** Trigger warning: implied self harm. I will mark the area with #### so it's easier to see. **
Harry thought there was nothing better than this moment right now. One of his favorite songs came on, and him and Draco both reached for the volume at the same time. Smiling, Harry kept his hand on top of Draco's and intertwining their fingers brought Draco's hand on top of the console, resting lightly in his own.
Draco too could live in this moment forever. Harry was holding his hand so delicately and they were both singing their lungs out to this song and he felt so... free. He couldn't remember ever smiling this much in his life. The Maine truly puts out amazing music.
I'm a bitter little pill to swallow.
Harry squeezed Draco's hand and Draco know that was his way of telling him the lyric applied to him.
Draco got back at him with the next few lyrics.
My feet are mine to follow, you don't get to decide.
The chorus was perfect to scream along to, both men thought it described their relationship fairly well.
"My Best Habit indeed", Harry thought, as he looked tenderly at Draco.
The bridge got even better.
As a single tear falls to the ground
For the people that we are not now
If you're not you, you're everyone else
Who are you? Who are you now?
Burned our teenage years down to the ground
Oh, the hand on the clock's wearing out
If you're not you, you're everyone else
Who are you? Who are you?
At the end of the song, feeling bold, Draco kissed Harry's knuckles and kept their hands intertwined. They were loose enough so that if Harry needed another hand on the wheel he could easily remove it.
Draco used the hand that wasn't holding Harry's to pause the music. He wanted to say something, he just didn't know what. Harry beat him to it.
"I think that song is very... us."
"We quite literally burnt our teenage years down to the ground.", Draco agreed.
"And the question really is, who are we now?"
"If you asked me two years ago, I could've given you an answer. It would've been perfectly articulated with the appropriate amount of Malfoy sneer. But it was a lie. I was who I was told I needed to be.
I've spent so much time hiding who I am and I don't want to do that anymore. You've given me the time and space to work on figuring that out. I just really hope that everything with this potion goes well you know? I want to make a difference."
"You already have?"
"How?"
"We talked about George earlier today. But we didn't talk about me."
"Must the world revolve around you Potter?", Draco teased.
"Only if it's your world. That's the only one that matters to me.", Harry responded back easily.
"You practically are my world. Because we spend all our time together!", Draco finished quickly.
He cringed at how that sentence came out.
Harry just laughed and smiled sweetly. He loved when Draco was flustered.
"My Dray I didn't know you felt that way about me.", Harry teased.
"You're enjoying this a little too much for my liking.", Draco huffed arrogantly.
"There's the old Malfoy I loved."
Draco just turned up his nose and looked out the window haughtily. He was joking of course. Mostly. Harry was hitting too close to Draco's true feelings for his liking. And loved? What was that about?
"Anyways my little drama queen, yes we will be talking about me. Even though I'm terrible with collecting my thoughts and feelings.
You make me feel so... I dunno. Free I guess? Like I don't have to put up any false walls or anything. I've been so used to hiding who I am so that nothing gets used against me that I forgot who I was.
I've rewritten parts of myself to fit into this mold that I never should have been forced to fit into. It's like shoving a circle into an oval shaped hole. Yeah you can get it through but it's forced and uncomfortable.
I like that we have days where we sit and joke and fling batter at each and sing horribly into kitchen utensils. However, you do have a beautiful singing voice. It's so raw and I love it.
You'll just laze around on the couch with me for hours and we'll talk about nothing and everything all at once and we'll watch bad tv and get takeout. It's just so simple compared to what I'm used to.
And then there's days like today where you'll follow me anywhere. I treasure your loyalty and I know it's not easy to come by. I said I wanted to take you out and you agreed. No questions asked.
I know it can't be easy for you to be back in a car, but I appreciate you fighting through it for me. I really value you as a friend you know?
I think that everything happens for a reason, no matter how messed up it may be. I think this was our time to be friends. Not at Madam Malkin's, not over a stupid hand shake when we were 11. I think we were meant to build each other back up. This is where we're supposed to be Dray. Together."
Draco was truly touched by the words. He didn't expect anyone to ever say anything like this to him, let alone Harry. Never had he felt so special.
"You make me feel special.", Draco said quietly as he played with his and Harry's intertwined hands.
Harry thought the nervous habit was endearing.
"I learned from a young age that anything I cared about would be hurt or taken away from me. I'm glad you weren't one of those things. I know I caused you pain, but Salazar I couldn't imagine you being exploited even more because you decided to be my friend. Look what happened to Goyle.
I've felt like a chess pawn my whole life. Manipulated by my father into becoming a monster. Somehow, you look past that and you can see a person. A good person.
## I wanted to end it all. I wear long sleeves a lot just because I want to claw the mark off of me. I can't bear to look at it anymore. I was too much of a coward to follow through with anything drastic. I'm covered in scars."
"Is that why you don't want me to look at you when you're not wearing a shirt?"
"Precisely."
"And the scars on your chest are from me."
It wasn't a question Draco noted.
"Yes."
"I want to see what I did. When you're comfortable with it of course. It's your body and ultimately your choice, but those scars are my fault."
"One day. It's not your fault Harry. Not only your fault anyway. I'm used to them now, I just don't like the memories."
"Still. I should have asked if you were okay instead of attacking you." ##
"You had no reason to ask back then. We antagonized each other. I'm surprised it took that long to have a wand fight with each other."
Harry snorted and yanked his hand out of Draco's to cover his mouth. Draco used his now free hand to punch Harry's shoulder.
"Ow!"
"Why do you make everything so sexual Potter? We were having a moment and you goofed it up you git."
"A wand fight? You could've said duel or anything else I'm sorry."
Harry was still chuckling quietly.
"I'm always up for another kind of wand fight Potter you just say the word."
Harry shifted slightly in his seat at the provocative statement.
"And what would that word be?"
Draco watched as Harry took his lip in between his teeth. No man should ever be allowed to look this good.
"Maybe a phrase would be better."
"I'm listening."
Running his hand lightly over Harry's thigh, Draco leaned in to whisper in Harry's ear.
"Scared Potter?"
"You wish."
Oh how Harry wished. This was not the kind of conversation Harry had been expecting to have. If it keeps going any further there's going to be a big problem that he'll have no way of hiding.
Smirking, Draco pulled away after lightly nibbling on Harry's ear. Pulling his hand away, he turned the music back on and grabbed his sketchbook.
Draco wanted to catch this moment perfectly. Harry hot and bothered, and all because of him and his words. Using the MP3 player's camera, Draco snapped a few pictures sneakily in case he needed reference.
Bringing his knees to his chest, he began to sketch the man sitting next to him. Draco was hoping he could do Harry justice with his art. Not like he planned on letting him see this drawing. No, this one, like the rest of his secret Harry sketches, was for him.