Have you seen a bird trying to fly with a broken wing?
I have and trust me when I say,it dosen't stop him.
It will fall down again and again,it will thrash around hitting the ground in pain.
But with each thrust it will sour few feet higher,
It will not stop even if it's wigs are on fire.
Not because it can't survive on plains,but because it was born to break the barriers that restricted it's aims.
It was born to fly and it will , disregarding any odds and hurricanes that came in it's way.
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Since the last 12 years, I have wished to see him.
To see that smile that I am seeing right now?
How can he smile?
Doesn't his heart curse him for throwing out his own daughter?
Doesn't he have a conscience?
He is talking to the king, his arms were interlocked with someone and when I moved further, my heart stopped.
It pains
It shouldn't I know
These feelings, this sadness should have died the day they disowned me.
But can I help it?
The knives pierce my heart as I saw her, my so-called stepmom.
Her smile was all fake just like insides.
I tried breaking the stereotype.
I tried accepting her as my mother as I never saw my real mother.
But her, she just couldn't see me as anything except a wh***'s child.
My fists clenched as I stepped back from the stage.
Unaware of Daniel's eyes fixed on me.
Such a happy couple.
I bet they both were perfect for each other after all.
Both fake and unreal.
My foot got stuck on the carpet behind.
I was going to fall back when I felt two strong hands hold me steady.
That was when I looked at him.
"Careful Stalker. What happened?"
I couldn't stand, let alone speak.
I want to go
Like right now!
Away from all of them!
My eyes met his confused ones.
I could only move my head in a no.
Tears were stinging my eyes, ready to gush out.
Sh**
I have to leave.
I tried pulling my hands away from his grip but he was reluctant.
Holding my wrist in his hand he followed my gaze.
Still not able to understand, he moved me closer to his chest.
"Stalker! Look at me! Hey here!"
Don't say anything Daniel
Please don't
You can't see me cry
I can't look at you with tears in my eyes dammit
You will ask for reasons and I can't tell them!
"No...no Dan...I...sorry"
I harshly pulled my hand away from his grip.
Running away from everything.
His voice could be heard in the background but I didn't stop.
Desperate to escape.
As soon as the girl's washroom came into view, I ran inside slamming my cubicle door shut.
Let it go Eva!
And I did.
Tears stained my cheeks as I pressed my back on the cubicle wall.
I don't know how long I stayed there.
Letting go of my emotions in this silence.
I heard someone enter and decided to silent my sobs.
"Did you see them? They looked so perfect!"
"But your majesty was a bit upright. I wonder if he has agreed to it?"
"Your majesty likes someone else I guess.
Maybe that girl in black he bought along"
"Didn't you see how he danced with her! I can bet on this! He likes that girl"
"Like is a big word. I wonder if she is one of those girls you know. After all your majesty would never go for a common girl"
"You mean to say he will fu** her and leave her? That's not how he is. You are mistaken"
"I may be. But you know how boys are right?
I mean even he would be aware that no one will accept her...he knows he can't defy his father.
Then why start something when he can't end it ...unless you know"
My hands were pressed on my mouth, trying to silence my sobs.
Were they right?
Is it why he is still with me.
Because we haven't done it yet.
No, but he is not like others.
He won't.
He would never.
"He can. Have you heard about that girl Rebecca?
They were able to kill that news with their strong connections.
Poor girl...she never got justice."
"Was it true? I always thought that it was just a rumour"
"Oh come on even rumours have a base. I knew her family. They told me the truth but don't tell anyone okay.
Messing with the royal crown is like asking for trouble"
"I won't. What was it?"
"She jumped from the top floor of her building. But no suicide note was found.
But what was worse was that she was pregnant at that time."
"Oh god! Really?"
"Yes, and you know the worst part.
She said it was your majesty's child. No one believed her or maybe they were paid not to know.
I don't know the insides but yaa things were not as they seemed"
"Poor girl"
"See this is what happens to commoners when they mess with royals.
These people are too powerful.
They own everything and hold absolute power.
Things like love and trust get lost somewhere.
Lies are the only thing that remains"
"True that. But I guess we are also a part of this circle now. By the way, did you see Princess Rose's dress!! Omg was it embroider with gold threads?"
They proceeded out of the doors and I crashed down on the ground now.
It's not possible
Daniel would never
Your mom's fate would repeat on you, you won't be able to escape it.
Wasn't what you heard right now enough?
Do you want to be like that girl?
No, they are lies. I know Daniel. He would never do such a thing.
He won't but what about his family?
Do you think his father will accept you?
You will be left alone with a child.
You will be labelled as a sl** just like your mom!
