Isabelle
Hospitals were boring and weird.
They were supposed to feel safe, and your own room was meant to be private and a place to rest. It didn't feel that way to me.
And being awake in an operating theatre to get a picc line was weird too. Eerie.
"Good job! Is your arm all numb still?"
"Yeah,"
"It'll wear off soon, be careful with these tubes okay? One is for taking out and one is for putting in, we can tape them down,"
"Thankyou,"
"No problem sweetheart! You did very well,"
I sat up and then got off the table, sitting on the wheelchair which she rolled me out the room in. I ripped off the stupid cap I had on and sighed, looking round.
This might be my home for the time being which sucked. I was supposed to see the world now I was with Kaykay.
We arrived back to my room and Kaykay stood, automatically helping me stand so that I could change. She slipped some joggers on, and a sweatshirt, then Ashton came and unhooked me from everything.
Softly, he kissed the top of my head and hugged me, then promised to be home for tea.
"How about we pick up a nice sandwich from the deli?"
"Okay,"
"How are you feeling?"
"Scared, still. I guess this means I don't have to worry about needles,"
"Exactly, you will be okay!"
"I am gonna lose my hair, and get sick. I wanted to explore,"
"When you are strong enough then we can,"
"Now,"
"Not now," she whispered, kissing my head, "I am sorry,"
I choked out a sob and she held my head to her chest, planting small kisses on it. Her heart was beating super fast which didn't calm me at all, so I pulled away and wiped my eyes, sniffing.
"Shall we get you out of here?"
"Please,"
At the front desk she signed discharge papers and then we found Ashton's car; I assumed he was getting a ride home.
It was nice to be out of the bed, and sat in a familiar space now.
"I know this is hard to process... it is a shock for me because I didn't know you were in pain, but I could sense something was up. I still think you're so brave,"
"Ashton's not gonna let me die, right?"
"You won't die,"
"Ashton said he can't make promises,"
"Well I can,"
She started the car and pulled out if the car park, heading into the city. It was way larger than home, and looked so much more expensive and classy.
I couldn't help but gawk as we drove through, watching people walk past with their friends and family.
I'd probably not get to do that for a while.
"How long will I be sick for?"
"I'm not sure baby,"
"Oh,"
"At least a few months of treatments, then you will still feel a little bit sick. We will fight it though, together,"
"Not really,"
"Ash and I will take as much pressure off you as we can,"
"I appreciate that, a lot,"
"You can make friends on the cancer ward,"
"Who will die,"
"Not necessarily,"
"Am I gonna get the best doctors? Because you can't work on me and you're the head of paediatrics,"
"I have some brilliant residents, do not worry. Ash will be using his more anyway. You're a kid, but you're on the cancer ward and that's more important,"
"What if I get in an accident and you are the only person who knows what to do?"
"I am not, I have taught people!"
"But what if?"
"I know who to trust,"
She parked on a quieter street and beckoned me out the car, taking my hand. My outfit wasn't very fitting for the streets we were walking through, but at this point I didn't care. I looked like trash and I felt like trash.
We entered a deli and joined the queue, Kaykay trying to encourage me to get something extravagant. Instead, I settled for a ham and cheese toastie with a smoothie that I probably couldn't handle.
"Thankyou , for trying,"
"Guess I have to keep my body going,"
"That's the spirit,"
"Do you think I'll still look good bald?"
"I think you will always look beautiful no matter what,"
"Lame,"
"Hey," she giggled, "I am new to this,"
"Clearly,"
We paid for the food and I waited for it to be heated, then we took it back to the car and I began to eat it.
Admittedly, the smell of it did lure me in, and it was the hungriest I had felt in a while. Perhaps some of it was anxiety about not knowing what was wrong, though I still had plenty of anxiety about my diagnosis.
"We have pain meds for you, and lots of vitamins. I'll sit with you and we can order comfy clothes soon,"
"Thanks,"
"Perhaps get rid of some of your clothes that don't fit, we can give them to charity,"
"Okay. That's most of them,"
"More new clothes," she winked, "How is the food?"
"Good,"
"It's mine and Ashton's favourite place. He proposed to me there,"
"What?"
"Yeah, it's where we first met. Since it's not too far from the hospital we sometimes grab lunch,"
"Oh. That's nice,"
"Proposals don't have to be big,"
"I am not judging,"
"I wouldn't have wanted it any other way,"
Soon, we arrived home and headed inside the house. It was chilly, so she put the heating on and wrapped a blanket round me and sat me down.
Grabbing her own lunch, she sat beside me and turned the tv on, flopping her head on my shoulder.
"I love you,"
"I love you too," I mumbled.
"What was that?"
"I love you,"
"Adorable!"
"Never call me adorable. We look the same, and I am not,"
"We look alike huh?"
"Yeah,"
"Wonder why,"
"You're so mean!"
This time she giggled and shook her head, putting a blanket over herself. Sitting in the living room was new to me, honestly, but I liked it.
Their sofa was squishy and soft, and their tv was huge. It was propped on a stand and there were candles, and small vintage ornaments.
"Your house is cool,"
"Thanks,"
"Where do you find this stuff?"
"Thrifting, and markets, usually. We do have lives,"
"Cool,"
"Are we down with the kids?"
"I'd hope you are, but anyone who asks if they're down with the kids is not down with the kids,"
"Damn, I thought I would be,"
"You were, until you said that,"
"Screw you,"
I smiled and curled into her side, sighing as she hugged me. It was nice. My hard feelings had pretty much vanished.
If I had this life, I wouldn't want mum and dad trying to take it away. To live in solitude with their arguing.
"I don't get why they did it to us,"
"Because they are scared of the world. They want to protect us, but we wanna explore and adventure so it didn't work. We aren't like them,"
"Good,"
"Gosh, I know this sucks, but we will try and make it fun still, okay?"
"Good luck,"
"I don't need it,"