The results from the audition were hanging outside the theatre, and I anxiously walked towards the crowd. A bunch of people were happy but the same amount were pissed. My eyes scanned the crowd for familar faces and I saw Ingrid, looking as poised as ever, yet a small smile was on her lips. Did she get the part?
Reluctantly, I squeezed through the crowd and looked for my name. Only God knows where the wicked witch of the west assigned me. I finally found my name under Odette. I landed the lead. A weird sensation spread throughout my chest, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Don't get so excited," Riley said, one of Ingrid's minions. "You might want to re-read the list."
Feeling uneasy, I scanned my name. I was the understudy, not the main preformer. A queasy feeling overtook me. I was the understudy. With a slight frown, I turned to look at Ingrid, who had a sly smirk on her lips. She walked towards me, a sense of superiority radiating off of her pale skin.
"I see you're my understudy," She commented. "Get used to it." Riley snickered, along with a few other girls, and they all followed Ingrid inside the theatre. I bit my tongue, something I would have to get used to over the next few years.
--
I finally had time to myself after classes, finals studying and avoiding Alex. I couldn't help my little slip up and I've never felt more embarrassed. He knew I had more than friendly feelings for him, and was probably laughing it off with Hailey. I snuggled deeper into my covers, scrolling through my Twitter feed.
Codie finally got back from wherever she was previously, and stumbled onto the bed, drunk undoubtedly.
"Maddie?" She attempted to whisper, her voice higher than she thought it was.
"Yeah?" I turned over, looking at my roommate. Her dark eyeliner was smudged and there were bags underneath her eyes. Her short hair was messy and her clothes were uneven. Where was she and what was she doing?
"You're pretty lucky. I mean, Alex is a dick but you still have someone that loves you." She got into her covers even though she didn't wipe her makeup off or change out of her clothes that smelled like puke, piss and weed.
Wait, did she just imply that Alex was in love with me? I shook the thought aside. He was with Hailey. Rude, bitchy Hailey who got me kicked out of the apartment. Rude, bitchy Hailey that broke Alex and Dana up.
"You probably have people that love you," I responded, my voice raspy and raw. I cleared my throat and waited for Codie's reply.
"Yeah." She said, a sarcastic tone evident. "My workaholic father? Or my insane mother?"
I frowned. I didn't realize her home life was so messed up. Maybe that's why the way she is, always partying and drinking and smoking. Maybe she wants someone to save her before it's too late.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. Codie didn't say anything back. She pretended she was sleeping with fake snores, but I knew better than to believe them. I turned around and began to drift to sleep when I heard her say something.
"I'm sorry too."
--
It was finally the weekend and I was glad finals were over. Over the past week, I had to put up with Ingrid's snarky comments and Riley's backhanded compliments. I couldn't wait to go to some crazy frat party and get myself as drunk as I could. After all, I was in college. This is what it was all about.
"I can't believe you're going to a frat party. How lame." Codie snickered as I attempted to find just the right outfit for the event. She wasn't much of a dresser; all she needed was a crop top and her leather pants and she was good to go.
"Shut up," I immediately fired back. "I bet when you were in high school you thought frat parties were cool."
It's true, though. When you're in high school, you think going to college parties is so cool because you aren't in college yet. But when you get to college, it just seems like another party. Aim higher. Aim bigger. Nothing's ever enough for teens.
Codie simply rolled her eyes before returning to texting someone. I eyed her as I stood in the floor length mirror, debating my outfit. She has been glued to that phone since morning and it was now ten o'clock and I wanted to know so desperately who she was texting.
"That looks good," She said, finally taking her eyes off of the dimly lit iPhone screen. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I did look good.
My hair was straightened, it falling below my boobs, and my makeup was done to perfection thanks to YouTube tutorials. I was wearing a white tight fit crop top with slits along the sides, and a black skater skirt. I was also wearing a black leather jacket because it was chilly outside, but I had a feeling that once I was around sweaty college kids and loud music, I wouldn't need it anymore.
I stepped into my black flats, and turned around to face Codie who just sat there, smirking.
"Are you trying to get laid?" She asked, giggling at the end. I shook my head no, and rolled my eyes. Of course the first thing that crossed her dirty mind was sex.
"Well, I'll be back by three. If I'm not back, call the police. Bye!" I grabbed my clutch and headed out the door to meet Talia, who was waiting with a bunch of her other friends that I knew.
We walked across campus in a large cluster, laughing and talking all the way. It felt nice to not have to worry about dance or Alex or Josh. I needed some me time and I was finally having some.
I could hear the basic trap music and dub step from miles away, and I inhaled the scent of beer and an assorted variety of drugs. Welcome to college.
