Without the light, I am lost within this darkness that seems to stretch on for miles.
I have whimpered prayers of desperation on my knees that root into the earth below my soul in search of stable ground.
I have questioned Your plans for me time and time again with tears that soak my book of life as they plunge downwards onto these pages.
I was in denial of Your capabilities and of the promises You gave.
In denial that perhaps there would be a day that no longer felt it was left on pause.
In denial that one could have so much faith in something so unseen.
I open my mind to You, the One that resides above.
I kneel here as I surrender and ask for forgiveness.
Relief me of my sins.
For I have cursed Your name in my times of suffering.
Self-pity bound with my words as I deemed You the cause.
I separated myself from faith even when I knew it was what would aid me.
Now I sit on the bathroom floor, the brisk white tiles chilling my skin as I fixate my breathing.
I do not fear You nor do I fear myself.
I fear of the countless possibilities that are soon to come.
Good or bad, I am uncertain.
My hands now together in unity, my fingers interlocking into a prayer and my eyes soon fall heavy with eagerness.
This faith of mine is slight but it is not extinguished and will soon grow stronger than before.
I trust that I am being heard and given a second chance.
Forgive me, Lord.