My conscience was mocking me.
But sadly it was all true.
I can't refute anything.
With no career,a who** label on your head and a child's responsibility you will be ruined!
And your child? He/she will live a life just like you!
Alone! Disowned! Rejected!
My eyes were swollen and my throat clogged.
It was getting difficult to breathe as I took in deep breaths.
Breathe Eva! Breathe!
You both have no future.
Get over this childish infatuation.
Be practical and leave him before this love ruins you.
Don't do the mistake your mom did.
Focus on your career, be in dependent and live your dream life.
Leave him Eva
Leave him before this love ruins you both
"STALKER!!"
I heard a hand thrashing on my door and I recognized his voice.
Did he just barge inside the girl's washroom?
"I know you are here Eva!! Just open the damn door little mouse!"
His voice had desperation.
He was worried about me.
I couldn't say anything except sob in return.
I won't open if I do I will go back into his arms and there will be no returning back.
Next, I know the door was broken off its hinges.
I screamed in surprise.
His eyes land on me and the very next second I was engulfed by him in a warm hug.
"What's wrong with you! Where did you go!"
I couldn't look up at him, I just can't
"Did someone say something to you? Tell me, Stalker! Tell me!"
He was literally shaking my shoulders for answers but I refused.
Next, he held my face in his palms and cleaned my tears with his thumb.
More tears kept coming out as I failed to control my emotions.
"Just stop crying Eva! Tell me what happened? I am getting really worried!"
"I can't"
I spoke in between my sobs, my words stammering as I said it.
Confused he looked into my eyes.
"I can't...Daniel..we.. can't be together"
His hand stopped as hurt crossed his features.
But the very next second it was gone.
What I saw next made me anxious.
He was looking at me like I betrayed him.
Like my words stabbed him.
"What did you say?"
He said now in a low voice, that managed to shake my insides.
"I...we....I can't continue this okay! I just can't!"
His eyes refused to leave mine, permitting me to continue.
"I know there is a connection...I am happy when I am with you.
I feel safe.. you are the best thing that happened to me.
But...but our future ...I can see it already Daniel! There is no future of us...we can never be!"
His hand that cupped my face slid down to hold up my chin and make me lookup.
His warm touch igniting my insides and forcing me to lean against it.
I held his wrists with my hand, trying to tell him my problems.
Hoping he will understand.
"Dan please I know you don't want this! But what's the use? Tell me will your dad agree to this?"
He didn't answer.
Not even a single word of protest left his lips and this scared me.
"Your..your father doesn't agree...your kingdom will never accept me. I can never be a part of your life...I am sorry!"
This time his hands left my face, I desperately held onto his wrists.
"You understand me.. right Daniel? Please don't be like this! Please say something!"
He chuckled at this but no amusement was evident in his eyes.
"Haven't you decided already? You have already made up your mind.. what's the use of me begging you then?"
"Please under-"
I couldn't continue.
He slammed the door to the cubicle shut and within seconds trapped me between his hands and the wall behind.
His eyes were closed as he trailed his nose around my jawline.
Making me hold the wall behind me for support.
"What do I understand Stalker? This that you were fuck*** playing with my emotions all these months?
That you are a coward who doesn't have guts to fight for love? Or this that you don't love me as much as I fuck*** love you?"
"Dan..I love yo-"
"Shhhhhh"
He pressed his finger on my lips, stopping me from continuing.
"Don't say it if you are not willing to fight for it."
His eyes, they were now orbs of anger and hurt.
It hurts me as much as it hurts you, Daniel.
Please don't make it difficult.
"You don't understand Dan-"
"Yes I don't! Because you never fuck*** explained it to me! You are one hell of a messed up person Evalinge Williams! But I tried understanding you! I gave you space...I gave you time ...but you! You never trusted me!"
"You go talk to the person I hate the most! You never listen to me! You stopped me from telling everyone! You stopped me from fuck*** you!
What else Eva? Now you want me to leave you?"
I had tears in my eyes.
He is right, but he can't see what I can.
I have lived it all my life.
I know how it feels!
He rubbed his finger on my cheek, his eyes as desperate as mine.
"Tell me Eva...I know you are hurting. I will make it alright. Just trust me for once!"
Do I?
Should I tell him?
Will he trust me?
Will he think like others? Will he think I am a wh*** daughter?
Does he know my dad? His father looked quite close to him.
"I can fight anyone for you, Stalker.
Anyone.
Even my dad okay?"
"But you shouldn't Daniel! He is your father! You are the heir to this kingdom! You are the future!"
"See ! This is your problem!
You always care about others! What about us Eva?"