The party was in full swing by the time our group arrived, people grinding and laughing and having a good time in the center of the room, a few couples making out on the couches that were available.
Talia and I went to the kitchen together, warding off guys' wandering hands and others' lustful stares. I was only eighteen, but I still knew what beer tasted like. Talia mixed some drink up for me, telling me it wasn't as strong.
I downed most of the drink like a shot, before moments later, a light buzz made me feel less aware of my surroundings, but more aware at the same time. Talia lead me to the dance floor, where we were dancing like a couple of drunk girls (which we were), until a boy pulled her away.
I left my drink on the counter, telling a random guy to watch it, before searching for the bathroom. I really needed to use it and everyone I asked was either too drunk or stoned to tell me where it was.
After a few minutes, I finally found it, pushing myself through a couple who was basically having dry sex in the hallway.
After relieving myself and went back downstairs to find the random guy smiling at me, holding my drink in his hand. I thanked him warily, eyeing my drink. Maybe I was being paranoid. I took the drink in my hand, not drinking it yet, but he was still watching me.
"I wouldn't drink that if I were you." I looked up.
Alex.
I pursed my lips, and stared down at my drink. So I wasn't being paranoid.
"Why?" I asked, even though I fully well knew the answer.
"I saw Aaron over there roofie your drink," He told me, sipping the drink of his own. I frowned, before putting the drink next to the couch.
"I knew he was being weird," I mumbled to myself. I felt Alex staring at me but I didn't care. Tonight was the night I didn't have to worry about anything.
"How's life?" He asked, a small smile on his lips. I couldn't help but smile back. He was attempting to make small talk and I was okay with that. Maybe me time was me, plus Alex.
"Great," I responded sarcastically. "Don't you just love the burning sensation of beer and the smell of sweat?" Alex crinkled his nose and I felt my knees buckle. Okay, I could control this. But then I remembered the drink I had and I was a lightweight. I was going to be all over him in an hour.
"Yes," He replied. "I actually do."
We began talking about random stuff and I realized that I couldn't control my feelings for him; they're called feelings because they reflect how you actually felt. I got another drink, and then another and another and another and soon enough I was piss drunk and I couldn't tell my left hand from my right.
"Alex," I groaned as he escorted me out of the party and presumably back to the dorm. Why'd he have to make me leave? I was having a good time. Maybe he was tired and didn't want me to have a good time without him.
I checked my phone for the time and it was two a.m. I hissed at the bright light and stuffed it back into my bag as I hung onto Alex for dear life. I was silently applauding myself for not wearing heels.
"Can I just sit down?" I whined. "We've been walking for like five hours. I feel like I'm walking through a desert." Alex stopped and set me down on the nearest bench, where I nearly fell asleep.
"We've been walking for a minute, and it's only sixty degrees." I groaned and started walking again, before feeling my eyes closing. Falling asleep while walking wasn't a good idea, and I would've eaten the ground if it weren't for Alex.
He decided it would be best if I weren't walking at all, and picked me up bridal style and carried me like that the rest of the way. I was surprised he knew where my hall was without me directing him.
"You know where my dorm is?" I asked quietly, pressing my face into his light green shirt. He chuckled.
"Yeah, I do. I walked in front of it every day, and tried to apologize but I could never get up to your room until that one day," He admitted. "I hope you forget I ever told you that."
I smiled.
"No, it's cute." My head was throbbing and all I wanted to do was to snuggle into my warm covers and fall unconscious. We eventually made it to my dorm, and I wondered if Talia made it back to the apartment.
I was glad my room was on the first floor because I didn't want to climb any stairs. I gave Alex the dorm key, and we opened the door to an empty room. Codie wasn't there, so I assumed she was at Dana's. She was always sleeping there if she wasn't sleeping in our room.
He set me down on my bed, taking off my jacket and shoes and tucking me in. I was drifting in and out of consciousness, only alert when I felt Alex's warmth ripped away from me. I opened my eyes, and saw his retreating figure.
"Alex," I called out, sitting upright. He turned around, a confused expression on his features. "Stay?"
I internally screamed at myself. He had a girlfriend. And I didn't care about how rude and bitchy she was. She was still his girlfriend. I was pretty sure she didn't have a heart but if she did, it would be broken because I slept, literally, with her boyfriend.
But Alex didn't seem to mind.
A calm smile crossed his lips and he kicked off his shoes, took off his fuckboy hat, and cuddled into the small twin size bed.
And I fell asleep soundly in his arms.
---
GIF OF ALEX ON THE SIDE/TOP AY PAPI
this chapter was trash honestly I'm sorry
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