[33]
A L A S K A
I was awakened by hushed voices and the stinging smell of disinfectants.
"What is that?" someone that I recognized as Mateo, my second oldest stepbrother, asked.
"Shut up!" I heard Max's voice snap at him.
"No need to be so rude." Juan and Flynn mumbled simultaneously, which made some chuckles ring out throughout the room and the two of them groan in annoyance.
I blended them out as I tried to remember where I was or what happened while trying to not scream in pain at the horrible headache. It felt like I was hit by a prick or like I had fallen down a mountain head first.
Then the memories slowly started crawling back into my mind.
Leo.
Gun.
William.
Hospital.
The emptiness in my stomach made itself known once again by kicking the inside of my abdomen.
Hard.
It was my fault. If I had moved to the side, if I had pushed him away, if I hadn't invited him to come with me to the ball...then I could've stopped this from happening...
It was all my fault. Everyone around me always gets sucked into the dark abyss that I was trapped in. They all either get trapped as well or die, which makes the abyss even colder and harder to survive for me.
Who will die next? Max? Xavier? Phoenix? My father?
No, I can't let that happen. I wouldn't survive losing another person, I'd fucking die and I won't allow myself to die until Leo woke up.
"Is she awake?" I suddenly felt someone poke my cheek and I was up in an instant. My eyes jolted open and a ray of sunlight hit me, making me squeeze them shut again. I slapped the hand away and blinked the tears, that had formed because of the light, away.
"Yes, she is, thanks to you." Grayson muttered.
"Hey, Al. You ok?" Max asked and I saw a sad smile resting on his lips, which I returned but then the image of Leo's last words came flooding back into my mind.
"Th-Thank you...for being m...my bestfriend. My...family." he smiled weakly.
He was my bestfriend...
And I caused him to get shot.
"Al...I love you...sis. Я так тебя люблю." He brought his bloody hand up to my cheek and wiped away a tear that was running down my face. [I love you so much]
He was one of the few people that ever truly loved and cared for me...
And he endangered his life to safe me, because I, fucking coward, couldn't move one bit.
Suddenly his eyes started to close and the color on his face faded away. Blood started to drip out of his mouth, his head fell back and his hand dropped to the ground.
He was on the verge of dying, I didn't even now whether he'd survive, and all that because of...
"Alaska!" Warren suddenly yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I looked around the room. They were all here. My family...my stepbrothers....my stepmother...my bestfriend....my boyfriend. They were all here, worrying about me, although I was the last person that they should be worrying about right now.
I jumped up from my seat, the smile turning into a straight line. All the emotions in my eyes, all the pain, the worry and the frustration, they all faded away and were replaced by sheer emptiness.
"What is that scar on your face, Alaska? I've never seen it before?" Dylan, my oldest brother, asked worriedly.
My eyes widened and my hand went up to my face, cautiously stroking the scar that was running down my left cheek.
Shit! I washed all the makeup off yesterday! How could I be so stupid! Urrrgh.
"Nothing." I seethed and before I got the chance to walk to the restrooms I was pulled back into a hug by someone. I stiffened and even when I found out who it was by his scent, I didn't relax like I normally did. I stayed as stiff as a stick, two arms wrapped around me, pushing me into a chest.
"у тебя все нормально?" he whispered into my ear so only I could hear it. [Are you okay?]
"отпусти меня." [Let me go.]
"что случилось?" [What's wrong?]
"просто оставь это, блять, хорошо?!" I demanded, raising my voice. [Just fucking leave it, ok?!]
I slipped out of his embrace, instantly missing his warmth, and glared at him.
"я сделал что-то не так?" The confusion and the worry in his tone, made my hands clench into fists. [Did I do something wrong?]
They needed to leave me alone... so I had to make them hate me...If I didn't, they would get hurt, or maybe even die, just like Leo, though he isn't dead...yet.
She will try but will she succeed?
Will they really hate her in the end?
"Fucking leave me alone, all of you! Oh and the scar, you wanna know how I got it?" I asked, turning to my oldest brother.
"That's from when my psychotic, abusive mother stabbed herself, put the bloody knife into my hand and accused me for having stabbed her. After years of secretly bullying and abusing me, may I add. I had thrown the knife away and screamed back then, but nobody noticed how fucking scared I was. The only thing you saw was the blood all over my clothes!" I snarled and walked off to the girl's restroom, leaving them behind with open jaws.
-
T H E O D O R E
(Biological father)
The picture of her scar was stuck in my mind as I tried to grab onto the memory of that one horrifying day. In one way or another, it was still one of the worst days of my life.