"There is no us"
"But Eva! I can't let you go! I love you dammit! And you know it!
I haven't loved anyone as much I love you, Stalker.
I...I... can't imagine my life without you ..I...."
"This is for our good. You have to understand. I just can't..I have been thinking Daniel...it's not worth it"
He looked at me on disbelief.
"Not worth it? Just listen to yourself! Who are you trying to convince?
I don't know! You are coming with me and I am telling everyone.
I don't care what happens.
We will be together and that's all I care!"
He pulled me up, trying to drag me along.
His grip on my wrist was strong.
"No Daniel! Listen to me!"
"No, I am not listening! Just come with me! The very reason I brought you today was to introduce you as my girlfriend. Come let's do it!"
I was pulling my hand but he was persistent.
Determined to proclaim my position in his life.
"No! Stop!"
Has he gone crazy? Why was he being so stubborn?
If everyone comes to know, they will judge me all my life.
My career will be ruined along with my reputation.
No one will think me to be his girlfriend...they will think I trapped him with my body or something.
"Stop it, Daniel!"
He was not stopping, he kept pulling me unless I finally screamed at him.
My anger surfacing.
"Just let me go!!"
With this, I pulled my hand from his grip harshly.
My words were a double-pointed sword.
They hurt like sh**
I can feel his hands drop.
I can feel my body shaking without his support.
He stepped back with a look of helplessness.
His fists clenching with anger.
"I can't okay! I can't! I have no one! My career is my everything! You will ruin it all damn**!
I am nobody Daniel...you have a family...you have a kingdom..I have nothing!!"
"You have me!! Wasn't I enough!!"
"Daniel! I have only dreamed of joining the military forces one day! It was my dream! You are taking it all away from me!"
I am sorry Dan
I am lying but this is the only way out.
I can forget my thousand dreams to be with you, but I can't take your only dream away from you.
You were born to be the king of this kingdom.
With me or without.
I am no one to stop you.
"So this is what is it huh? Career-oriented women.
Do you think I would have stopped you from pursuing your dreams? "
"You are the future king Daniel! Do you even realize how much responsibility will come on your shoulders?
And I would have to be with you every time. I can't...even if you would have wished to"
He looked at me with disbelief.
"I get you now. So all this time you were only concerned about your fuck*** career when I was ready to leave my entire kingdom for you! Thank you for opening my eyes..and here I thought there was something else troubling you!"
"No Dan-"
"No that's enough Eva! I told you to teach me your selfless love. I am sorry love for I couldn't understand how selfish you were!
I was the crazy one here begging you for love when you can only love yourself!"
"Well played miss Williams! Well played!"
He was going away.
He was clapping, mocking my deceit.
Let him go Eva
Don't stop him!
Or else there will be no coming back.
"All the very best for your future Miss Williams.
Hope you become successful in life."
I held my dress in my clenched fingers, trying to stop me from running towards him.
His eyes held mine one last time and when I broke our eye contact, he was gone.
Just like that.
Out of my life.
I dropped down on the ground with all the controlled tears getting released.
I finally did it, didn't I?
The only person I have ever loved, I pushed him away from me.
This will hurt like hell right now, I know this.
Next few months will be sleepless and life will be depressing without him holding me.
But in the long run, I just hope it will be worth it.
I just hope my sacrifice for his love will not be wasted.
Who said love was easy? But do you know what is more difficult?
Letting go
For my love was restricting you when you were born to break the shackles.
.....................................................
He saw her leave
Her steps were hasty just like her entrance in his life.
He gulped the drink to numb the pain but sadly it was just temporary.
A heaviness was settling in his chest when he realised he will not wake up to her heavenly fragrance next day.
He will not be able to play with those silky locks.
She crashed with a person and apologized.
Her hands clutching to the dress tightly.
It was none other than that bas*** Charlie.
He did this purposely.
He could tell.
But he won't be a problem anymore.
After all, there was no 'us' now, he thought.
"What was taking so long?"
He thought as he saw him being persistent on something.
She kept denying but he was not listening.
A few minutes later he saw them leave together.
Just before he guided her the way out, his eye met Daniel's.
And he managed to smirk at him, to which Daniel just ignored.
He knows he should have dropped her home, just for the sake of being a gentleman.
After all, he was the one who brought her here.
But he couldn't afford to see her face right now.
Her rejection has broken him beyond repair.
He was finally heartbroken
Something he never thought he would, but then again he never thought he will find someone like Evalinge.
Love? Now that I have been betrayed and she has walked away.
I will never let anyone become this important to me again.
I will sustain being alone if it takes, but never will I go around searching for love in vain.
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