even better.
He hands me the joint and I take it between my fingers to bring it to my mouth but Zayn stops me before I get to wrap my lips around it.
"Wait, is this your first time?" He asks me and concern flashes on his face for a brief moment.
"No, don't worry." I let out a short laugh, stepping outside and taking a seat on the cold stone floor, leaning my back on the window behind us, crisscrossing my legs. Zayn joins me as I wrap my lips around the joint. I take the first hit, careful to not inhale too much and end up coughing. I keep the smoke in my mouth for a short moment and then exhale it through my mouth. I pass the joint back to Zayn. "Is this the only reason why you're here all alone?"
"Part of it," he answers shortly, taking a hit, and I nod my head, knowing that this topic is a hard one for him.
"Harry showed me a few pictures of his mum and sister," I change the subject to make him feel better.
"Really?" He seems more relaxed as he speaks and I blame it on the weed.
"The genes that run in his family," I speak out, taking the joint to smoke again.
"I know, right? I wonder how they got so lucky," he chuckles.
"Hey, you got lucky too," I protest and he laughs again.
"I did?" He teases.
"Of course, you did," I lean forward with a smile on my face as he exhales the smoke straight on my face.
I blink a few times, caught off guard with his action and he smiles at me, and I lean back, sighing, feeling my muscles relaxing.
"You're going on tour again, huh?" I ask him, staring at the orange-violet sky because of the sunset.
"Yeah," his tone is lower now and he seems off.
"I never asked Harry because I can tell he enjoys it but, how does it feel to perform in front of a thousand people?" I ask, inhaling that smoke again.
"You seem happy with him." He says instead of answering my question as I pass him the joint.
So, that's a delicate topic for him. I'll try to avoid it if he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about it.
"Well, that's because I am. You have no idea how good he makes me feel," I widen my eyes and giggle after I realize what I said. He also widens his eyes, surprised by the fact I really told him that. "Pretend I didn't say that."
I haven't smoked a joint in like forever and I forgot how talkative I can be.
"I wish I had someone that looks at me the way you look at each other," he speaks his thoughts and makes me panic a little.
"How do we look at each other?" I ask, afraid of the answer I could get, turning my head to look at him to analyze the truth behind his eyes.
He also turns to me and locks eyes with me at the same time he says, "I can see the l-"
Zayn cuts himself off when he probably sees the fear in my face, and he clears his throat.
I know exactly what he was about to say though, and I'm glad he didn't actually say it. I don't know what I'd have done if he actually had said the L-word.
"Do you... you know?" He asks me, avoiding completely that forbidden word and I thank him mentally for that.
"I-I-" I stutter, not really knowing what I should answer.
"You don't have to tell me anything and you certainly don't have to love him now." He tries to calm me. "Love takes time, more if you're not used to it."
I part my lips in surprise. How does he know about that? This is the first time I'm talking to him about this.
"But the way you look at each other... if that's not it, I don't know what it is." He continues but his words don't freak me out... somehow they don't when they definitely should.
"And to answer your question, I'm anxious when I perform but being there with the guys makes it ten times better," he changes the subject, leaving my head full of thoughts I know I'll overthink later. "I know that if I was alone, I couldn't pull it off."
I don't get to respond to what he's saying because he surprises me a little bit with his next question.
"Have you ever... Have you ever thought of leaving s-... leaving your town to... to start over in another place?"
I look at him and make eye contact with him, so I decide to answer him honestly. "Yeah, I did actually. I thought of going to New York after finishing college."
"Why New York?" He asks as if he was all curious about this.
"The city is fascinating and it's big, no one really knows me there," I tell him.
He sighs and tilts his head back, looking up in the sky. "I wish no one knew me." He mumbles.
I form my lips into a line and look at him compassionately. I can understand why he wants that. I would want the same thing if I was him. I mean he's part of this massive boy band.
I don't hesitate when I shift closer to him and wrap my arms around his body to pull him in a hug. He's caught off guard at first but then I feel his hands around my back and he rests his chin on my shoulder.
"I'll be here if you ever need anything," I whisper to him, and he hugs me tighter.
We pull away after a few minutes, looking at each other with glossy eyes.
"I bet Harry would be all jealous about this," I joke to lighten up the mood, and I'm glad when he actually laughs.
He looks down at the joint he dropped on the floor that's all finished now. I didn't even notice, I got so distracted with the talking.
"I have two more," he smirks at me, and I smirk back.
"Pass them over, bestie."
He smiles at my words, shoving his hand in his back pocket to take out the joint he has left and a lighter.
"Here, bestie."
• • •