I had pushed the memory into the depths of my mind, because I didn't want to be reminded of that horrible fear I had felt of losing my beloved wife. But now, after everything I found out about her, she was nothing but a vicious and psychotic woman in my eyes. But I still kept the memory hidden, even after finding out the truth, because the pain of rejecting and practically disowning my daughter would tear me apart.
But right now I didn't care. I couldn't run away from that memory forever and the only thing I wanted to know right now was, how my beautiful daughter got that horrific scar, that I didn't even know of.
Then I finally found it and replayed the events of that day, slowly tearing apart one piece of my heart.
I burst through the door of my office and stopped abruptly at the sight in front of me. My youngest child with a bloody knife in her hand and my dear wife lying on the floor unconscious in a pool of blood.
Her blood.
"Oh my god." I whispered as I ran over to Annika and knelt down next to her body, soaking my jeans with blood, but I didn't care.
Soon I heard a stampede of footsteps running into the room.
"Dad, where are- What...the hell." my oldest son breathed out and cautiously walked over to me.
"Oh my god, mom!" Grayson exclaimed and hurried over to his mother, his twin hot in his trail.
"What happened, father?" Dylan asked hesitantly, wihout a trace of emotion. He was good. Very good. He masked his emotions perfectly. He was nowhere near crying as he knelt down and brushed away one of his mother's strands that had fallen in front of her face.
"Call the ambulance!" Warren shouted into the hallway, making some maids hurry over to him and squeak at the sight of my office.
"Hurry!" he urged, and the maids rushed away.
All of a sudden I heard a scream and a thud in the back of my mind but I paid no mind to it as I was too occupied with my wife's dying form.
"Mommy?" a voice timidly whispered, barely audible.
I didn't hear her nor did I even look at her. I, foolish old man, only cared about Annika's health and didn't even really notice the scream, or the crying state that my 10 year old daughter was in back then.
My stomach felt empty and a tear escaped my eyes as I plopped down on one of the chairs in the waiting area again. I had stood up when that russian guy hugged my baby girl...but, I guess he had more right to hug her than I had. I mean, I kicked her out of the house and hated her for something she never even did.
If only I had listened to her cries and pleas back then. If only I had looked her in the eye, without the anger and hate blinding me. If only I hadn't sent her off to a boarding school...then maybe, we would've been happy today. Maybe I would be holding her in my arms right now.
"...when my psychotic, abusive mother stabbed herself...."
What did she mean by abusive? Did that bitch lay her hands on any of my children? Oh I swear to god, if she did, I'm gonna revive her and cut off all her fingers one by one, feed her with it, take out her organs, feed her with them as well, and then I would fucking set her on fire.
The thought made me smirk.
Oh, he will want to do so once he finds out.
But will he need to revive her?
Alaska's behavior just now made me uncomfortable. Why did she push her friend away? What did they talk about anyway? And why can't they speak in a language I understand? But the most worrying thing were her eyes.
Normally everytime she looked at her bestfriend her eyes would sparkle with love or any kind of emotion, but just now they were dull. Almost as if her soul had left her body...as if her walls were up higher than before. I sighed, closing my eyes and letting my thoughts drag me into the darkness.
He was right.
Her walls were up high again.
Way higher than he could ever imagine, though.
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Hey there, what's up?
I'm getting really excited lately cause my book is slowly going into the direction of the final chapters. Don't get me wrong, I love writing this book, but I'm super hyped about writing that one last chapter and the extra chaps. 😆
Yeah, you heard, or rather, read right. There will be some extra chaps, probably around 1-3, I dunno yet.
Anyways, I wanted to say that the pup, Alexei, won't play that much of a role as I had originally planned. He will only play a small role in the last chaps, so I apologize to those who were hyped about more story about Lex.
And I wanted to say thank you guys so freaking fucking much! I almost reached the 200 FOLLOWERS! It's just crazy, seriously. Unfortunately, I can't do anything to like give you back what you guys give me with all your comments, ideas and opinions. I can only say how grateful I am, to be able to communicate with so many wonderful people, and publish new chaps ❤
Oh and I can thank you for helping me get good grades, lmao. I just got a mail from my english teach today, that I got an A on my last test ☺
I guess my english is improving due to writing the story and reading all the comments 😅
By the way, what do you think did the 'But does he really need to revive her' mean?
Hehe
*evil laugh*
Muuhahha
Sorry, I got a lil bit too carried away just now 😅
Anyways, stay safe ya guys!
Don't let the corona virus catch you!
Love y'all!!
❤❤
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