Nagito's Point of View:
I sat on my squeaky bed, just waiting there. Searching through my mind was like looking through a highschoolers backpack. My mind was a fluttering mess: Filled with memories, ideas, and even voices by people I don't think I even knew. It was upsetting to know that one day I would most likely be forgotten.
That didn't stop me from still having glimpses of people though. That one boy from earlier, for example, was all but a whisp in my mind. I could still remember small things about him: Like his spikey chestnut brown hair and his olive-green eyes. I was also able to remember some less than appealing things: His role at Hope's Peak, for one, was burned in my mind. He was just a reserve course, a nobody, a talentless waste of air. This boy was one of the first people that I was able to remember this much about. I remembered he was here for split personality disorder. One half is just some loser, and his other half is perfection personified. Someone I dreamed to be next to till the end of time.
I got off of my bed with these thoughts still bouncing around my head and sat down at the little desk near my bed. There wasn't a lot on the desk, just some black and blue pens and a notebook filled with my writing.
Ever since I had been transferred to this prison of a 'home,' the doctors had noticed the problem with my memory. For a really long time, I would be asking again and again for names. It had even gotten to the point where doing it became a sense of deja vu.
At some point, one of my doctors had come in and had given me my notebook. He had sat down with me and written down everything we said like a book. Near the end of the meet, he gave me the notebook and told me to write every day about what went on on important days, as well as the names of my doctors and patients I knew with small little descriptions. This day was engraved in my mind. For weeks I read and reread this entry with a passion. This entry had gotten me on the track to slowly recovering my memory.
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The journal entry (3rd person written by Rantaro Amami)
"Good morning Komaeda-San," Amami-Kun says as he turns the corner into the room. Amami is the head doctor. He also is one of the biggest players. No one knows exactly why, but he is considered eerily hot. With his light green hair and his matching eyes. No one understood how someone so adorable could be hot at the same time, but he just was.
Anyway, Komaeda looks up surprised, almost immediately looking over well hiding something in his desk. "W-who are you!" Komaeda stammered as he ran to grab something to defend himself with. Amami gave a small laugh as he sat on his patient's bed. "Don't worry Komaeda, I'm just here to give you a gift"
A-A gift... But I barely know you Amami-Kun... We are mere strangers." Komaeda looks over at Amami, whose laughing seemed to have increased tenfold. "We aren't strangers dude, I've checked in on you once a week for the last month or so now, how do you not remember me? You just did last week." Komaeda let out a small chuckle, "Sorry, my dementia really has been getting to me I guess, but I never knew I could forget a person." Amami laughs and hands the rectangular box to Komaeda, "That's why I and the other doctors got you this!"
Komaeda takes the red box with the gold ribbon and slowly begins to unwrap the rough paper on it. The paper unravels to show a metallic green notebook. It was an exceptional look: With its hundreds of pages of lined paper, and the loose metallic rings on the edge of the book.
"Why did you get me this? I haven't forgotten that many people, have I?" Komaeda looked at him with this undeniable hope that he wasn't having as many problems as he thought. The green-haired boy sighs and makes eye contact with Komaeda, "Well, you forgot me Komaeda, and you seem to forget a lot of the paths you take daily. That's not good... We thought that the notebook would help you. I also convinced them to get you... This!" Amami holds out a box filled with a bunch of colored gel pens. Komaeda looked at the pens with utter delight, "These are amazing! Thank you so much!" The two boys pulled one another into an embrace.
The two began making sketches of the doctors and labeling general information. The doctors listed were: Naegi Makoto, Amami Rantaro, Fijisaki Chihiro, Kirigiri Kyoko, and Asahina Aoi. Then the boys listed off friendly patients. "So, do you really know anyone yet Komaeda? I know it has been a month, but you seem pretty anti-social..."
"Do I really seem like that big of an outcast?"
"Sort of," Amami confessed. It was one of those times where you had to take both sides and debate what to do. This seemed like the best option. "You always eat alone, you barely talk to anybody..."
"So I really am just some worthless trash." Nagito lets out a sigh, disappointed that everyone saw him in such a poor light.
Amami looks at the fluffy-haired boy with pity. "You know, if you want, I can recommend you to get a roommate!"
"I don't really want a roommate. What if they bully me?"
"If they do, then you tell me and they leave the hospital." Nagito looked at Amami and ran to tackle-hug him. "Thank you so much Amami-San!" The two boys spend the rest of the day working on this here entry. The entry to change Nagito's life."
End of the journal entry
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The entries never ended up helping me too much, but it did help me get my mind off of things. I wrote stories and poetry about even the littlest things, and I was in the mood to write more.
There were so many things to write about: The trees, Hinata, the birds, the grass, Hinata, my time at the hospital, my favorite color, art, Hinata... I think I'll do a poem on Hinata. He is my roommate, so I guess it would be good to remember him. I grab my pen and allow the words to flow from my mind and onto the page.
"I was born in this good life
But I was never a star
I had these ultimates surrounding me
Near and far
But then it all crumbled down
To the depths of despair
Any ounce of hope
Disregarded without care
Sent to an asylum
Alone and meek
Because according to the world
I am mentally weak
Trapped alone in a room
Without a person to hold
Until he came in
Shining and bold
Though part of him was talentless
And was also broken and alone
He seemed somewhat interesting
With an almost blinding hope
His other half was a god-like being
Talented with practically everything
I fell for him in every way
And I think of him every second of the day
He's a brainiac
and a maniac
and a psychopath
and an insomniac
I love him in every way
He is one with the kind kids
And the lying kids
And even all the weirdos who always seem to be alone
But he is such an angel
A saving grace
His pure white wings open so grand'
At the same time, they're dark
Pitch as a blank night sky
And these wings make me wonder
Why?
Is he morally grey
to wear all the pain away?
Or is he sitting bored on his stage?
While the whole world continues to play"
I put the pen down to stare at my work. It was honestly trash. My similes were all bland, and the metaphor for the wings seemed off. I barely know anything about Kamukura and Hinata, yet I feel somewhat confident in the way I described them. I'm such an awful person: I just assumed someone's personality after a good couple of minutes of knowing them. I spilled my life to the lesser of the two, and I got a full-on lecture about my view on myself from the perfect one.
There is something different about... them... Odd. I can't seem to remember their names. I swore one started with an 'H' and the other an 'R?' I cannot seem to remember...
... Heh...
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It seems my memory and my writing have failed me once again...
I'm so sorry! I didn't update last week because of the Holidays, and then I post this late at night and feel like this sucks. I needed this as a sort of filler chapter to give you guys a small glimpse into the way the memory problems are. Until next time my fellow Danganronpa fans!