[cole]
Cheyenne and Sadé walked into the house with all their bags and immediately Cole got up from the couch to help them. "Why y'all ain't tell nobody y'all needed help?"
"Where's Dame?" Sadé looked at me and Cecil and we looked at eachother before I looked back at her. I shrugged my shoulders. "Nigga left like three hours ago." I mumbled, taking her bags to Dame's bedroom. On my way back, I stopped at the guest bathroom to check on Cobe. After knocking, he unlocked the door and looked at me before walking out of the house. I rolled my eyes and went back to the living room where everyone was sitting on the couch, looking at me. "What?"
I walked out of the house to see where Cobe went. "You need a ride?"
He didn't say anything, he just walked to my car. We got in and I noticed that his phone kept going off. "Who is that?"
"Nobody." He mumbled, resting his head on his palm up against the window.
"Where am I takin you?" Again, I got no response, so I made the executive decision to bring him back to my place.
We parked at the gate and went into the lobby where I was stopped by Mike, the head of security, "Cole, you got somebody waiting for you up there." I looked him up and down. "So you finally wanna do yo job huh?" I scrunched my brows together, showcasing my unappreciation for how easy it was for Lonnie to just pop up at 3am without me getting any fore notice. "All type of niggas be up at my crib unannounced."
"Aye, I probably wasn't the one on duty, then." He nonchalantly defended himself.
"Well, Mr. Head Of Mall Cops, you need to get these niggas in order... shit, somebody might need to get fired matter fact." I announced, looking around the lobby at all the guards who I know for sure don't be on they job.
"Lemme handle my business and you handle yours, sir." Mike tested, attempting to end the discussion. I found my suspect and pointed at him earning a look of confusion from him.
"That's the one right there, Mike. Yeah, Lamont. I know you the one be slacking. Don't let that shit happen again." I sneered before taking steps toward the elevator.
I looked over and Cobe was gone. Impatient ass. I thought to myself before hopping on the elevator. "Damn, I shoulda asked him who it was."
When the doors opened, I peeked out to see who was in the hall and I saw Cobe hugging a girl. My eyes bugged when I noticed who it was. "Fuck."
"Hey, Colin." She said softly, holding her arm out for a half hug which Cole gladly accepted. "What you doing here?" He asked earning an irritated expression from her. "I mean, how you been, girl?"
"I'm fine. How about you?" She asked plainly, making the exchange feel more awkward than it needed to be.
Cobe unlocked the door and we followed her in.
"I needed to talk to you... about something." She looked between me and Cobe who had already found himself sinking into my couch cushions as if he'd been here for hours.
"It's important, or else I wouldn't have come all the way to the west side."
I looked over at Cobe one more time before I directed her up the stairs to the room. "You look good by the way." I offered, watching her ass move from side to side as we walked up the stairs.
"You too."
"So what's going on?" I sat on the bed waiting for her to begin.
"So, I'm doing a cleanse, right... so, I was sitting in the kitchen drinking that nasty ass spirulina juice and I kept hearing your name. So I'm like God? Why are you bringing up old shit? And she was like, you can't detox your spiritual shit without detoxing your physical shit. So I'm like, oh you got jokes... thinking she talking about shitting in the toilet but then it occurred to me that I need to let go of the old shit."
I'm old shit. Noted. I tried my hardest to let my boredness with the topic be shown on my face.
"There are things that we never really got the chance to talk about. Some things that I've been keeping from you that I never intended to even bring up with you in all actuality. For one, I never really told you the reason... the thing that really pushed me to end things with you."
"It was on me, i-" She put her hand up to make me stop talking. "It wasn't all on you... I have skeletons too. Yes, you had your shit... shit that really made me... it doesn't matter. But... I had done something that was haunting me and I couldn't keep looking at you knowing I had broken your trust even though you didn't know. I felt like you could tell that I was hiding something..." she put her hands together like pieces to a puzzle and shifted her weight before continuing, this time slower, and uneasy which solicited more of my attention.
"Every time we were together, my guilt made me look at you differently. I just kept finding things wrong with you to justify what I had done." She took another breath.
"The longer I keep this secret, the harder it became to be around you. And then things started to change with your family. People were getting sick, and you were going through all that shit with your father. I never intended to tell you because I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. And then your father passed away and then I really couldn't make myself come to you an-" I cut her off saying, "What?", in an attempt to move her closer to the point she's trying to dance around.
"I'm sorry. I took something from you without consulting you first, but it was the best thing for me at the time. And I think about it all th-" I cut her off again, unwilling to wait through more of the same shit, just twisted around.
"Jill. What are you talking about?" I asked, scratching the side of my head.
"A baby." I raised my brows, looking down at her belly. "No, Colin." She held my face up. "I had to break up with you because I.." my ears were ringing and everything went all slow motion like. I could see her talking, but for some reason, I wasn't processing. I could just hear her repeating a word over and over. Sorry. Like that word was sufficient enough to heal. I left the room and went to the living room to sit on the couch feeling the eyes of Cobe on me.
I looked over at Cobe who was still in a mood from earlier. I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen opening the small cabinet above the stove. "Colin." I heard Jill say as she finally came back downstairs. "Colin, can we finish our-"
"I am finished. You can let yourself out."
"Cole." I ignored her and proceeded to fish around for my stash that I got from Jemaika yesterday. I heard the door shut softly letting me know that Jill was finally gone. I turned around, leaning up against the stove allowing the recent news to finally penetrate my understanding. Fuck her. If anything, I'm only happy that God finally gave me the kick in the ass I needed to finally be done with her.
I thought there was nothing in this earth that could ever make me stop loving her. In the back of my mind, it didn't matter who I was with, who I was fucking, who I was kissing, Jill was always at the center of my heart. I always had this notion that eventually, I'd go back to her or she'd come back to me and we'd fix everything and live happily ever after. I think about her all time. She's my soulmate. Most people go through hella relationships wasting their entire lives trying to find theirs and I found mine. Luckily though, this one has come to do what it was meant to, and is finally moved on.
In the season of our affair, three years of unconditional passion, Jill taught me love. Before her, I'd never known that feeling... I didn't believe that shit really existed. She taught me how to recognize love and she taught me how to accept love. Most importantly, she taught me how to give love. She made a nigga soften up and I thank her for that shit, really. I heard footsteps coming from the hall before Cobe turned the corner.
I watched his white nikes grace the tiled floor. My attention took a trip from the whites of his shoes to the exposed brown of his legs up to his black dickies shorts... She taught me how to let go... accept... grow. His hand dangled at his side and my eyes left his fingertips for his biceps snug within his white polo and his mouth... she taught me that love is the ability to look past the physical... The heat from his closeness when he settled beside me felt... nostalgic. Like, he's always been right beside me whenever I need him to be. I took his hand into mine and pulled him into me kissing him on his forehead before rapping my arms around his shoulders. Our eyes locked and in his pupils I saw our moments... those moments that only the two of us know of. We've shared a lot.
"We gone be alright." I mumbled, only half believing it myself. He leaned forward, pecking my lips with his before repeating what I had said just seconds before. This time, I believed it because I know two halves make a whole.
I kissed the side of his face before resting my head on his shoulder. "You know what this feels like?" He chuckled into my ear.
"Hm."
"That night in Atlanta when I finally found you after you got lost trying to walk to the damn store by yourself." He started laughing and I smiled at the recollection. "We ran into each others arms all dramatic like... like we was in a movie or some shit. My dumbass felt like I would never see you again so when I found you, I was sure as shit not letting you go." Lifting my head up, we locked eyes again. His dimples disappearing as soon as his smile did. Intense fire was burning between our bodies.
"I was lost for hours." I said softly.
"So was I." He looked away from my eyes allowing his gaze to fall as his emotions violently swayed across his face. He tried walking away, but I've already lost one soul mate today, so this one has to stay.
Our noses grazed eachothers and his air mixed with mine, our lips only separated by skepticism and reluctance. That fire though, it melted our insecurities and fear into eachothers until we were so close we'd become one. I held onto his waist ensuring no escape was possible, but once our lips connected, there was no thing in the world that could pull us apart.
His hands slid through the space left between my arms and body, dipping into my loose fitting joggers taking hold of my cheeks.
"Nigga, you free-balling?" He smiled into the kiss. My only response was a moan that vibrated between our lips.
12.20.2020